


if this is love (i want my money back)

by borrowedtime



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/F, Star Wars AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22128343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borrowedtime/pseuds/borrowedtime
Summary: Kara Zor El knows two things to be true. The Luthors are the most vicious Siths in recent history, and Sith Inquisitor Lena Luthor is standing in front of her asking for her help.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers
Comments: 176
Kudos: 662





	1. beating and beating an intractable metal

**Author's Note:**

> title from 'If This Is Love' by King Princess. 
> 
> chapter title from Blackberrying by Sylvia Plath.

An alarm wakes her. It’s the same as always, but it still leaves Kara’s heart racing. That alarm means one of two things: an escapee from the nearby prison or the Empire has landed. Kara knows somewhere, in the part of her mind not shrouded in immediate panic, that the Empire never troubles Abafar—that’s why she picked it. 

Still, it takes her minutes to sit up in her cot and start thinking clearly. The other cot across from her is already empty. Alex must be out. Their poor excuse for beds may lack comfort and sentimentality, but they can be packed up in a hurry. Kara stands up, brushes the dust from the desert off of her clothes and starts packing. A little voice in the back of her mind tells her that it could be nothing. Then again, it could be something. 

The alarm is still blaring when Kara folds up her cot and walks over to the corner of the little room they rent from their landlord—a nasty and suspicious Abyssin. Her backpack is ready to go. It’s a good thing she’s already dressed. Being on the run usually means having to avoid pyjamas. 

‘Hey.’ 

Kara wheels around to see her sister standing in the doorway. There’s a tautness to the edges of her mouth. So, it isn’t nothing. 

‘We have to go?’ Kara asks, arms already through her backpack as she hoists it onto her shoulders. 

Alex nods. ‘Yeah. Could be the Empire on their way. I heard some rumours they’re looking for Force sensitives again.’ 

Kara winces. ‘Here? This tiny planet doesn’t have much of anything, let alone Force users.’

‘They got the information somehow. You didn’t—‘

‘Of course I didn’t, Alex. Jesus.’ 

Alex holds up her hands. ‘Alright, alright. I had to ask.’

Kara picks up her folded cot as Alex moves into the room and packs her own things. Her sister has been out scavenging, if the bruises on her arms are anything to go by. She still has their father’s blaster attached to a belt around her middle. Good. They can’t afford to lose that. 

Alex has her things ready in a few seconds and they head out of the room together. They keep their faces neutral and posture relaxed, but Kara finds it hard to not curl her fingers into fists the more the alarm drones on. It’s a high pitched ring, not unpleasant exactly, but Kara is never too fond of the connotations. You usually get sick of something you hear too often.

‘Do you know anything else?’ Kara says, eventually, as they make their way through the desert street and past small crowds of people. 

‘Just that there’s a few ships. Meant to be lower rankings.’

Alex must have traded her food to get that information. Breakfast is an important meal, but being prepared is priceless to them now. Kara tries not to make eye contact with many people here. They usually don’t bother her unless she’s trying to take something. She has a reputation of being weak here, but they won’t start anything with Alex around. 

‘Is it the Luthors?’ Kara asks, when they make it past the crowds and into more open space. Sand crunches under her feet. She focuses on that dependable sound and tries not to think about the Sith family that has infested the last decade with an untold era of Empire success.

‘I don’t know.’ Alex sighs. ‘They’re probably the source of the information, but I doubt they’d come here.’ 

‘They’re too important.’ Kara nods. ‘Good. At least it’s working in our favour.’ 

‘Come on.’ Alex starts moving a little quicker as they hear people gather in what passes for the town square. ‘We need to get a move on if we’re going to get out of here.’

As they trek across the desert, Kara finds her mind wandering. It’s the same thing her mind always goes to when this happen. Krypton. Her life before. What life used to be like before she was planet hopping to get away from the Empire. Before the Empire used their death star and their ideology to blow her planet out of existence. It’s pointless and irresponsible to cry now—they have hours more to travel and the desert is unforgiving—so Kara steels herself and tries to focus on their goal.  


Get off Abafar and find another low populated planet to go to. Then she can worry about her feelings. 

‘Are you okay? Alex asks, quietly. She’s not looking at her, so she can’t see Kara struggling to maintain her composure, but she knows every scenario like this is difficult. She’s the one that wakes up every other night to the sound of Kara screaming. 

‘Yeah.’ Kara sighs. ‘Yeah, I’ll be fine. We just need to get off this goddamn planet. Any idea where to head next?’

Alex looks at her, then, and shakes her head. Her short, red hair moves with the wind. ‘Not really. We’re running out of new places to go.’ 

‘What about Dantooine?’ 

Alex scoffs. ‘There’s too many people there. Too much opportunity for someone to recognise you.’ 

Kara shrugs. ‘Nobody knows me anymore. I think we’ll be fine. The Zor Els are a forgotten memory.’ 

Alex side-eyes her and then scuffs her shoe on the sand. ‘Fine. But if I’m suspicious of anyone, we leave right away.’ 

Kara cracks a smile for the first time that morning. ‘You’re suspicious of everyone.’ 

Alex rolls her eyes. ‘Well it’s kept you alive for this long, hasn’t it?’ 

They spend the next three hours walking across the desert wasteland Kara refuses to think of as her home. Their time on this planet was close to the longest they’ve ever spent in one place. Eighteen months scavenging and surviving, to have to pack it all up and start again. Alex never liked to go anywhere that was too populated, at first. Kara used to be easily recognisable with her blonde hair, sparkling eyes and sunny demeanour. Unfortunately, their travels had shown them that Kryptonians were hard for people to forget. 

But that was years ago now. Eight years, to be exact. Kara was sixteen when they left their mother—Eliza Danvers—back on Coruscant. Eliza couldn’t come with them, because she needed to defend the planet after the Empire attack. Kara had felt sick, when they flew out on their father’s ship. The Empire had laughed an attack on innocent people on an innocent planet because they were looking for her. The last Kryptonian. 

Or so the tale goes. Kara has been lulled into a false sense of security these last few years. So many people believe that she’s dead now. Killed off by Sith or that she never survived the explosion to begin with. She is a myth. Kara doesn’t mull over it too much anymore. Myths are useful. No one expects a myth to still be real. 

She was eight when she first met Alex, smuggled into Devaron by Resistance fighters. Eliza housed her, as a Resistance member herself, and later decided to raise her. Kara Zor El—the last surviving member of a race of prolific Force users—became Kara Danvers. Luckily, the Empire don’t really think to look for some random human called Kara Danvers, so she’s been able to keep her second name.

Alex and her switch it up every now and then though, especially when they have to register their names in records, because Alex is nothing if not suspicious. Kara finds comfort in her second name. It gives her a sense of familiarity and security. It gives her warmth to know that she is not the last one to share this name. 

Alex and Kara come up to a rocky outcrop and begin to climb the worn down steps to the top of a cave.

Kara pants. ‘Alex, did you really have to pick a place with so many stairs?’ 

Alex half-heartedly shoves her and grins. ‘Got to keep you on your toes.’ 

They walks a little ways into the cave and find Alex’s ship. It’s been a miracle they’ve been able to keep it this long. It’s survived six months and several repairs. It caught fire once and Alex had spent tokens upon tokens to get enough parts to fix it up. They never use it unless they need to leave.

‘Give me a minute to get this set up.’ Alex says as she walks up to the small TIE Fighter and fishes the control plane out of her backpack. 

They couldn’t risk anyone taking the ship for a joyride while they weren’t around. Kara sits down on the dusty floor and waits. She sees the outlines of Empire spacecraft on the edges of the sky. They have less time than they thought.

‘Alex.’ Kara warns. ‘You might want to hurry up.’ 

‘Yeah. I’m going.’ Alex grouses, as she opens the hatch to the cockpit. ‘A few minutes and we should be up and away.’ 

True to her word, Alex has the ship ready and they fly out under the cover of sandy winds as quick as they can without being suspicious. Kara thinks that the Empire ships might have noticed them, but they don’t send anything to pursue. 

‘Looks like we got away just in time.’ Kara crows, throwing a fist up in the air in celebration. 

Alex side-eyes her and tries not to smile. ‘All right, no need to celebrate just yet. We still have to figure out a covert way to get into Dantooine without attracting too much attention.’ 

‘We could say we’re here to help plant the regrowth. I heard there were fires there the other month. Devastated a massive amount of land.’

‘Sure.’ Alex concedes. ‘But where have we come from? And don’t say anywhere rich, we don’t look like we have money.’ 

‘We could say we were refugees and now we travel around planets helping those in need.’ 

‘Refugees is too inflammatory. We’ll say we’re travellers.’ Alex decides. 

Kara nods. ’Okay, boss. Fly us to Dantooine.’  
————

The sky is red. Kara can hear screaming as she runs out of her bedroom. The curtains are on fire. Why are the curtains on fire? Her parents—her real parents—are shouting at her, but she can’t hear what they’re trying to say. She turns to run back as she sees Stormtroopers float towards them. Float? They can’t float.

Nothing makes sense and Kara panics, running away from her parents, her planets, everything. She backs up, tries to head back to her bedroom. The ground disappears and then she’s falling through a dark chasm in the floor.  


Falling, falling, falling. She screams.

She hears a distant laugh, cruel and deliberate. Her own.

’You know, if you fought back you could have stopped it.’ 

Then she wakes up, shivering and sweating at the same time. She pulls herself up into a sitting position in her cot and crosses her arms. A dream. It was just a dream. She’s here, on the ship with Alex, flying to Dantooine. She’s not on Krypton. She wasn’t there when it exploded. She was on a ship. A ship just like this one. No. Kara shakes her head. Focus. Not a ship like this one. 

‘My name is Kara Danvers.’ Kara says. ‘I’m just a normal human trying to help people. I’m here with my sister Alex. We wanted to help replant the land.’ 

Alex taught her that. How to be in the present when the nightmares cloud your vision. Alex said that she learnt to do it when their father—Jeremiah Danvers—died fighting the Empire. You can’t be at your best and on your guard when your mind is clouded, she used to say. 

Kara gets up from the cot and makes her way to the passenger seat. Alex is flying the ship even though their autopilot still works. She refuses to close her eyes while Kara is asleep. Anything could catch them off guard, then, and Alex intends to never be caught by surprise again. 

‘Nightmares?’ Alex murmurs. 

Kara nods. ‘Was I screaming?’

‘Yep.’ Alex tosses her a packet of dried bread. ‘Scared the shit out of me.’

‘Sorry.’ Kara tears into the packets and starts eating little handfuls of their emergency foodstuffs.

‘We’ll be landing soon. Got your story straight?’ Alex asks. 

‘Yeah. I know what to do.’

‘Good. Then let’s try and make this work.’  
—————

They stay on Dantooine for two months before things go wrong. Alex and Kara work on a farmer’s land. Their pay is room and board. Their work is replanting and being general farmhands. As far as things go, it’s one of their more comfortable situations. At least they have a roof over their heads, constant food and a boss who isn’t a complete asshole. 

On the contrary, Cero is a friendly human once you get to know him, if not a little gruff. He assumes the worst in people and barely let Alex and Kara get any rest until they managed to reassure him that they weren’t going to steal anything. And they haven’t stolen anything, despite Alex’s best efforts. Kara has always managed to convince her not to, though Alex keeps saying that it would make their future lives so much easier if they could be prepared. 

‘Honesty pays.’ Kara had reminded her and Alex had abandoned her attempts to make them fugitives as well as travellers. 

Then, things start getting tricky. They hear word that the Empire is sending some Sith into Dantoinee for a diplomatic mission. To help out. The general consensus was that they were coming to quell any idle feelings of revolution and uprising, born out of the fact that the Empire were ones who started the fires on Dantoinee in the first place. 

‘We need to leave now.’ Alex tells her, as soon as Kara delivers the news. 

‘Cero just told me he doesn’t think they’re going to be here for another month or so. We’ve still got time.’ Kara counters.

They’re standing in the kitchen, a room they’re finally allowed into now that Cero has warmed up to them. Alex is cooking a porridge-like dish in a pot. She turns to face Kara, spoon with sludge caked onto it in hand and raised like a weapon. 

‘I don’t care what Cero told you. Sith are going to be here. So, we should not be here.’ 

Kara rolls her eyes. ‘Stop being so dramatic.’ 

‘You’re getting attached again.’ 

Kara feels herself go cold all over. ‘No, I’m not.’ 

Alex raises both her eyebrows in questioning. ‘Yes, you are. You need to cut ties with this place. You’re only going to put yourself in danger if you think of this place like home.’

‘I need a home!’ Kara shouts. ‘You need a home! Alex, I’m so tired of running. I like this planet. Can’t we just stay here until we hear definitive word that the Sith are coming?’

Alex’s face softens when she sees the tears in Kara’s eyes and she slumps, defeated. ‘Fine. But next time, we leave when I say we leave.’

Kara lets her anger dissipate, falling off of her like water. ‘Promise.’ 

The next morning, Kara goes out to her field work without seeing Alex. It’s a little odd, given that Alex usually like to wake her so that they have an opportunity to talk, but Kara brushes it off and assumes that Alex wanted to get an early start. She has become rather invested in trying to get Cero’s tractor to work. Kara knows how lucky she is to have an engineer for a sister. 

When Kara doesn’t see Alex at lunch, either, she knows something is definitely up. She asks Cero if she can take the rest of the day off—work later on another evening—so she can go look for Kara. Cero begrudgingly says yes, but gives her a bottle of water to take into town with her anyway. 

When Kara reaches the centre of their little town, she goes straight to Elro at the market. He is standing behind his stall as always, fresh fruit and vegetables at the ready. The best gossip in town.

‘Elro.’ Kara greets. ‘Any sign of Alex?’ 

‘No, not yet.’ Elro grumbles.’But I did hear of a fight happen about three streets away. Something about a thief.’ 

Kara thanks him for the information, ignores the dull pang of panic in her chest, and buys some fruit from him for the trouble. She eats it on her way over. Three streets away is bandit territory. Alex might have been trying to steal from them or worse, trying to stop them from stealing from her. Their father’s blaster usually catches the eye of some lowlife trying to bulk up his own weapons.

She finds Alex on the ground, blood pouring out of her nose. 

‘Alex!’ Kara rushes over. 

‘I’m fine.’ Alex gets out. From the way she’s wheezing, Kara is willing to bet she’s broken a few ribs. A bad sign for someone in the farmhand business. 

‘You’re not.’ Kara says. ‘Did you try and fight the bandits?’ 

‘No.’ Alex sits up, with Kara’s help. ‘I went into the market to shop for Cero. They jumped me. Said they didn’t like my attitude or something.’ 

‘Wanted your blaster, more like.’ Kara murmurs. 

‘Yeah.’ Alex wipes her nose on the front of her shirt, pulling it up. ‘They took that. Said they’d be back. Help me get out of here, will you?’ 

Kara is halfway through pulling Alex into a standing position when she hears a laugh a little while away. 

‘Where do you think you’re going?’ A voice calls. 

Kara turns around to see Artujor Haljarm, the human leader of the bandits, walking towards her with three of his clan. 

‘I don’t want any trouble.’ Kara says as Alex leans on her. ‘I’m just here to pick up my sister.’ 

He sneers. Kara spots the blaster tied to his back. God, how she wishes she could just push that guy over and grab it. She knows she can’t. It’s far too risky. But it doesn’t stop her feeling the familiar twinge of the Force in the tips of her fingers. 

‘Who said you could take her?’ Artujor spits out. ‘I was hoping to have a little fun.’

Kara glares. ‘You’ve already taken enough. Keep the blaster and let us go.’  
‘Kara.’ Alex coughs. ‘Don’t get worked up. We can get out of this.’

Alex must have noticed Kara clench her fists. Artujor laughs again, a nasty sound that Kara has heard from too many bullies, and stands all but two meters from them. 

‘I think I’ll be taking both of you.’ He says. 

When he lunges forward to grab Alex, Kara shifts to push Alex behind her. Artujo grins and pulls a knife from his belt. Kara has no weapons and is hopelessly outnumbered. But she’s not letting them be taken and certainly not letting them be sold into some kind of horrific servitude. 

‘Kara.’ Alex warns. ‘Don’t.’

But Kara can’t help it. When one of the bandits walks over to Alex, staff in hand and ready to beat her or take her, Kara force-pushes him away. In the surprise that ensues, Kara is able to take Artujo’s knife from him and stab him in the upper arm. 

He screams. She stabs again. The bandits converge on her, disinterested in Alex, and Kara dodges one of their staffs and force-pushes them all into a crumbling nearby building. The building creaks and cracks. The concrete collapses and buries the bandits in the rubble. 

‘Well, at least they won’t be getting up after that.’ Kara sighs. 

‘Kara.’ Alex says, in a measured tone. ‘What the fuck did you just do?’

Kara turns to see her sister glaring at her from down on the ground. Kara crosses her arms. 

‘I wasn’t about to let them kill you.’ 

‘Fuck.’ Alex sighs. ‘Kara, we need to get out of here. Start planning where we’re going to go next. I don’t want to hear another word about how you like Dantooine.’ 

Kara raises her hands in defence and helps Alex up. They struggle back to Cero’s farm together. 

They end up telling Cero that due to Alex’s injury they’ll be heading home. They neglect to mention where home is. Cero isn’t too up in arms about it, only a little annoyed that he’ll have to find more truth worthy and capable hired help. He lets them stay one more night, as payment for the work that Kara had done earlier that day. 

Alex and Kara spend the night packing. Correction. Kara spends the night packing and Alex spends the night telling Kara off. 

‘Honestly, Kara. Do you like putting yourself in danger?’ She says. 

Kara rolls her eyes. ‘You know I don’t. And yes, I thought about the consequences and decided that you were worth it. And yes, I understand that we have to go back into hiding and not come out until we’re all withered and grey. Can you stop lecturing me now?’ 

Alex leans against the walls her cot rests against. ‘Did you check that they were dead, at least?’

‘Who?’ Kara stuffs a spare shirt into her backpack. 

‘The bandits.’

‘I pushed them into a building, Alex, I don’t think they’ll be bothering us again.’ 

‘Think, Kara. If they’re still alive, they’ll let the Empire know about force sensitives on this planet. You know the reward for that.’ 

‘I didn’t check.’ 

‘I figured. You didn’t try to kill them either, did you?’

Kara bristles. ‘I—‘

Alex gets up from the bed, groaning as she does so. She has Artujo’s knife in her hand. ‘Stay here and don’t do anything stupid until I get back.’ 

Kara can’t argue, really. She’d like to, but she knows it’s pointless. They’re safer if the bandits are dead. In all likelihood, the Empire would have picked up on a disturbance in the Force already—a discharge of energy where one hadn’t existed before—but Kara really doesn’t need some good for nothing bandits confirming the Empire’s suspicions. She just wishes Alex didn’t have to kill them. 

Kara secures their belongings and makes sure that they’re ready to go. They’ll leave in the morning, it is less suspicious that way. Since Alex had been able to fool spacecraft control with her ‘official’ papers for the TIE fighter, she’d been able to park it in plain sight. 

Alex gets back, somber and silent. It’s her usual mood whenever she’d had to kill something sentient. In the rush of a fight, it doesn’t affect her as much, but Kara knows that Alex would rather reason than kill. So, Kara doesn’t say anything or start anything when Alex goes to bed. They both try and get some sleep in the relevant silence. Kara listens to the din of noise outside and hopes that things might be better in the morning.  
————

It’s late morning by the time Kara and Alex make it to the spacecraft control space and present their papers to pick up the TIE fighter. The main guard, one Kara isn’t familiar with, looks at their papers and then shakes his head.

‘Do you have approved fight plans?’ He says. ‘These won’t do anymore.’ 

‘What?’ Alex asks. ‘They were good enough two months ago.’ 

He shrugs. ‘You need Empire approved flight plans to leave Dantooine now. The Sith diplomats are flying in today.’ 

Alex freezes. ‘So, we can’t leave.’ 

‘Not without flight plans.’

Kara watches Alex do the mental math. They can’t steal the spacecraft because this section of the town is too heavily guarded by Empire soldiers to make a quick escape. Kara can’t use the Force to help without blowing her identity and attracting even more attention. There’s nothing they can do. 

Alex sighs and takes her papers back. ‘All right. Thanks for the help.’ 

They take themselves and their belongings to the market area. When they sit down at a cafe, Alex leans forward and puts her head in her hands. 

‘We need a plan.’ Comes her muffled voice. 

‘Try tomorrow?’ Kara suggests. ‘I doubt the disturbance has registered for the Empire yet. The Sith diplomats will be here and they might allow people to fly out again.’

‘All right. Try to survive tonight and we’ll try tomorrow.’

It’s a long shot, they both know that, but there’s no room for negativity in their minds right now. Maybe Kara’s luck is finally up. Eight years on the run and the Empire has caught up to her. 

‘Don’t do that.’ Alex says suddenly. 

‘What?’ Kara asks, as she looks out at the people that pass them by on the street. 

‘Stop thinking about how they’re going to capture you.’ 

‘But they might.’ 

‘They won’t.’ Alex puts her hand on top of Kara’s. ‘I won’t let them.’

Kara laughs, but it’s small and tinny. ‘I doubt you can stand up to Sith Knights.’ 

‘We don’t know who the Sith diplomats are yet, Kara. There’s still hope. There’s always hope.’ 

They spend a tense afternoon wandering around and trying to pick up things that might be useful for their swift getaway tomorrow morning. When it gets to evening, they make a visit to Cero to ask him to stay another night. After explaining the situation, and throwing in some money for the trouble, Cero agrees that they can have their room back until the guards let them fly out the following day. 

A tense afternoon becomes a tense night. Kara finds herself exhausted and wanting to sleep, but at the same time unwilling to let rest take her consciousness away. What if they come back? She finds herself thinking. What if they really do find me this time? All the years of running had made her think that maybe the Empire had forgotten about her. Maybe they had really believed the rumours that the last Kryptonians died out. The fierce Resistance leaders crushed in a mighty display by the Sith Empire and their death star. 

‘They’ll take one look and recognise me.’ Kara says, to the darkness. 

‘They might.’ Alex answers. She sounds just as weary as Kara is. ‘They might not.’ 

‘Since when were you one for dogged optimism?’

‘Since you lost yours.’ Alex shifts, Kara hears her turning over in her cot. ‘Sleep, Kara. You’ll get your answer in the morning.’ 

Though Kara doesn’t think it at all possible, sleep takes her soon after.  
————

Kara wakes to the smell of smoke. It takes her a little time to recognise that it’s come from outside. She rushes out of bed to find Alex staring out of the window, trying to stay out of sight. 

‘Alex.’ Kara says, as she grabs her backpack and folds her cot. ‘What’s happening?’

‘Stay down.’ Alex orders, as Kara stays her best to stay out of the view of the window. ‘They’re burning the farm.’

‘They?’ 

‘Yeah. Stormtroopers. A modest amount, really. Looks like two Sith out of the front. Possibly more.’ 

‘What do they want?’

‘I don’t know yet. Haven’t made that out. They’ve got Cero and they’re asking him questions. Funny way to start a diplomatic mission.’ 

‘They know I’m here.’ 

‘No.’ Alex reminds her. ‘They know someone force sensitive is on the planet. Big leap to say it’s you.’ 

‘We should make a run for it.’ 

’To where? Better to stay put and wait out whatever this is. They’ve got the house surrounded.’ 

‘I can take them.’ 

‘And give away your identity in a split second. Kara, be reasonable.’ 

‘I’m trying.’ Kara snaps. ‘It’s a little difficult at the moment.’ 

Alex shrinks back from the window to find her sister sitting on the floor and staring at the door. She goes and sits down next to her. 

‘No matter what happens, I’ll be here.’ She wraps her arms around Kara’s shoulders and pulls her close.

The comfort doesn’t last long. They hear shouts and make out that the Stormtroopers are telling them to get out of the house. They say they know Cero is aware of a force sensitive individual living there and will kill him unless the person reveals themselves. 

‘How could Cero know?’ Kara whispers. 

‘He doesn’t. It’s a trick. Don’t move.’ Alex replies, sneaking back to the window.

‘They’ll kill him.’

‘Kara. Don’t.’

‘I have to.’

Alex makes a futile attempt to grab Kara, to keep her from moving. Kara moves forward anyway. She ignores her panicked and racing heartbeat, ignores all her mind screaming at her to stop moving, ignores her shaking hands. She leaves the room and heads for the front door. 

‘Kara!’ Alex yells, but doesn’t follow. She knows that if the Empire find Alex in the house then they’ll just capture and kill her. For disobeying orders. For associating with a force sensitive individual without letting the Empire know. For protecting her sister. 

Kara opens the front door and steps outside, hands up.

‘I’m here. Don’t kill him.’ 

Cero turns away from the Stormtroopers pointing their guns at him. ‘Kara. It was you?’

Kara nods, once, and walks towards the black-cloaked individuals in front of the house. When she gets close enough to make out their faces, her entire body goes numb with fear. 

‘Kara Zor El.’ HIs voice rumbles, a sickening smirk crossing his face. ‘It must be my lucky day.’ 

Standing in front of her is none other than Lex Luthor—Darth Mortem—and his sister Lena.


	2. borne back ceaselessly into the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from the Great Gatsby.

Kara wakes up cold. It’s the kind of cold she’s only experienced a handful of times; bone-chilling. There’s something about winter weather when it gets this bad. It settles into your core. It makes a home in your ribs and fingertips. It’s unshakeable. 

But when Kara opens her eyes, it’s not a wintry planet like Hoth she finds herself on. Once she blinks enough to adjust to the harsh light beaming down at her from what must be the ceiling, she finds herself tied to a metal table. Oh. Right. She’s been captured. 

How had that happened exactly? She remembers walking out to see the youngest Luthors standing there, looking tense and proud at the same—or Lex, at least. They had a brief conversation, something snippy and built upon years of tension, and then she can’t remember a thing. Lex must have knocked her out, tricked her mind into leaving the conscious world. She remembers trying to fight it, that errant blackness calling to her, but being unable to. 

She can feel the shame welling up in her like a spring. She should have fought harder, used all the Force tricks she knows. She should have been better. Her connection to the Force is tenuous at best, it seems. Eight years not using the Force, and in some instances actively shutting it out, has started to take its toll. She’s more than a little rusty.

‘That’s nothing to be ashamed of.’ A voice says to her left. ‘It was bound to happen.’ 

Kara strains her neck against her bindings to catch Darth Mortem chuckling at her left. She can feel him, in the back of her mind, reading and waiting.

Lex smiles when he catches her eye. ‘Oh, good. I was being to wonder if that Kryptonian connection to the Force was all it was cracked up to be.’ 

Kara stares at his face, shrouded in a black hood, and focusing on building bricks in her mind. She needs to keep him out of there. If she has any hope at least, she’ll have to get him out of there. She envisions building a wall, brick by brick. It’s easy enough. Then, add steel layers to the bricks. Then, encase her whole mind. She feels the connection sever and break. He’s gone. She’s done it. Her thoughts are hers again. 

‘What a neat trick.’ Lex says.  
Then she feels a snap in the forefront of her mind. Like someone has taken a staff to the inner workings of her brain. The wall is down. He’s broken down her defences without even trying. Kara struggles against the immediate tears that follow. How the fuck is she going to get out of this?

‘Lex.’ She hears a bored voice say. ‘Really. Don’t you have better things to do?’ 

Lex sighs, his posture adjusts to something more relaxed but still steely. ‘You always try to spoil my fun.’ 

Kara hears clear, clean footsteps. Boots on the ground. Then, just in the corner of her peripheral vision, she appears. Lena Luthor. The youngest Sith Inquistor ever. She looks relatively normal. Dressed in a black shirt, pants and boots, it’s almost as if she’s just another Sith. Her hair is tied up. She doesn’t wear a cloak. Kara spies her lightsaber attached at her side. Double-bladed, most likely. 

‘Someone has to.’ Lena reminds him. ‘You know you’re supposed to be in a meeting.’ 

Lex rolls his shoulders. ‘Tell mother I simply can’t make it. Aren’t we going to execute the Jedi tonight?’

‘Tell her yourself.’ Lena turns her attention from Lex to Kara. ‘Are we sure she’s even a Jedi?’ 

Kara is momentarily struck by the clarity in Lena’s eyes that she forgets to answer. She doesn’t need to, it turns out, because Lex is laughing again and telling her that all Kryptonians are Jedi. They can’t help it. The weakness is in their nature.

‘Just like Kal.’ Lex murmurs, with what Kara could almost call fondness. 

Her body goes taunt. It’s a stupid idea to say anything, but she can’t stop herself from grounded out: ‘Keep my cousin’s name out of your mouth.’ 

Lex lets out a laugh, full bodied and malicious. ‘Oh! She speaks!’

Kara can’t help the tears then. They leak out the corners of her eyes, just a few, before she is able to hod herself back. Not that there’s much point to hiding anything anyway. Lex has already leached into her brain, feeding off every thought she’s ever had. She is utterly powerless, utterly hopeless and being mocked at every turn. 

‘Now, now.’ Lex tuts. ‘No need to be so droll.’ 

‘Since you’re already in her mind.’ Lena reminds him. ‘You can tell me if she’s a Jedi. As well as what ranking, preferably.’

Lex rolls his eyes. ‘What do you need that for?’

‘Record-keeping.’ 

‘A Knight. If I had to guess.’ 

Lena pauses. ‘Guess?’

Something in Lex snaps then. His demeanour shifts from jovial brother to outright terror. His spine straightens, his shoulders go rigid and his mouth takes on a snarl. He whirls around to face his sister, one hand already back at his hip where his lightsaber rests. 

‘I don’t need you of all people questioning my methods.’ 

Lena’s face remains a remarkable mask of stoicism. ‘Really, Lex. Enough with the dramatics.’

‘You will address me by my proper name.’ 

Lena nods, suddenly serious. ‘Of course. Darth Mortem. I’ll let you have your fun.’

With that, she exists. Interestingly, from Kara’s vantage point, she did not see Lena once move towards her own lightsaber. Perhaps she won’t fight her own brother, if it came down to that. Perhaps she doesn’t think she’ll win. 

Lex turns his attention back to Kara, then. He has a glint in his eye. The same glint that she saw in the bandits back in Dantooine before she up and got captured. Power. He seems drunk on it. Ready to do whatever it takes to secure the Empire, ready to tell the world that they have captured and killed the last Kryptonian. 

‘You’re going to die.’ He reminds her. ‘I want you to remember that.’ 

‘It’s a little hard to forget.’ Kara tells him. She might as well just up and say all her thoughts outloud if he can read them anyway. 

‘But.’ Lex leans down so that he is mere centimetres above her. ‘I want you to remember something else first.’ 

One of his gloved hands touch her forehead and their present day is transformed. No, she thinks as they travel through time and space, she won’t relive this. 

_There are clouds of smoke everywhere. Coruscant is on fire. Ships rain down blasts onto anyone who tries to escape. The screams are deafening. Kara doesn’t know what to do. She stands in the rubble of the Temple. She was given one directive. Help people get out. Don’t use the Force. Not unless her own life was in danger. Don’t use it for anyone else._

_That was the hardest part to stick to, but Eliza had been clear. She would be doubly hunted if the Empire thought she was more than a simple rebel. Kara just wishes that she could have convinced Kal of the same thing. Her cousin is a couple years younger than her—captured by the Sith in the raid of Krypton as a baby and raised to believe he was a simple human—but he looks older. Weathered._

_He has been fighting the fights that she herself is not allowed to. When he was dropped off on a neighbouring planet to the Sith base he was taken to, he was stolen by a rebel. The woman who raised him said she had no idea he was a Kryptonian. She was trying to stop them raising more Stormtroopers._

_She succeeded, of course. Kal did not become a Stormtrooper. He discovered his powers around the same age Kara did, except he decided to use them. He sought a Master and became a powerful Jedi. A rebel. In part, that is why the Sith are here. Ready to quell the Resistance once and for all. Ready to vanquish the world of the last Kryptonians._

_Kal wields a green lightsaber, deflecting Stormtrooper bullets back to the soldiers. He uses the Force to push some rubble away from falling onto innocent citizens. Kara directs people towards the last of the ships that haven’t been destroyed by the oncoming swarm of Empire aircraft. Then, she sees him._

_Darth Mortem walks out of the largest ship, single red blade high. He slices through some rebel soldiers like they are water. They fall to the ground, too stunned to even scream. Kara wants to shout that Kal shouldn’t engage. He should wait for back up. He shouldn’t try to take on the Sith. But Kal has had too many years of being a hero and not a refugee._

_He runs head first into the fight._

_Kal keeps up with Mortem, deflecting his strikes and countering when he can. Mortem is clearly the more experienced fighter, though, and it’s beginning to show. Kal is slowing and his blocks are getting weaker. When Mortem slashes low at Kal’s knees, he can’t move away fast enough. The lightsaber makes contact and slices clean through Kal’s left leg._

_He falls. Kara shouts. Mortem laughs, through his helmet._

_He raises the lightsaber high and strikes._

_His blow doesn’t land. Kara has sprinted her way to the fight. She distantly hears Alex tell her to stop, but she can’t. She will not let the only other member of her kind be slaughtered in front of her while she watches._

_She has pulled her lightsaber from its secure pouch on her side. The saber responds instantly and their two blades collide. Her purple blade clashes against Mortem’s red._

_‘You.’ He says. ‘You’re the other one.’_

_Kara yells and steps back far enough to strike for Mortem’s head. He ducks just in time. While he staggers, Kara tries to help Kal up._

_Mortem rushes towards her, a high arcing strike forcing her to redirect her attention and her weight to lock their blades together again._

_‘You can’t protect him and fight me at the same time.’ Mortem taunts._

_‘I can.’ She spits out. ‘I will.’_

_Poor, sweet, foolish Kal tries to get up and help her. She sees the struggle in his face. The pain must be unbearable. He tries a weak jab at Mortem. The other man deflects it with ease and manages to knock Kal’s lightsaber from his hand._

_Kara force-pulls Kal’s lightsaber to her, one using a lightsaber in each hand, and steps in front of her cousin. Mortem steps forward and slashes wildly to his left. Kara steps in kind to block him. He does it again and she steps away._

_It continues on and Kara wonders what Mortem is trying to do. Maybe he thinks he can’t win this fight? He drives her back and to her right. He keeps on going, while Kara tries to slash at any part of him she can reach. When she realises what he’s trying to do, it’s too late._

_He force pushes a sheet of metal onto her. It knocks her over and the wind leaves her. She coughing, getting up and readying her stance for another blow. It never comes._

_Instead, she sees Mortem raising his blade high and slicing at Kal. Kal dodges, but barely. He tries to force-push Mortem off balance but he doesn’t have enough energy left in himself to complete the task. Instead, he tries to get up and fight off Mortem with his bare hands._

_He doesn’t get far. When he hops up, Mortem leans forward and slices his lightsaber through Kal’s heart._

_Kara screams. She is sixteen when she truly loses the last of her kind._

_Mortem turns his attention to her, next. Kara can’t describe the emotion she feels in that moment. Not anger, not quite. Something stronger. Something perhaps even more volatile than rage. She yells and runs forward. She throws her aggression into her blows, landing one after another after another._

_Mortem is taken off guard and off balance. He can’t keep up with her. Then, his final mistake is when he trips on a small rock as he stumbles back._

_He trips just enough to waver his lightsaber. Kara has an opening for a killing blow._

_It doesn’t feel right, though. It doesn’t feel enough to suffice for what Kara just witnessed. It doesn’t soothe the hot rage in her veins. Her mind clouds. He has to suffer for what he’s done. He has to die slowly._

_Before Kara even realises what she’s doing, Mortem is two feet off the ground and gasping for air. Then, she realises her hand is outstretched and the one that’s causing the damage._

_Mortem chokes and flails. Yes, she thinks, struggle. She will have revenge._

The vision disappears. No, not the vision—the memory. Kara reacclimatises back to the present to see Lex’s sickening smile back on his face. 

‘As you can see.’ He gestures to himself. ‘You didn’t win. You won’t win ever again.’ 

He steps away from her, toying with something at his side. Kara tries to clear her mind of the grief that overwhelms her. Kal was so young and so full of hope. Too young, really, to take on the responsibility of trying to be a one man army. She should have helped him. She should have saved him. 

‘This has been fun.’ Lex says, tapping her on the forehead for good measure. ‘But I really must get going. I do have actual business to attend to.’ 

That is when Kara knows she will be killed in the morning. He must have just received the message via telepathy or he wouldn’t be leaving her alone. She will be executed publicly, she knows that much. The Empire love a show. 

She watches Lex stride out of the room with all the confidence in the world. The presence she felt in her mind vanishes. Good, so he hadn’t intended to stay in her mind until her dying moment. At least she can think freely. 

Alex had been the most understanding about witnessing her force-choke a man. Everyone else had berated her for her lack of control, said that she needed to keep calm and in control of herself. The dark side was only going to be more tempting if she let herself indulge in her anger. She neglected to add, at the time, that she was very angry. That anger still simmers in her, too, when she lets it. Alex had understood that; deep anger at the world for its circumstances. 

Alex. Kara strains to think about what happened at the farm, if she could recall anything about Alex escaping. She must have escaped. She wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and take the Empire head-on, without her blaster or any form of back up. Not with the Luthors around. But where would she go? Back to Eliza? Perhaps if she could get back to her. 

Live, Alex. Kara tries to project her thoughts to her sister. I need you to live. You don’t need to hide anymore. Try to have a life outside of this constant horror. 

Sleep finds Kara soon after. The effort from keeping Lex out and trying to communicate with Alex has wiped her out. Her mother visits her, then.

_She is standing in the room. The same metal room where Kara is tied to the table. Only, she isn’t tied to the table anymore. She is free. Well, free enough. Her mother smiles. Alura Zor El looks the same as she did when Kara was a child._

_‘Kara.’ She says. ‘Are you ready to return home?’_

_‘Home?’ Kara echoes. ‘We don’t have a home anymore.’_

_Alura laughs. It’s a musical sound and one that Kara has missed dearly. The ache settles back into her chest like it’s returning from a long journey. She feels it tighten and crawl up her throat. She fights back tears._

_‘Of course we do.’ Alura insists. ‘Rao will always guide us home.’_

_‘Rao.’ Kara gestures around her. ‘Well, we could use a little guidance down here too.’_

_Alura nods, suddenly very serious. ‘You must remember, Kara. You must remember what we taught you. The Force seeks balance. There is no light without shadow. There is no dawn without dusk. There cannot be one without the other.’_

_‘So evil will never truly be defeated?’ Kara sighs. She feeling so tired all of a sudden, like gravity has doubled its weight on her figure and is pulling her bones down to the ground._

_‘Not evil.’ Alura corrects. ‘Dark. Shadow. It has many names.’_

_Kara lets her sadness come to the forefront of her facial expression, as she smiles. ‘I don’t think it’s going to matter much, mother. I’m not going to be around much longer.’_

_‘You will be where you are needed.’ Alura promises. ‘Where you are meant to be.’_

Kara wakes with the dawn. She watches it bleed through the tiny window on the left hand side of the room. At least she knows she must be facing east. The light is brilliant. She catches a single glimpse of an orange ray of light and thinks it must be the most sublime thing she’s ever seen. Funny, what fresh perspective imminent death will bring. 

Kara admonishes herself. Alex would want her to hope. Alex was never a very optimistic person—not unless Kara was involved. So, she resolves to hope. For what, she doesn’t know. A miracle? A rescue is too much to fathom, so she sets her sights a more realistic goal. May she not die yet, she thinks, give her a few days or a week. Let her try and project messages to her loved ones. Let her reflect. 

Sudden, an airlock door opens. That is all the time Kara is allotted alone with her thoughts before Darth Mortem and Lena Luthor come striding back in. He is wearing his usual garb. Kara finds the colour scheme of red and black to be a little restricting. It washes him out, makes him look aged, makes him look transparent. Lena, on the other, looks at home in it. Kara squints when she thinks about how odd it is that two siblings she look so at odds in their family colours. 

‘Sleep well?’ Lex asks, as he stands nearby her table.

‘Can’t complain.’ Kara quips. For wont of nothing better to do. ‘Am I off to the execution then?’

Lex tuts. ‘So morbid.’ 

Might as well face facts. Kara thinks. 

‘Yes, I suppose you might as well.’ Lex admits. 

That niggling at her mind is back. That presence. He has broken into her mind and stolen her thoughts once again. She has let him, once again, without a fight. She didn’t even realise it was happening.  


Lex snaps his fingers and two Sith warriors walk down the corridor and up to her table. That’s right, the Luthor’s are too important to transport her themselves. Instead, the warriors take her table and wheel her—so it has wheels then—down the corridor. The Luthors follow along behind. Kara can just make out their figures in the corner of her eye.

The silence that begins is deafening. Kara tries to pay attention to anything she can. Any sign that would help her—any scrap of information at all—but she can’t seem to focus on anything except the occasional squeak of her table.

They turn down a long corridor, that only seems to get longer with every moment that passes. Finally, they reach an elevator. When one of the Sith warriors stand on the pressure sensor, they begin to move down. Down? That can’t be right. Surely they would be going up, to the direction of some stage or podium. The Sith would want her execution to be remembered. Nevertheless, they keep travelling down. The elevator comes to a smooth stop and they exit. 

Kara strains her neck to get familiar with her surroundings. From what she can see, there is equipment and other tables around her. Some droids are beeping away in the background. Are they going to torture her for information before they kill her? Shouldn’t they have done that yesterday? And what would be the point, if Lex can so easily gain access to her mind?

‘So many questions.’ Lex tuts. 

Before Kara can tell him to fuck off, he waves a dismissive hand at his sister and the two Sith guards follow him out of the room. 

Lex’s parting line is: ‘Be sure to have fun, Lena.’ 

Kara is left speechless, with Lena Luthor standing at her left staring down at her. 

‘Always with the dramatics.’ She murmurs, but there’s a fond edge to her tone. 

It makes Kara’s stomach roil and the back of her throat turn to bile. How anyone could feel any form of affection for that monster is absolutely beyond her. At least that monster is gone now, out of her peripheral vision and out of her mind. For now, anyway. 

‘I guess you’ll be wanting things explained to you.’ Lena admits. She sounds a tad bored. 

‘Not if you’re just going to kill me later.’ Kara spits out. 

Lena rolls her eyes. ‘God. You Jedis and your witty remarks.’ 

She steps out of Kara’s vision and then returns with—of all things—a clipboard. She ticks something off and puts it down on another table. 

‘We’re not going to kill you.’ She says, at last. ‘It would be a waste. Instead, you’re going to stay here and I am going to study you.’

Kara has such an intense wave of relief and relaxation once she hears Lena say that she isn’t going to be murdered that she barely pays attention to the rest of Lena’s spiel. Wait, studied? She’s going to be studied? Her confusion must register on her face, because Lena quirks a single eyebrow and says: 

‘Yes, you heard that right. Studied. Honestly, why it hasn’t been thought of earlier is beyond me. Force individuals’ connections to the Force have always been unique. Kryptonians, especially. You’re a virtual diamond mine just sitting strapped to a table and the brightest idea anyone had was to kill you. There’s so much we’re going to learn from you.’

Kara goes cold. ‘I won’t help the Sith. Directly or indirectly. You should have just killed me.’ 

Lena’s expression turns to stone. ‘You don’t have a choice.’ 

She turns around. When she returns, Kara feels something light and cold being pressed against her forehead. From the way it’s connected to her hairline, it must be some kind of neural transmitter. A way to study her brainwaves, maybe? 

‘Setting one.’ Lena says. ‘Vitals read normal. Heart rate spiked, but that is being considered as normal given the circumstances.’ 

‘Are we being recorded?’ Kara asks. 

Lena leans over her just enough so that Kara can see her blank and obvious stare. Of course we are, it says. Kara, in some moment of inexplicable embarrassment, feels sheepish and her skin get hot. 

A button is pressed—a beep resounds in the room, a different kind of beep to the one that the droids around them keep making. 

‘Setting two.’ Lena says. ‘Force levels are… Wait. Running diagnostics again. No, that’s correct. Force levels are low to moderate. Settling on low.’

There is a period of silence. The Sith can measure a person’s connection to the Force now? But that is internal, that is personal, that is sacred. How can something like that be measured, let alone categorised?

‘Are you sure you’re a Kryptonian?’ Lena asks, her confusion evident in her tone and on her face.

‘Yes.’ Kara snaps. ‘Of course I’m sure.’ 

‘Very odd.’ Lena murmurs. 

She seems to have a habit of that. Talking to herself like she forgets that Kara’s even there. Though, Kara supposes that she might has well not be, for all the good it’s doing her. It’s intriguing that Lena hadn’t thought to knock her out to run these tests. You don’t need to be conscious to record brain waves. 

‘I’m going to ask you some questions.’ Lena asks, suddenly. ‘To explain this.’ 

‘What am I explaining?’ Kara asks. She’s weary and wishes she could go back to sleep. 

‘Why your connection to the Force is so low.’ 

‘I don’t know. I’m sorry all of us can’t be as amazing and perfect as the Sith.’ 

‘I’m going to ignore that.’ Lena says. ‘Now, when was the last time you used the Force?’

‘At an alleyway in Dantooine. I force-pushed some bandits into a building. Maybe a week ago.’ 

‘How far?’

‘I don’t know. A few feet.’ Kara could lie, she realses. She could fake some reason as to why she’s apparently a terrible Force user. But then again, maybe it’s better to drag this out. She can’t risk Lena deciding to kill her because she was a terrible test subject. At least, having to undergo interrogation means that she’s won herself more time. Time is better than nothing. 

‘And before that?’

‘I can’t remember.’ Kara lies, but she can. It was back during her fight with Mortem when he had just killed Kal, or thereabouts. She was force-healing people before Alex marched her off to bed to get some rest. Not that they got much rest in the end, when the Sith returned with reinforcements. 

‘Hmm.’ Lena nods to herself, writes something down on her dumb clipboard. Then, she looks at something on her wrist. 

She walks out of the room, without further comment. 

‘Okay.’ Kara says, to apparently no one whatsoever. ‘I guess I just have to entertain myself now.’ 

Entertaining yourself when strapped to a table is quite difficult to do, but Kara manages. First, she tries to expend her energy by sending out Force messages to Eliza and Alex. Then, she decides that that might be a bad idea given that she still has that force-brain-wave reader thing still firmly attached to her head. 

So, she tries whistling. By the annoyed tapping on the glass, she’s annoying the Sith warriors that have been placed outside to guard her. Good. At least she can do some good, even if it’s just by annoying the underlings of the Empire. 

Pretty soon, she finds herself falling back asleep again. It’s fairly easy to do, especially when you’re given nothing else to do.  
———

Lena shakes her awake. Or rather, a pole that Lena is holding shakes her awake. 

‘What time is it? Kara asks, sleep making her voice thick. 

Lena shrugs. ‘I don’t see why it matters to you.’

Kara resists the urge to roll her eyes. ‘Thanks.’ 

‘I’m going to continue asking Force related questions.’ Lena says, as if Kara needs context and is not a prisoner with no place to go. ‘Were both of your parents Force users, not merely Force sensitive?’ 

‘Yes.’ Kara confirms. ‘Both were Jedi.’ 

‘Rankings?’ 

‘Guardian and Master.’ Kara feels the old twinges of grief in her chest. Surely, Lena must know that Kara’s parents are long dead. Yet she asked the question with such a cavalier sense of disregard. She just mustn’t care.

Kara longs to change the subject, talk less about her heritage and about her connection to the Force. She doesn’t see how she can regain control over this dynamic though, not with Lena being able to kill any chance Kara so much as pisses her off. Still, Kara knows she has some value. She’s a test subject. You can’t just up and kill a test subject, not unless the study is failing.

‘Can I ask you a question now?’ Kara says.

The silence that follows isn’t promising, but at least Lena didn’t outright say no.

‘Okay.’ It’s odd, that Lena agreed, but maybe she doesn’t envision Kara lasting much longer anyway. What’s the harm in telling some secrets to an almost-dead woman? 

‘How am I still alive? Like, not dehydrated and stuff?’ 

Lena lets out a little puff of air that might be an attempt at laugh or just simple surprise. ‘You have an IV in your arm.’ 

‘Which one?’ 

‘The right one.’ Lena says, like it’s obvious. ‘Oh. I suppose you can’t see it.’ 

‘I can’t.’

‘Next question. When did you first start using the Force?’

‘I think I was about three. I force-lifted some toys or something. I don’t really remember the story.’ Kara remembers the story in great detail, but Lena doesn’t need to know that. 

Lena nods. ‘Very young. Alright, your turn for a question.’

Kara feels a little shocked that Lena is so ready to allow balance to their arrangement, but she tries not to let it show.

‘How does that Force measuring thing work?’ 

Lena walks away, her voice floats across the room. ‘It’s hard to explain. I tested it on myself, ran some diagnostics. Figured out a way to make the machine that measures brainwaves actually look for Force connection. It’s there, you know, like an energy. It shows up as an energy source. If it can be tracked, it can be measured.’ 

At least that explains how the Sith found Kara so quickly. 

‘Wait.’ Kara says. ‘You invented this machine?’

‘Yes.’ Lena admits. ‘You’re the first person other than myself I’ve been able to test it on.’ 

‘Right.’ Kara tries to nod and then staunchly remembers that she can’t because of the strap holding her head in place. ‘Your turn.’ 

‘What is the longest time you’ve ever attempted a Force related combat move?’

‘I… don’t know. What do you mean?’ 

‘I mean like a force-push, choke or healing. How long have you been able to do it before you had to stop.’ 

‘Around fifteen minutes maybe?’ Kara is going off of old numbers, but surely Lena must already know that. The Sith would have found her years ago with she’d used the Force with anything near that kind of frequency. 

‘And how long did it take you to recover?’ 

They both jump when they hear a distant explosion. Kara’s heart races. What’s happening now? What kind of sick new invention have the Sith cooked up? Lena doesn’t react much though, aside from her initial surprise.

She clears her throat, when Kara neglects to answer. 

But Kara never gets to answer. With a loud crash, the door to the lab is ripped open. Kara can’t actually see it, but she assumes that that’s what happened because nothing else could make that kind of noise. 

She hears the distinct sound of a lightsaber being drawn. It must be Lena’s. Judging from the edge to her stance, she’s ready for combat. But she doesn’t leap ahead to fight whomever has just interrupted them. 

‘How did you get in here?’ Lena asks. 

There’s no answer. Kara can’t see what’s going on but she hears the distinct sound of two lightsabers being clashed together. Some objects thrown. A blaster going off. She hears Lena let out a sudden cry and then she must hit a wall or something because she stops making noise altogether. 

Wait, is this a rescue mission?

‘Alex?’ She calls out. 

‘Not her. But yes, she’s with me.’ An unfamiliar voice answers. 

Then, all of a sudden, Kara’s restraints are being untied. She’s being lifted off the table by a tall, blonde/brunette woman who is giving her a warm smile. Her lightsaber is still drawn and glowing a distinct light blue. 

‘Who are you?’ Kara asks, half in amazement and half in befuddlement. 

‘Sam Arias.’ 

‘Did you rescue me all by yourself?’

‘I had a little help.’ Sam admits. 

The help in question walk into the room thereafter. Kara recognises some of the faces. Eliza Danvers. James Olsen. Winn Schott. Alex. 

Kara tears the IV out of her arm and runs forward, first to hug Eliza and then Alex. 

‘This reunion is really touching.’ Winn says. ‘But we really need to get going.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Thank you to all those that have engaged with this, thus far.


	3. it is as if we have all been lowered into an atmosphere of glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from a poem by Anne Carson called 'Three.'

They end up on a transportation ship. It’s realistically too small a ship for the amount of people they’ve tried to stuff into it, but Kara limits her complaining. This entire band of people has specifically come to her rescue, so she can handle a few hours of discomfort. When they elevate high enough, Kara gets a lay of the land. Where exactly did the Sith take her? 

Nowhere, as it turns out. Dantooine settles clearly under her view. They must have taken her to one of their temporary prisons. Do they just cart Lena’s lab around wherever she does? They must. I guess being the youngest Sith Inquisitor comes with its perks, Kara thinks. 

‘Where are we going?’ She asks, when they push a little bit higher into the atmosphere. 

The answer comes from the cockpit, where Alex and Winn are sitting. ‘A secret base.’ 

‘Thanks, Alex.’ Kara says. ‘That was really helpful and specific.’ 

Before Alex can quip back, they hear the distant noise of a blast whizzing past the ship. Sam, who is near the back of the ship and looking out the observation window, turns back towards them. 

‘Sith fighter jets.’ She confirms. ‘There’s two coming up on the rear. Does this thing have firepower?’ 

‘I wish.’ Alex murmurs. Then says, a little louder: ‘this thing is fast, though. We’re going to need to jump—they shouldn’t be able to track us after that.’ 

‘Shouldn’t being the operative word.’ Winn reminds everyone. 

Kara has heard about Winn Schott. His father was an infamous Sith Warrior, known for being particularly ruthless and talented. Winn was supposed to be raised to become a Sith, or the equivalent if he wasn’t Force sensitive, but his mother smuggled him away before the Empire could get the chance. Rumour is they hunted his mother and killed her for betraying them. The rumours were usually right. In defiance of all that happened, Winn decided to use his intelligence to fight back against his father and join the Resistance. As Kara has heard it, over the years, he’s been integral to a few of their key survivals. 

Sam Arias, however, Kara knows nothing about. She’s obviously a Jedi and a skilled one at that, if she was able to beat Lena in combat. But where has she come from? And why, exactly, was she so involved in Kara’s rescue? Is the Resistance still that attached to the pillar of having a Kryptonian in their ranks? Yes, back in the day, her mother was a member of the Jedi High Council and a key figure for the Republic. But ‘back in the day’ is getting further and further away from the present, and surely it must carry less weight now. 

A jot to the aircraft brings Kara out of her reveries. She has no idea how Alex is going to get them out of this one. How exactly can you jump the whole ship when it’s under heavy attack and you can’t fight back? 

‘Hold on!’ Alex yells, then spins the ship in a 180 to avoid a swathe of oncoming blasts. 

‘Keep her steady!’ Sam responds, then outstretches her hand. 

Kara raises her eyebrows. Surely Sam isn’t about to try and force-control the Sith ships. Based on the strained expression on her face and the concentration that she displays shortly thereafter, apparently she is. 

‘Woo!’ James Olsen whoops, when one of the fighter jets swings wildly to the left. ‘You got it, Sam!’

The ship quickly corrects it course, though, and continues coming towards them. There is a shudder from their transportation ship when a blast hits its side. 

‘Shit.’ Sam closes her eyes. 

Kara thinks, just for a moment, that she can feel what’s happening before she sees it. There is something like a twinge over near Sam, something shifts. It’s like the Force has redirected to flow solely out of her and Kara can feel its effects. 

Then, she watches as one of the pilots of the fighter jets flies out of the cockpit and into the sky. Sam opens her eyes then, panting. There is a chorus of celebrations that the crew shout out when they realise what’s happened, but Kara is too stunned to join in with them. How did Sam hide her Force powers from the Sith? How did she not get captured?

‘I don’t think I can do that again.’ Sam announces.

‘We can make the jump with one tail, don’t worry.’ Alex reassures her. ‘Everyone take a seat or grab something.’ 

Kara secures herself by hanging onto a handle of a door. Everyone takes their positions. Alex swerves the ship suddenly to avoid an oncoming blast. Then, she engages the hyperdrive. Kara tries to focus, but it’s been so long since she’s travelled by hyperspace jump that she finds herself overwhelmed by the whole experience. Then, in a split second, it’s all over. They’ve jumped. They’re safe. At least for now, they won’t be followed.   
———

The Resistance base is on D’Qar or so Kara is told. Something about repurposing a Jedi temple that was left standing. It seems a little obvious to Kara at first, but Alex assures that it is a defendable base if it should come down to that. It will come down to that, Kara knows. The Empire is nothing if not doggedly persistent. 

They’re given a little time to rest and recuperate, so Kara watches everyone disappear from the base. It’s then that Eliza directs her to what will be her room for however long they can stay here. The room itself is small. It only has one single bed and a desk of some kind, but Kara is grateful for a bed she won’t have to fold up every time she thinks she is under attack.

‘It’s weird.’ Kara admits, as she takes a seat on the bed. ‘I think it’ll take a little getting used to. Being in one place.’

Eliza smiles, but its tinged with sadness. ‘Running is a hard habit to break. You’ll fit in here, though. Winn won’t stop talking about Kryptonians.’ 

Kara laughs. ‘Glad to know I’ve got a fan.’

Eliza shrugs. ‘From the way he talks, it sounds like he’s more of a fan of Kal. But I’m sure you can work your way into his good graces.’

Kara nods, a little taken aback by the mention of her cousin. It’s strange, to be back in the presence of those that did actually know him well. She could talk to Eliza about it, about being forced to relive the experience of his death, but she’s not sure she can find words for the heavy weight that has settled into her chest. There is nothing quite like the feeling of regret.

‘I’ll let you rest.’ Eliza promises, intuitive as always. 

Kara can barely manage another smile in thanks as she watches Eliza leave. She should feel happier to see them all, to know that she is out of the Empire’s imprisonment. Her head is too clouded, though. The adrenaline she felt from being freed has long worn off and now she is left only with the memories of the experience, of the torture. There’s no telling how much of her mind that Lex had been able to read. It’s only by sheer chance that Kara knows nothing about the Resistance plans, that she managed not to give it all away.

It could happen again, though. He could find them all here and invade. Just like last time. Only, unlike last time, there’s no collection of Jedi to defend the base. There are only a few talented individuals that will be able to hold their own against the Sith. Kara tries to slow her breathing and to fend off the panic that her thoughts ensue. Just because it happened before does not mean it will happen again. She won’t lose any more of her family, not while she’s still alive. 

Kara tries to lay down and recover, but her capture had meant she had spent all of her time laying down, so it’s not exactly comfortable. She finds herself too jittery for rest, anyway, so she decides to look around the room a little bit. She has a few sets of clothes stashed on the top of the desk. They’re not exactly new or stylish, but from the feel of them they will be comfortable and warm. That is all Kara really needs anyway, when it comes down to it. 

She opens both desk drawers and finds nothing. Odd, then, that they should give her a desk with drawers to begin with. As she steps away from the desk, she feels a slight pull back towards it. She stands in the middle of the room, brow furrowed. But the drawers were empty? She thinks. Why would they be calling me back?

The Force is nothing if not mysterious. Kara looks around the desk for some kind of hidden compartment. When she can’t find one, she sits on the floor to get a different view on things. Then she sees it. She crawls underneath the desk and presses her hand to the side of the drawers. A small, narrow compartment opens. 

Kara reaches her hand in and feels it bump against something cool and metallic. She pulls the oblong shaped object out and then stares at what she’s discovered. 

Eliza has kept Kal’s lightsaber; hidden away specifically for Kara. Kara is so overwhelmed by memories in that moment, holding onto her cousin’s lightsaber, that she’s holding back tears. Kryptonian lightsabers are not much different from regular ones, truth be told, except for the metal that their handles are made of. Platinum kryptonite was one of the rarest metals on the planet. It was supposed to give longevity to an Jedi holding it, but Kara isn’t too sure about how substantial that claim is. She was too young when Krypton was attacked to have become a Jedi of enough rank to ask the question. 

Kara reaches her other hand into the compartment, gambling on a feeling she has. Sure enough, her hand bumps into another cool and metallic object. As she pulls out her own lightsaber, she has a sense of coming home. The sense is so strong, and had been so long forgotten, that this time Kara does feel herself succumb to her tears. 

As she crawls out from under the desk, both lightsabers in hands, and stands up, she feels herself a little more at peace. Eliza used to tell her that grief was an ongoing wound that would never truly be healed, but that did not mean Kara could not function with grief still in her heart. She was right, as always, but Kara feels a little bit better knowing that she has two pieces of her homeland attached to her belt at each hip. She wipes away her tears and clears her throat.

Overcome by emotion, Kara feels it best to make herself useful. So, she makes her way back to the centre of the base. Head of operations, as it were. The only person she finds in the central room, shaped like a dome with several data sets and computers in the centre, is Sam Arias. Kara approaches her with a little wave, to let her know she’s coming over. Sam responds with a small smile. 

‘Everyone else resting?’ Kara asks. 

Sam shrugs. ‘I think so. In all likelihood, Alex and Winn are watching communications.’

Kara’s brow furrows. ‘Shouldn’t they be doing that in here?’

‘Winn invented a portable communication device. He hacked into Sith communications on nearby planets. We should be able to hear them coming, if they ever figure out that we’re here.’ 

‘Oh, good. I was worried about that.’ 

Sam nods. ‘Me too.’ 

Then, it appears that they abruptly run out of things to talk about. Kara focuses her gaze on the lightsaber in a sheath at Sam’s side. 

‘So, you’re a Jedi?’ Kara asks. 

‘A Jedi Knight.’ Sam confirms.

‘How long for?’

‘A couple of years.’ 

‘Who trained you?’ 

Sam gives a small, confused laugh. ‘A lot of questions you got there.’ 

Kara lets her posture relax and gives Sam an apologetic smile. ‘Sorry. I’ve been on the run for a while. I haven’t met another Jedi in ages.’ 

Sam nods, with understanding. ‘Yeah, I get it. There aren’t many left these days. I guess I would’ve thought that Kara Zor El would’ve known all this already.’ 

Kara shrugs. ‘I wasn’t privy to Jedi communications when I left. It was safer that way. After Kal… They didn’t want a repeat.’ 

‘Right. I was sorry to hear that.’ 

There’s no point in asking Sam exactly where the hell she was when the Jedi got attacked by the Sith, at that time. It’s quite possible that Sam was training to be a Knight and wasn’t allowed to join the fight, if she hadn’t passed her trails yet. Still, Kara feels the question niggle at the back of her mind. Years of automatic suspicion gives her a heightened sense of a story not matching up to what she’s being told. Still, she lets it go. No use in causing unnecessary friction, not right now. 

‘Yeah.’ Kara says. She wanders over to the computers, to have a look at exactly what they contain. At first glance, they look like battle plans. Then, Kara takes another, closer look. No, these are rescue plans.

‘Who were you trained by?’ Sam asks. ‘I heard you were too young when the Empire attacked Krypton to have been trained by the time you left.’ 

‘Another Jedi.’ Kara says. ‘Eliza found him. It took her a lot of time and effort. J’onn J’onzz.’

This is information that Kara can give away freely. Many people have asked, when they discovered her true identity, who had trained the last Kryptonian. J’onn was a good teacher, if not a little harsh. 

Sam winces. ‘Yeah, I heard about him. Such a shame. He would’ve been a great ally to have.’ 

Kara isn’t sure how to answer that. Sam approached this news—the news that Jedi are being and have been hunted by Sith—with sympathy, but distance. It’s like she hasn’t really been indoctrinated into the Jedi Order or learnt the names of high ranking Jedis. Who had trained her but not bothered to give her context into the history of those who used the Force before her?  
Kara doesn’t get a chance to further investigate, when Alex and Winn walk into the room. It’s strange to watch Alex exude any sort of confidence in this scenario. Kara, herself, feels like she’s looking in from the outside. She may be a Jedi, but she has been on the run for so long that it seems like people genuinely did believe she was a myth.

‘Rested enough?’ Alex asks the both of them. Her gaze lingers on Kara, though, and then at her two lightsabers. 

‘Yeah.’ Sam says. ‘Do we have a settled location on our next mission?’

‘Mission?’ Kara interrupts. 

‘We have a set objective here.’ Eliza answers, as she walks into the room with James. 

Kara looks at the tall man, but doesn’t see any evidence of a lightsaber. Sam and her must be the only Jedi left. 

‘Which is?’ Kara prompts, when nobody actually moves to give her a proper answer. 

‘Gather Force sensitive people.’ James supplies. ‘Intercept before the Empire has a chance to kill them. We keep them from getting harmed and get to restart the Jedi order, in a sense.’ 

Kara wants to ask how successful they’ve really been, given that the numbers at this base are so low, but stops herself. She doesn’t want to insult the team that just risked their lives to rescue her. 

‘Cool.’ Kara says, instead. ‘Do we know where to head off next?’ 

‘Corellia.’ Winn says. ‘We got reports that there’s supposed to be maybe three Fore sensitive people somewhere on that planet.’ 

‘Isn’t there a developing Empire base on that planet?’ Sam asks.

‘Yeah.’ Winn confirms. ‘But if we keep quiet, we should be able to get in and out without causing any trouble.’ 

‘Causing any trouble?’ Kara finds herself saying. 

The room hushes and Alex glances at her sister. Kara knows that her tone is stern, reprimanding and harsh, but she can’t stop herself. 

‘You want to leave an Empire base unharmed even though we know it’s location? You don’t want to, oh I don’t know, actually hit the Empire when we have the chance?’

Eliza watches her daughter struggle for a moment, before she speaks in a quiet and measured tone. ‘We simply don’t have the numbers. If we lose any one of you, it will greatly damage our efforts to rescue people. Even if you get injured, we won’t stand a chance if the Empire finds us here. I know it’s hard to swallow, but secrecy really is best.’ 

Kara feels her anger sour within her. It tastes bitter at the back of her throat, to take part in something that doesn’t want to bring down the Empire when they get the chance, but she does have to admit that she begrudgingly sees the logic. 

‘All right.’ She says. ‘Tell us the rest of the plan.’  
———

The rescue mission won’t begin until the morning, so Kara spends the day marking out where they can find new provisions on a map with Alex. She realises, then, that she must have been kept in the Empire prison for about a week. It’s enough time, anyway, for Alex to be infinitely more familiar with the Resistance team than Kara herself is. 

Alex has, so far, managed to tell her a little bit about everyone here. Kara still feels like an outsider, but it helps. Like her initial suspicions, Sam and Kara are the only Jedi on the team. However, both Alex and Winn are force sensitive. Alex has a higher degree of force sensitivity than Winn, she tells Kara, but it’s still not enough to actually use the Force in any situation. It’s more like having an attuned sense of danger. 

‘Not that you listen to it.’ Kara had quipped, at the time. 

James Olsen is just a regular human. A refugee wandering from planet to planet before he ran into Eliza and learned of her Resistance efforts. As a man with a strong sense of justice, it didn’t take him long to decide that he wanted to help bring down the First Order in whatever way he could manage.

Alex doesn’t talk much about Sam, especially not after Kara telling her that she already talked to Sam about being a Jedi. It’s a little odd, but Kara just puts it down to the fact that Alex hasn’t really had quite enough time to have organise heart to hearts with everyone on the team. Alex does tell her, though, that Sam is a mother. Her daughter Ruby lives on the base, even though Kara has never actually seen her there. 

‘It doesn’t seem like a safe place to keep a child.’ Kara had commented, thoughtlessly. 

Alex had given her a reproachful look. ‘She has nowhere else to go.’ 

That had made Kara feel sufficiently guilty for a while, but they soon got on with their information gathering. By the time night comes, Kara feels herself practically withered with exhaustion. It’s been a long time since she’s had to use the Force and her intelligent for that long. She’s become so accustomed to manual labour that it feels odd to stretch her mental muscles as well as her physical ones. 

She collapses into bed, barely managing to convince herself to change into something resembling pyjamas, and falls asleep a few seconds thereafter. She feels so tired that she imagines she might not even dream, a welcome reprieve from the nightmares. She is proven wrong, however, and the dreams come regardless. 

_She is back in the prison. She’s not tied to the table anymore. She’s standing in the middle of the room. The room has been in better shape. It looks like someone has taken a lightsaber to the tables and all the equipment in the room. The walls too, while not broken, have been slashed at with careless abandon. No, Kara looks closer, not abandon. Rage._

_The room is empty of people. though. She hears a sound behind her, like the sharp intake of breath, and turns around. But there’s no one there._

_‘What are you doing?’ She hears a voice say._

_‘What?’ She answers back. ‘Where are you?’_

_‘You can’t come back here.’_

_The voice distorts and twists. It’s like Kara is listening to something through an old radio. Then, she feels the floor give away. She plunges down, but strangely she doesn’t feel panicked. Instead, she feels herself go down and down forever. As if there’s no ground to get to._

Kara wakes up in a sweat. Based on the light coming in from the window on the far wall, dawn has just broken. Good timing. She needs to be up for the mission anyway. She gets out of bed and sets about getting ready.

Kara doesn’t even take the time to think about the odd dream until Sam, Alex, Winn and her are inside one of their small ships. James is to stay back and keep an eye on Sith communications with Eliza. When the other three people begin an easy conversation that Kara doesn’t know how to be a part of, Kara reflects on her night. 

Her dreams in and of themselves are always odd—projections of the past, twisted to fit her deepest emotions—so she’s not exactly worried. It is a little weird, though, to hear that voice and not know who it belonged to. Usually the voices in her dreams are Alura, or Kara herself. Some distant, begotten memory of a time on Krypton. Maybe that’s all it was, Kara decides, just a projection of different pieces of her memory. 

When they land on Corellia, Kara feels her old nerves start up again. Missions always made her nervous, back when J’onn would send her on a little trips to let her test her skills. He always used to say that she was too reckless, too angry. Jedi were supposed to be in control, he would remind her, control is the only thing that separates the Jedi from the Sith. Kara had been too young to argue, then, but she would argue now. What is wrong with anger if it is justified?

They make their way across the sand. They must have landed somewhere on the West, Kara assumes, in order to make their way in secretly. The team walks, silently, across the expanse of sand until they come to the edge of a green, lush hill. Winn holds up a hand to stop them. 

‘Hang on, guys.’ He says. He’s staring at a small handheld device that he’s holding. Kara isn’t close enough to him to get a look at it, and she doesn’t quite feel comfortable enough to peer over his shoulder (even if she could). 

‘What is it?’ Alex says, who does feel comfortable enough to peer over Winn’s shoulder.

‘It looks like the force sensitives are all in one place. They weren’t when we left this morning. This new Sith report says that they’re—‘

Winn doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because a blast zooms past them and into the grass. It just missed burning a hole in Winn’s back. Sam and Kara turn around at once, lightsabers drawn and held aloft. Then, they see them. 

The Sith are standing at attention. Two Warriors have their blood red blades drawn. Kara is more concerned about the Stormtrooper that stands in between them, in his black armour. He has an upgraded version of the standard Trooper gun, from the looks of it. 

‘Purge Trooper.’ Alex announces. ‘Sam, Kara. Take out the Warriors. Winn and I will handle the Trooper.’ 

There isn’t much time for argument, when another blast whizzes by. Alex takes out her blaster and fires a few retaliation shots at the Trooper. Sam heads up the hill first, blue blade deflecting shots from the Trooper as they come. Kara follows shortly thereafter, green and purple blades held casually at her sides. 

The Sith Warriors won’t rush to meet them, that’s not their way. Instead, they’ll pick their moment to strike just as Sam and Kara get within range and try to catch them off balance. Winn and Alex draw the Trooper’s attention away from Sam and Kara, with blasts of their own. Kara gets a quick look back towards Winn and realises he’s brought a gun. Good, it looks like they’ll need it. 

It isn’t until they get closer that Kara recognises the Warriors that they’ve run into. Bloodsport—Robert Dubois—is the first Warrior. Kara had heard tales about him, but has never faced him directly. With a warped sense of right and wrong, the Sith had taught him that he had a license to kill anyone who did not obey the Empire with absolute loyalty. The other is Scorcher, who’s full name Kara does not know. She is perhaps the most anti-Jedi imperialist that hadn’t ascended the ranks of the Sith. 

Sam gets to Scorcher first, managing to strike at her middle. Scorcher dodges, predictably, with a laugh. She says something about knowing the Jedi would run into her someday.

Kara reaches Bloodsport and dodges his strike at her head. He has a disadvantage, only holding one lightsaber, but that leaves his other hand free to use the Force. And he does use it. He tries to push her off balance with a force-pull, but Kara plants herself firmly in the ground and redirects her weight. When he tries again, she realises that Blloodsport doesn’t know who she is or he would have commented on it. Fading away into obscurity has its perks, then. 

When Kara slashes both of her lightsabers in a downward motion, with a little help from a force-jump, Bloodsport barely manages time to block. He is all aggression, Kara thinks, but no balance. She dislodges her lightsaber from their battle and slices at his middle. He steps back, giving her full ability to swipe at his head with Kal’s blade.

‘You are good.’ He says, grinning. ‘But you will fall to the Sith today.’

‘Not likely.’ Kara says and runs at him again. 

Kara’s slashes continue on in a barrage of attacks. If she can keep up her own aggression, then she should be able to beat him. She’s a little out of practice, but he doesn’t seem to think about his own defence, so wearing him down shouldn’t take too long.

Bloodsport manages to deflect every one of her blows, but it causes him to make his way down the hill. Kara places one well timed kicked to his knee and his balance crumbles. He falls to one leg, but still holds his lightsaber aloft. Kara slashes down again, but uses all her weight this time. He can’t help but let his own blade slip from his grasp, unable to keep up his defence against the force of her blow. She lets her purple lightsaber slide through his chest. 

She hears a yell downwind. When she looks up, quickly assessing that Sam has the better of Scorcher, she sees Alex and Winn cornered by the Purge Trooper. Kara makes her way down the hill and tries to approach at an angle where the Purge Trooper won’t see her. 

It doesn’t work. The Purge Trooper turns around almost instantly and fires a few warning shots at her. Kara deflects them easily, careful not to redirect them at Alex or Winn by accident. She force-pushes the Trooper off balance a little, and is given her opening. It takes two strikes to destroy the Trooper’s gun and another to slice his head clean off his shoulders.

‘You’re getting better.’ Alex comments. ‘Smoother, like you used to.’ 

Like in training, is what Alex means, but Kara takes the compliment at face value. Just as she is looking over the Trooper’s armour to see if there’s anything of use that they can take back to base, Sam makes her way down the hill. She looks injured, at first glance, but when Kara looks longer she realises that Sam is winded from the battle. 

‘You good? Alex calls.

Sam holds up a hand, a thumbs up. ‘Yeah, just tough. Haven’t fought a Warrior in a while.’ 

‘Did you take their weapons?’ Winn asks, suddenly. 

Kara turns back to him with a confused look on her face. ‘No? Why would we take their weapons?’ 

Winn shrugs. ‘They can’t repurpose lightsabers if they don’t have them.’ 

After a little discussion, they send Alex on a mission to get the lightsabers and throw them into Corellia’s West Ocean. That way they can’t feel too bad about taking them back to base, and the Sith can’t use them unless they find them. 

The rest of the team makes their way up various hills and through a few valleys. Winn suspects that there is a settlement somewhere nearby that houses the Force sensitives. They find a small farm after a little bit of walking. Kara tries not to think about what happened last time she set foot on a farm. 

The door opens, albeit hesitantly, and a young man steps out. He closes the door behind him. 

‘How can I help all of you?’ He asks. 

‘Oh. Um.’ Winn fumbles, clearly having nothing prepared.

Sam fishes something out of her pocket and hands it to them. ‘Does this mean anything to you?’

Sam has handed the young man a piece of cloth with the Republic’s symbol on it. Before Kara can object, and say that Sam may very well have blown their cover and their entire operation in one sitting, the young man relaxes and clears his throat.

‘So, you are real.’ He says. ‘I thought it was a myth. Give me a moment.’ 

Without any further statements, he goes back inside and closes the door. The team looks amongst themselves, befuddled. Just as Winn raises his hand to knock again, the young man reappears with a woman roughly his age. 

The young man closes the door behind them. ‘Where is your ship?’

‘Uh.’ Winn gestures behind them. ‘Somewhere over there.’ 

‘Okay.’ The young man nods. ‘Take us to the Resistance.’

Sam laughs. ‘Sure. Just let us your names first.’

‘My name is Querl Dox.’ He gestures to the woman beside him. ‘This is Nia Nal.’


	4. you whispered words forbidden (to see if I’ve been listening)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from 'Wild Heart' by Mumford and Sons. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to engage with this work, it's great to know some people are enjoying this as much as I am.

_The wall cracks and crumbles under the pressure. Kara lets both her hands come down to her sides, grinning triumphantly. The broken remains of the wall settle on the cave floor, dust dispersing into the atmosphere._

_Kara covers her mouth to cough. ‘I did it!’_

_J’onn Jonzz provides little more than a small nod, in the way of encouragement. Kara uncovers her mouth and pouts, but it does little good. Her Jedi Master has little to give her in the way of facial expressions. She’s adjusted to that, though it was difficult when they first started training, but one of these she’s going to make the damn alien smile._

_Instead, he gestures for her to try again. She knows what this means. There’s no destruction without consequences. Now she has to deal with the consequences of the broken wall. She concentrates, right hand outstretched, and lets each little piece of rubble float in the air. She has only managed to move about half of them, watching as they make their way through the air, pulled by the Force._

_She makes a little pile to their left, out of the way of them and any animals that might happen past and want access to the entrance she’s just made. She’s starting to sweat with the effort it takes to move all the little rocks. It’s not a good sign, or a good look. She’s much stronger than this, too, or at least she thinks she is. She moved a mountain yesterday (a little) and now she’s exerting herself move a few little rocks?_

_She feels disappointment swell within her. So much for her Kryptonian connection to the Force. The little rocks and rubble waver in the air, as they make their way to the pile. One drops on the ground. Then another, and another. Oh great, Kara thinks, I’m failing at moving rocks. She drops the rest out of sheer frustration and throws her hands up in the air._

_‘This is ridiculous!’ She declares. ‘I don’t know why this is so hard.’_

_J’onn gives her maybe the barest hint of a smile and shakes his head. ‘It’s not a sprint, Kara. Your connection with the Force is a marathon. Every day you connect with the Force you will improve your abilities. You shut the Force out for a long time.’_

_‘Not by choice.’ Kara reminds him._

_J’onn assesses her. ‘I never said it was.’_

_Kara looks back the rocks, then at her hands. She can’t fail, not at this. She is the last Kryptonian. She has to make that title worth something._

When Kara wakes up, it takes a little time to place where exactly she is. It’s usually like this, when she has dreams of her past. Her mind has compartmentalised so much of her life into neat little boxes that she finds it leeches into her subconscious. She is back at the Resistance base. Based on the amount of light shining into the room, it must be roughly midmorning. It’s odd that Alex would let her sleep in this much, but Kara isn’t about to count her blessings. 

Kara was trained by J’onn when she thirteen. That was when her connection to the Force became so strong and unstable that Eliza had gone to great lengths to find her a teacher. Alex hadn’t understood at first. She’d said it was too dangerous to justify doing. Kara wonders if Alex still stands by that statement. After three years of training, Kara discovered Kal-El. She lost him, then J’onn. Hiding seemed to be the right course of action, and there was nobody who was going to argue with a woman who had just lost the remnants of her world the second time. She wasn’t expecting Alex to volunteer to go with her, but Alex had.

There is something to be said for the loyalty between sisters, even if not of the same blood. Alex had been around too many Resistance members and hadn’t developed a healthy dose of fear to go with her sense of justice, Eliza had argued, but her mother had let her go. Just like that, Kara flew away from almost all of the people she’d come to call home. She’d spent the first year of hiding being swallowed by grief and the need to survive. Alex had been understanding and had picked up a lot of the slack, but Kara’s immobilisation by grief could not last forever if they really were trying to avoid capture by the Empire. So Kara pulled herself out of it, bit by bit, like pulling glass out of a deep gash in her hand. 

But she survived, Kara reminded herself when the waves of grief came lapping back in her mind, and she had no intention of going anywhere for a while. 

Kara gets up from her bed and pulls on some kind of a respectable outfit. The two newbies they picked up yesterday would likely have a lot of questions about who their rescuers are and Kara would like to be present for whatever narrative Alex intends to whip up to explain that. Will Alex go with the truth? It’s a possibility, but not a certainty. Kara knows Alex too well to think that she’ll jump headfirst into recruitment without having a staunch vetting process.

When Kara clips her two lightsabers to her belt, she pauses. She can hear a slight whispering at the back of her mind. Is that the Force? She wonders if she’s just shut herself off from it for so long that she forgot what the Force sounds like, when you can feel it well enough. She takes a few steps out of the room, completely wrapped in the small little whispers of energy that she can hear—like a sound coming from a few rooms away. 

She’s so distracted, in fact, that she walks right into one of the newbies.

Nia Nall jumps immediately into several apologies. ‘I’m so sorry!’

Kara gives her a beaming smile. ‘No, it’s my fault. I was the one not looking where I was going.’ 

Nia shakes her head. ‘Don’t be silly! I’m sure Kara Zor El always knows where she’s going.’ 

Kara freezes, hands at her lightsabers on instinct. ‘Wait. How do you know who I am?’ 

Nia’s brow furrows in confusion, her eyes are drawn to Kara’s defensive stance. ‘I mean—the lightsabers? That’s Kryptonian metal. I’m a bit of a metallurgy nerd. I saw it when we got on the ship and again when you drew the purple lightsaber. Purple’s not a common colour, you know.’

‘Oh.’ Kara relaxes. ‘You know that’s Platinum kryptonite?’

‘I mean.’ Nia gives a little shrug. ‘I guessed. You do know you’re famous, right?’ 

Kara nods. ‘Yeah, I did pick up on that.’

Alex walks down the corridor and greets them both with a small wave. ‘I thought I heard you.’ 

‘We were… chatting.’ Kara says. ‘Is everyone else up?’

Alex raises an eyebrow. ‘The rest of us didn’t need as much beauty sleep.’

Kara guffaws. ‘Alex!’

Alex tries to hide her smirk as she turns around, but Kara sees it anyway. Alex leads them into the central room, where the rest of their Resistance club is already gathered. Which includes Querl, Kara notes, with a wary eye. 

‘Welcome, everyone.’ Eliza begins. ‘We had a close call yesterday, so we’re going to lay low for a little while. Luckily, we have plenty to keep us occupied. James and Winn will monitor communications to see where our next Force sensitives will be coming from. Alex, I want you to assemble plans for refuelling and restocking missions. We can’t stay alive if we don’t have any food. Sam and Kara, I want you to train Querl and Nia.’

Kara feels herself move forward, as if moving in slow motion, towards Eliza. ‘You want us to what? How do we even know that they’re on our side?’

Sam puts a hand on Kara’s shoulder. ‘We have a protocol. They passed.’

Kara looks at her and shrugs off her hand. ‘What protocol?’ 

Sam smiles, in what she must think is support. ‘Mandatory mind reading. I did it myself. They’re clean.’ 

‘You what?’ Kara asks, thrown into more confusion than she thought possible in this scenario. ‘You just invaded their minds and made sure they weren’t working with the Sith.’

‘Essentially, yes.’ Sam admits. ‘But they gave me consent. They understood that that was the price of joining the Resistance.’ 

Kara can’t explain her anger. It’s like it’s travelling through her veins, being pumped out of her heart. The truth is she isn’t really angry at Sam, she’s angry at the situation. How could they let get to this place? With maybe seven people against the entire Empire they don’t stand a chance. They need lightsabers, they need support. How could she let the Empire win on Coruscant? How could she let them kill so many Jedi and then run away afterward?

‘Resistance?!’ Kara shouts. ‘What Resistance? You and I are the only Jedi around! Probably the only Jedi left! What Resistance can there be if there aren’t any Jedi?’ 

Kara doesn’t realise Eliza has stood between Sam and Kara until she speaks. 

‘That’s why I need you to train them.’ Eliza says, as if Kara isn’t broiling with rage. ‘Build more Jedi. Build the support you need.’ 

Kara blinks back angry tears and exhales sharply. ‘I can’t teach. I barely got taught.’

‘You’re the last Kryptonian.’ Eliza smiles, calm and with absolute confidence. ‘I’m sure you’ll think of something.’ 

She touches Kara’s shoulder briefly as she walks back to the centre of the room. Kara feels Eliza’s calm seep into her. Kara concentrates on the floor and lets her anger dissipate with her breaths. She slows down her breathing, counts between inhales and exhales until she feels control re-enter her body. When she looks back up to gauge Sam’s expression, she’s shocked to see Sam appear rattled. Perhaps a little frightened. 

‘Alright.’ Kara sighs. ‘I guess we’ll rebuild the entire fucking Jedi.’ 

‘We might as well try.’ Sam says, hand toying with the hem of her shirt. 

After a short pause of awkward silence, everyone goes off to their respective sections of the base. Eliza takes Sam, Kara, Nia and Querl to a training room. It’s old and more than a little dusty, but Kara supposes that she’d rather have a training room than none at all. She feels guilty for her anger, guilty for letting it get the best of her, but she can’t have another outburst of strong emotion. Querl and Nia will have no confidence in her as a teacher if she doesn’t show a modicum of control. 

So, she breathes and stands in the centre of the training room. She breathes, then smiles, and asks them what they already know about the Force. She breathes and tries to slow down the thumping of her heart that seems to tell her that she can’t be a teacher.

Sam takes the lead shortly after Nia and Querl are done explaining their understanding of the Force. She’s a good teacher, Kara notes, encouraging and understanding. If Nia and Querl don’t understanding something she’s trying to explain, she tries going about it another way. Kara sees little flashes of the way she interacts with Ruby in the way she interacts with the new recruits. It seems to be working, too, because the entire group relax and begin to see how this could all work. Kara, herself, begins to see just a little flash of possibility. They could rebuild the Jedi Order, they really could.  
———

The training finishes after a few hours. Nia and Querl don’t yet show a whole lot of potential in actually being able to use the Force, but it is only the first day. Nia, in particular, seems disappointed at her lack of innate skill. Kara takes the time to remind her that it’s rare that anyone gets anything right on the first try. They have time to learn, Kara says, even though the team doesn’t. Not really. 

Kara runs into James as she’s looking for Alex in the control room. She asks James if he’s seen her sister, but he says he hasn’t. So, Kara finds herself chatting to him, sitting on some chairs together like old friends. 

‘When did you join the Resistance?’ Kara finds herself asking. 

James shrugs. ‘A few years ago. My family believed in staying out of trouble, keeping to the outskirts. My mother always used to tell me that the greatest trait I could develop was being unnoticeable.’

Kara nods. ‘I can understand that. These are dangerous times.’ 

‘Yeah.’ James agrees, then chuckles. ‘My mum would so worried if she could see me now.’

‘What planet is she on?’

James pauses. ‘Oh. She died. A while ago.’ 

‘I’m so sorry.’ Kara says, putting her hand on James’s arm in a display of sympathy. Truth be told, there’s something familiar about James. Something dependable, something solid. 

‘It’s okay.’ James assures her. ‘I suppose there’s no point asking how _you_ joined the Resistance.’ 

Kara gives him a rueful smile. ‘Not unless you want to hear a rehashing of story you’ve probably heard before.’ 

James laughs and then they both sit in silence. James appears to be watching some radio waves on a screen fluctuate, but Kara is certain he isn’t actually concentrating on them.

‘I knew Kal, you know.’ James says. ‘Briefly. He saved my life—and my sister’s.’ 

The rush of emotion almost brings Kara to tears, but she holds back. ‘I-I didn’t know that.’ 

James shrugs. ‘Not many people do. I’m sure he saved a lot of people.’ 

‘He did.’ Kara nods. ‘I know he did.’ 

‘He was really brave.’ 

‘Too brave.’ Kara murmurs. ‘He was too brave.’

‘Probably.’ James agrees. ‘I'm sorry—that I brought him up.’  


Kara manages a watery smile. ‘Don’t be. I’m always glad to know that there are people who remember him—remember us.’ 

Still, she can’t keep talking about this. Her hands are shaking and she can’t get a hold of the weight that is climbing up her throat at the mention of her family. 

‘Sorry. I-I think I might know where Alex is.’ Kara breathes out.

James lets her go, even if it’s clear to him that Kara is just looking for an excuse to leave. James is clearly another person who understands loss, in a profound way. 

Kara makes her way to her room and closes the door. She leans against it and tries to keep the tears from falling out of her eyes. It doesn't work. All this interaction with people is taking its toll, all the expectation. Then there’s the constant explanation to contend with. She hasn’t had to talk anyone about any of this, not this frequently, not since Alex. She had grown shallow closures over her wounds, in becoming someone else. 

She sits on the edge of her bed and counts her heartbeats. She tries to reach out with the Force to see where Alex is, but she can’t find her sister. Kara lets out a frustrated breath and tries again. Again, no success. Kara puts it down to her emotions running too high to get a proper handle on the Force. So, she lays back. Tries not to think about her cousin and fails. She feels the world drift away, piece by piece and feels herself fall into something like sleep. 

_Kara finds herself standing in a blank room. No, she reconsiders, not a blank room. More like an empty space, like an empty void._

_‘Hello?’ She finds herself saying, as if there’s anyone else in here._

_As Kara looks around she finds herself to be the only occupant of this small, shallow place. It’s like a suspension of all things, of all matter, and it’s as if she’s floating. Waiting for something to connect her to the ground. Then, she sees her._

_Lena Luthor is standing in front of her, confusion evidence in the furrow of her brow and the set of her jaw._

_‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Lena asks, arms crossed._

_Kara finds herself shrinking, just a little, as if she’s found herself caught going through someone’s private things._

_‘I—don’t know.’ Kara admits, for wont of nothing else to say. ‘I just… found myself here.’_

_The scoff Lena gives at that is clearly audible, even if they are what seems like miles apart. ‘Likely story. Look, I don’t need you getting in my head. Not after today. I suggest you cease whatever you’re trying to do before someone else realises.’_

_‘Trying to do?’ Kara repeats, finding herself crossing her own arms to match Lena’s posture. ‘I don’t even know what happened. I’m just… here.’_

_Lena presses her lips together and then gives a lifeless smile. ‘Convenient.’_

_Kara narrows her eyes. ‘How do I know you’re not the one who weaselled your way in… here.’_

_Lena raises both her eyebrows in amusement. ‘That’s the argument that you’re going with? That I suddenly found you knee deep in the Sith research labs?’_

_‘Wait. You can see me there?’_

_Lena pauses then, her amused facade cracking. ‘You mean you aren’t—‘_

_‘All I can see is a void.’ Kara gestures around them. ‘Nothing, except you.’_

_‘Odd.’ Lena mutters, more to herself than Kara. ‘Very odd.’_

_‘Yes, I’m aware of that.’ Kara breathes a sigh of frustration. ‘Look, I don’t know how or why this is happening—‘_

_Kara can distantly hear a door being opened, the airlock shutting off as the hydraulics whir. Lena turns around and seems to be trying to gesture for Kara to leave, if the hand waving at her is anything to go by._

_‘Lex.’ Lena says. ‘What is it?’_

_Kara feels her heart rate spike. Can he see her too? Is she in danger, even though she can’t see or hear anyone else but Lena? Has this been a trap along._

_‘Of course. I’ll get those reports to you, right away.’ Lena says, to whatever Lex must have told her._

_Then, Kara can feel herself fading out. Like waking up from a dream, she sees her surroundings come back to her—the bedroom, the window, her blankets—going from fuzzy and indistinct to utter clarity. As her environment becomes visible again, Lena vanishes._

‘Weird dream.’ Kara mutters, as she rubs the sleep from her eyes.

Her subconscious isn’t unknown to through random people into her dreams—she once had a whole series of dreams about a random bandit woman who she’d only met once—but throwing Lena Luthor into the mix gives her a strange flutter in her stomach. Nauseous almost, but most definitely nerves. 

It’s dark outside, Kara notes, as she looks to the window in her room. She’s felt like she’s slept for hours, though, so she sits up and considers her options. She finds herself wandering, still dressed in her sleeping clothes, back into the control room. She finds Sam sitting at the desk with one of the radio trackers on it, next to small girl. 

‘Um. Hi.’ Kara waves, so as not to frighten them. 

Not that it works. Sam whirls around in the direction of her voice, spine straight and shoulders up. She relaxes, but only slightly, when she sees that it’s Kara.

‘Can’t sleep?’ Sam asks.  


Kara nods and wanders a little closer to them. ‘Yeah. Nightmares.’ 

It feels like it might be admitting too much, giving Sam another reason to think of Kara as unstable and untrained, but Sam softens just a touch at the admission. 

‘Same.’ Sam admits, gesturing towards the young girl. ‘That’s Ruby, by the way. Ruby, this is—‘ 

‘Kara Zor El.’ Ruby finishes for her, shock and awe evident in her tone and the way she’s sitting so far forward in her chair she looks like she’s about to fall out of it. 

Kara smiles. ‘Hi. Nice to meet you.’ 

Ruby offers her hand to shake and Kara shakes it (albeit with a little laugh). Sam is smiling and watching Ruby with the fondest expression that Kara feels her chest tighten. 

‘She’s your daughter.’ Kara says. ‘Alex mentioned.’

‘Yeah.’ Sam nods. ‘She’s pretty cool.’ 

‘Mum.’ Ruby says. ‘Can I ask Kara to show me her lightsaber?’

Sam shakes her head. ‘I don’t think now’s the time. Besides, you can’t ask every Jedi you see if you can hold their lightsaber.’

Ruby pouts, but accepts the answer. ‘But they’re so cool.’ 

Kara grins. ‘Tell you what. Next time I have my lightsaber on me and you’re out and about, I’ll show you. I have two, actually, you can hold one if your mum says yes.’ 

‘You have two?!’ Ruby bursts out, barely containing her explosive excitement. ‘How did you get two?!’

Sam outright laughs then. Kara tries very, very hard not to, but can’t contain a few giggles. 

‘One was my cousin’s.’ Kara says. ‘He passed, so I keep his lightsaber as a memory of him. A keepsake.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ Ruby says, and she seems genuinely sad to have brought up Kal. 

‘It’s okay.’ Kara says, gently. ‘I think it’s important to talk about the people that we’ve lost. So we can always remember them.’

‘I used to have a Dad.’ Ruby blurts out. ‘He died fighting the Empire. That’s what Mum said.’ 

Sam’s expression grows a little more taunt, but she nods. ‘Yeah. He did.’ 

Kara gives Sam an empathetic smile. ‘He sounds like a real hero.’ 

‘He was.’ Ruby confirms. 

Alex clears her throat, behind them, and approaches quietly. ‘Sorry to interrupt. Sam, the blinds are fixed. You can get Ruby back to bed and not worry about being seen now.’ 

Sam relaxes instantly at the sight of Alex. ‘Thanks, Alex.’ 

Alex shrugs. ‘Don’t worry about it.’ 

The instant change in Sam’s posture ,and the fact that the tension just dissipated right out of the room, has Kara trying not to narrow her eyes in suspicion. Alex is staying up late at night to fix something for Sam and Ruby? It’s not inherently suspicious, Alex is a helpful person, but the way Alex and Sam both seem to react to this gesture suggests to Kara that there is something more going on. 

Kara files away this interaction to overanalyse later, as Sam and Ruby say their goodnights. Alex takes Sam’s seat and pokes Kara in the shoulder once she looks at Kara’s expression. 

‘Stop making your suspicious face.’ Alex says. ‘We can trust Sam.’

‘I’m not making a face!’ Kara argues. 

Alex rolls her eyes. ‘Sure.’

‘What are you doing up? Besides playing handyman.’

‘Decrypting a droid.’ Alex explains. ‘Or what’s left of one. I found it on the Purge Trooper, while you were getting the new recruits back to the ship.’

‘Anything good?’

‘Define good.’ Alex sighs. ‘We found out some menial information. Lena Luthor telling some other Siths where to set up camps to mine certain materials. Looks like they’re trying to build more equipment. Something about internal overlays and heat redistribution. I’ve never heard of the Sith being so innovative.’

‘I think it’s Lena.’ Kara says. ‘She said it would be a waste to kill me because I was a data-mine of information for the Sith.’ 

Alex makes a disgusted face. ‘Fuck. That’s so—‘

‘Weird. Yeah, I know.’ 

‘Anyway, there was a message from Lillian. I don’t know what to do with it.’ 

Kara stares at Alex and waits for her to say more. When she doesn’t, Kara pokes Alex in the shoulder. 

‘Come on.’ Kara says. ‘Don’t leave me with all this suspense.’ 

Alex laughs, then sobers. ‘Lillian Luthor is hunting you and other Jedi.’

‘Well, we knew that already.’ 

‘She mentioned capturing Kelly Olsen. A known Resistance supporter.’

‘Olsen? As in James’ family?’

‘Could be. I don’t know. I can’t tell him, just in case he is her family.’

‘What?’ Kara laughs, in complete disbelief.

‘We don’t have the resources to rescue her.’ Alex admits. ‘We can’t break into the Empire and save her, not with the amount of people we have left.’ 

‘So we just leave her to die.’ Kara says, feeling that desperate and hopeless feeling crawl back into her chest. 

Alex puts a hand on Kara’s shoulder. ‘Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t go there. I said we can’t rescue her ourselves, that doesn’t mean we can’t do anything.’ 

‘What do we do then?’

‘You are going to go to bed.’ Alex says. ‘You have more training to do in the morning, Teach. I’m going to use Mum’s code to try transmitting messages. See if there are other Resistance bases out there that are closing to where they could be holding Kelly. Someone’s gotta try and get her out.’ 

Kara nods. ‘Okay. Keep me updated.’

They say goodnight. Alex makes Kara promise that she will actually get some sleep and not torture herself with this new information all night. Kara agrees, but it feels a little like lying. Still, she heads off to bed like she should.

She lies there for what feels like hours, willing sleep to come. It seems to refuse, though. Kara’s nerves are jangled with the news of Kelly Olsen being out there somewhere, hoping for a saviour. Kal would have flown into every Sith base trying to find Kelly. He would have not slept until he rescued every prisoner of the Empire and brought them back to their houses. But Kal died, Kara reminds herself, all the world is left with is her. Kara can’t be a saviour, she can’t afford to. 

Every time Kara has privileged her own safety over others, she has this sick feeling in her stomach. She feels slick with guilt, like mud, encasing her body. She could be a saviour, as was the motto of her people. She could try and rescue Kelly. Stronger together, her family used to say. Stronger together, Kara had repeated, and then ran away and spent eight years purposefully alone.

Sleep finds Kara then, right in that fit of guilt. She feels her eyelids grow heavy and she submits to the call—anything is better than the emotions that roil within her. 

_Kara finds herself walking down a murky path. Black and, somehow, also foggy. Still, she keeps walking on. She feels something calling to her, like if she keeps walking she’ll find something important. She turns left, for no reason other than something seems to be telling her to, and keeps walking.  
_

_Then, a figure comes into focus. Kara had only see the back of them—clothed in black fabric._

_Kara watches as Lena turns around and jump about five feet in the air.  
_

_She glares in Kara’s general direction. ‘Fuck. Do you mind?’_

_Kara holds her hands out and shrugs. ‘It’s not like I know how to appear here.’_

_‘Plausible deniability.’_

_‘It’s the truth.’_

_‘Mm-hm.’ Lena is holding some papers and rifles through them. ‘What do you want? I’m not going to spill all my dark Sith secrets if that’s what you’re after.’_

_‘I’m not after anything.’_

_Lena quirks an eyebrow, but her expression remains unamused. ‘Then go away.’_

_‘You know I should be the one telling you to go away.’ Kara points out._

_‘Should you now?’_

_‘Well, yeah. Considering this is my dream. I really need to figure out why my subconscious wants me to have petty arguments with you. Revenge for kidnapping me, maybe?’_

_Lena pauses, some explanation turning in her mind that she refuses to show on her face. Kara can feel it, though, the confusion. As if it’s palpable. As if it’s right in front of her, but unable to grasp._

_‘A dream?’ Lena asks. ‘You think this is a dream?’_

_Kara feels a jolt in her chest, a slight, and feels herself flush from embarrassment. She is not going to let this dream incantation of Lena speak to her like she’s an idiot. Kara is a Kryptonian, a Jedi, and a damn good one at that._

_‘Obviously this is a dream.’ Kara says, slowly. Like Lena is the real idiot. ‘I’m asleep.’_

_The confusion is evident on Lena’s face now. It’s like she’s trying to solve some kind of equation in the middle of this conversation. She purses her lips and uncrosses her arms. Then, she’s tapping a finger on her thigh, deep in thought._

_‘This only happens to you when you’re asleep.’ Lena mutters._

_Irked that Lena seems more inclined to talk to herself than Kara, in this random and frustrating situation her mind has thrown Kara into, Kara feels her anger spike. The edge of her pulse quickens._

_‘I don’t even know what this is!’ Kara shouts, then calms. ‘So, I would like it if you stopped pretending that I should.’_

_‘God, Kara.’ Lena has the gall to roll her eyes. ‘You really are a terrible Jedi.’_

_‘Thanks.’ Kara feels her hands curl into fists._

_‘We have a Force connection.’ Lena points out, like it’s obvious. ‘I just can’t figure out why.’_

_‘A what?’ Kara blurts out, as if she doesn’t understand everything that Lena is saying._

Kara feels herself drift away from Lena, forcibly this time and of her own will. Her surroundings snap back into focus and she tries her best to stop her hands from shaking. When did she develop a Force connection with Lena fucking Luthor?


	5. ransom notes keep falling out your mouth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is from hide and seek by Imogen Heap. 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone for commenting, I try to get around to replying to everyone's comments but if I don't, I still really really value hearing what y'all think of the latest chapter.

To say that Kara doesn’t know what to do with her Force connection to Lena is somewhat of an understatement. She spends an entire day in such a complete daze, all through the restocking mission, that Alex ends up asking Kara several times if she’s up for it. The mission itself is easy—they don’t even run into any hostiles, if you don’t count the wildlife—but Kara cannot bring her mind away from the past.

As they return back to base, on what has now been dubbed Alex’s ship, Kara sits by herself in silence yet again. 

How long has Lena known about this Force connection? It has to have been at least since Kara’s capture and subsequent escape. It certainly explains the odd dreams, that have turned out to not be dreams at all. She doesn’t seem angered by the connection, though, as other Sith might be. Kara can’t imagine that it would be great for morale if someone discovered that Lena has a connection to a Jedi. 

Then again, Kara thinks, maybe the Sith would look at something like this as an advantage. Maybe they think they can use the Force connection to pinpoint Kara’s location, or at least get some further intel into the Resistance’s plans. 

Kara feels her throat tighten up. Maybe it is all just some horrible trick—not a twist of fate. Before Kara can let herself get too panicked about the possibilities, she forces herself to take stock. This connection isn’t one-sided. If all Kara can see is Lena, then it’s likely that all Lena can see is Kara. No backgrounds, no locations, no inner thoughts. Considering their connection is only currently ignited in Kara’s sleep, it’s unlikely Lena would learn anything all that integral about the team’s location anyway. 

Kara calms herself down with platitudes until they land at their base. Alex nudges Kara with her elbow as she walks past. It’s the usual kind of non-verbal Alex signal. An ‘are you okay’ jab here, a ‘pay attention’ nudge here. Kara manages to give Alex a smile when their eyes meet. Alex nods, seeming to believe that Kara is, in fact, not losing her mind that this very moment. 

The thing is, Kara ponders, as they grab bottles of water and gather around the control room, Alex really is the first person Kara would go to about things like this. Anything Force related, anything Kryptonian related and Alex seemed to have the answer. Or, at least, if she didn’t have the answer initially, she would work her ass off trying to find it. But Kara knows that she can’t mention this to anyone. Not yet. Not without knowing more about how this connection came about or exactly what it means. Kara has only heard about Force connections in passing, she’s never been around someone who actually experienced it. Alex would flip, anyway, if she knew a Sith could somehow gain access to Kara’s mind and/or body whenever they felt like it. It would not be a productive conversation. 

So, Kara resolves to keep the entire debacle a secret. It makes Kara feel somewhat ill. She was never the best at keeping secrets, not from her family anyway. Hiding out under a completely different identity is different to actively deceiving the people that you trust the most. As Alex explains to the group exactly how many rations and refills they have left, Kara tries her best to concentrate. 

Her eye is caught by Sam, though. Sitting at the farthest fringes of the control room, on a metal chair, Sam appears not to paying much attention either. While her face is turned towards Alex and is actively watching her move, her expression doesn’t seem to change no matter what Alex actually says. Compare that with Winn’s wildly over expressive face and it’s as if Sam is a statue and not a person. 

When Alex finishes her spiel, everyone shifts in their seats. James and Winn get up and head towards the training room, citing something about needing to get some exercise. Alex sits, watching a communication monitor flicker with activity. Eliza heads off to the kitchen, telling Sam that she’s going to cook something with Ruby. 

Sam nods, but only barely. Her eyes are now fixed on the floor. Kara finds herself sitting forward in her chair, completely transfixed by the odd behaviour that Sam is exhibiting. Sam might be acting this way because she’s sensing something in the Force—a disturbance or a shift—but if Sam is feeling it so strongly that she isn’t concentrating then Kara would have definitely felt it herself. Kara can’t feel anything, though, so it can’t be that.

Before Kara can theorise any further, Sam rolls her shoulder as if waking from a dream. She catches Kara staring and offers her a small, polite smile. Kara tries to control the feeling of bafflement that must be seeping into her facial expression as she watches Sam head off in the direction of the kitchen. 

What the fuck was that?   
———

Kara spends the next few days trying to covertly learn more about Force connections. As it turns out, Querl is the one who knows the most about it. Querl—or Brainy, as he prefers to be called—tells Kara that Force connections were fairly common in his culture, so he has a fair amount of general knowledge. 

Originally, Kara had not intended to go around to everyone and ask them, point blank, what they knew about Force connections. Originally, she thought she could look at some texts that might be at base and try her best to recall if her mother ever mentioned them when Kara was little. As it turned out, there were no texts at base. Sacred texts emit a small amount of Force energy themselves, so Eliza felt it was too dangerous to keep them at the base she intended to inhabit. A smart decision, really, but an inconvenient one now. J’onn had never spoken about Force connections during Kara’s training and Kara, unaware of how it might have helped her future self, had never asked. 

So Kara went around the base and asked everyone what they knew. She told them that she thought it might be a good thing to implement for members of the Resistance, so that they could communicate no matter where they were. Eliza had said that it was a good concept in theory, but arguably too difficult to implement in actual practice. Force connections were incredibly rare, she said, at least the ones that could travel space and time were. 

Alex had given her a weighty side eye and promptly told Kara that she didn’t know anything about Force connections. Nia had apologetically told her that she doesn’t know much about the Force in general, let alone specifics. James and Winn had told Kara general information that Kara herself already knew. Ruby and Sam were, somewhat suspiciously, nowhere to be found. 

So Kara ended up consulting Brainy. They sit in Kara’s room, for privacy’s sake, although she had told Brainy that it was because she’d pulled a muscle on their last foraging trip. 

‘Force connections are actually not as uncommon as people think.’ Brainy begins. ‘Firstly, they require either a deep connection to the Force or a deep connection with the individual you’re trying to establish the bond with.’ 

‘Right.’ Kara nods. For pretence’s sake, she adds: ‘we could do that though, pretty easy. Because we have connections to each other at the base.’ 

Brainy eyes her, perhaps a little perplexed. ‘Oh no, I don’t mean just friends that have known each other for a little while. I mean lifelong bonds, blood relations, that sort of thing. I would imagine that if Alex were more Force sensitive, you could quite easily establish a Force connection to her.’ 

Kara tries not to let her confusion show on her face. ‘Is there a way to establish a connection without a lifelong bond?’ 

‘Ah.’ Brainy nods. ‘That’s where the manipulation comes in. I’ve never seen it done in my lifetime, but back on my home planet there were whispers of people strong with the Force making connections between two different people. Sometimes these people would be aware of the nature of the connection, knowing that it did not happen naturally. But sometimes they would not and think that the connection was the result of fate.’

Kara feels her heart rate leap. The mere implication that the Sith—or the Luthors—had intentionally set up this Force connection between her and Lena is enough to make her want to crawl out of her skin. She tries to breathe normally, though, and control her nerves. She can’t let Brainy suspect that she’s lied to him. 

‘So.’ Kara begins. ‘Is that forced connection related to the dark side at all?’ 

Brainy makes a face. ‘I don’t know a lot about it, but it was never mentioned to be a power belonging exclusively to the dark side. I imagine it could be used for dark purposes, but it could prove quite useful to the light as well. At least in theory.’ 

‘If a connection to someone appeared, let’s say randomly, could someone figure out how the connection came about?’ 

Brainy shrugs. ‘Possibly. It’s hard to say without any hard data on the concept. You’d need someone strong enough in the Force to read both minds of the people affected to try and see where the bond began.’ 

‘Okay.’ Kara tries not to let her disappointment show. Back to square one.

Brainy must spot her disappointment, though, because he puts his hand over hers. ‘I understand that you think Force connections would help the team know each other’s whereabouts, but it might be more trouble than it’s worth.’ 

Kara gives him a bright but fake smile. ‘Yeah. It was worth a shot though.’ 

He leaves her alone, then, perhaps sensing that her disappointment runs deeper than she let on. Kara welcomes the isolation when Brainy shuts the door to her room. 

‘What the hell do I do now?’ She wonders, aloud. 

An answer comes to her, in the back of her mind, that has her sitting upright and at attention. She could try and contact Lena, ask her what she knows about this connection between them. At the very least, Kara is certain that the Inquisitor has several theories about how this happened. Theories would be good enough, at least for the moment, since Kara is more or less trapped at base with no real way of investigating the connection properly. 

If she forced herself to go to sleep, she’d probably connect with Lena again. Since all their encounters up until now had been complete accidents, there’s a fair chance that she’d find herself conversing with Lena properly if she was actively trying to find her. The plan seems a perfect way to gather information. Lena would get to hear more about Kara’s side of their connection and Kara could get the context that she’s desperate for. 

But then, Kara realises, it’s not quite as simple as that. Lena is still a Sith at heart. This whole enterprise could be some deadly trick. Worse than that, any information that Kara receives from Lena could be coated in several lies. Kara wouldn’t, couldn’t, trust a word coming out of Lena’s mouth. That woman was likely trained in the art of deception from the moment she could talk. 

Kara slumps back into her bed. So much for her breakthrough moment. 

‘Disappointed, are we?’ A voice says, beyond her. 

Kara startles and looks around her room, but there’s no one there. The voice is definitely Lena’s, but Kara can’t _see_ her anywhere. 

‘How are you doing that?’ Kara asks, instead. 

‘You know, I’m not really sure.’ Either Lena is genuinely perplexed or she’s incredibly good at faking it. ‘It’s a bit like talking through a radio, isn’t it?’ 

‘How did you connect with me?’

‘It just happened. I picked up on your disappointment. It’s like you were broadcasting the emotion right to me. Honestly, I don’t think I could have missed it.’ 

Kara scoffs. ‘I seriously doubt that.’

Kara thinks she hears Lena laugh. Something musical, distant and airy. Yet also something cold. Kara feels the rush of indignation fill her, but she can’t voice her emotion because Lena is speaking rapidly—to someone else. 

‘Yes, of course. I understand.’ A pause, perhaps a breath. ‘No, I didn’t want—yes, I know. I won’t interrupt again. Yes, I’ll be there.’ 

There are a few moments of silence. Perhaps the other person has left. Kara feels her worry and curiosity simultaneously pique. She doesn’t think she’s ever heard Lena use that tone. A firm, authoritative voice that is somehow nervous at the edges. Hard, but brittle, as if Lena is holding the very last of her nerve to maintain an air of nonchalance. 

Kara feels it though, the nerves, through the air. It crackles in Kara’s mind, present but weak. Just a tinge of adrenaline from Lena’s own mind, that tinge of uncomfortableness and—is that fear?

‘Are you still here?’ Lena’s voice is hushed. 

Kara finds herself sitting up a little more confidently, knowing Lena is not. ‘Are you worried someone is overhearing us?’ 

The nerve flicker in their connection vanishes in an instant and Kara once again feels the solid resolve of Lena’s mind stabilise through the Force. 

‘You heard that.’ A statement, not a question. 

Kara nods. ‘Some. Your responses.’ 

The instant the statement leaves her mouth, Kara finds herself regretting it. These scenarios could be completely staged, she reminds herself. The Sith are not likely to do anything by complete, utter accident. Don’t be stupid. They could be trying to find you. Don’t give up the truth so easily. 

‘I thought as much.’ Lena sighs. She sounds tired. ‘Anything else?’ 

Kara pauses. ‘Only a little. Crackles. Like you said, hearing something through a radio.’ 

‘Right.’ Lena clears her throat. ‘What were you disappointed about?’

Kara sets her teeth. ‘Why do you want to know?’ 

Lena breathes something that sounds close to an incredulous laugh. ‘Just a question.’

Kara fiddles with her hands, trying to find something solid to hold onto. ‘I don’t think the Sith just _ask questions_.’ 

Kara imagines that Lena rolls her eyes at that. ‘Forgive me for taking an interest in your emotional state.’ 

‘Don’t do that.’ Kara finds herself saying, in a steely voice. ‘Don’t act like we’re—‘

‘Friends?’ Lena finishes, her voice seeped in disdain. ‘Be careful, Jedi. It sounds like you’re losing control again.’ 

‘Like you know anything about control.’ Kara reminds her. 

‘Sith are taught a different kind of control.’ 

‘I want no part in your teachings.’ 

‘Yes, yes.’ Lena sighs. ‘I know. The ye-old tale of Jedi saviours and Sith villains. We’ve all heard it before.’ 

‘Some of us believe in the stories.’ 

‘And some of us don’t. Honestly, Kara, do you believe everything you hear?’ 

There is something about Lena’s tone. So cavalier, so careless. It breaks something in Kara that she forgot existed; hope. Surely Lena doesn’t really believe that the Sith, that the Empire, aren’t committing hideous and heinous acts of violence against any creature they believe is beneath them? Surely she doesn’t believe in the Sith message of superiority at all costs? Surely she is not truly a Sith?

‘Your _kind_ killed my entire planet.’ Kara feels the truth rush out of her, finds herself wishing she hadn’t said and finds herself wishing she’d said it _sooner_ all at once. ‘My entire family. Every one of my kind. Except me. Forgive me if I’m more inclined to believe that the Sith are the villains in universal tales.’

The ensuing silence stretches on for so long that Kara is convinced that Lena has closed their Force connection. But, when Kara searches her mind for some hint of Lena, she still finds the Inquisitor there. Lurking silently in the background, like a tendril of smoke hung in the air.

‘I heard about that.’ Lena says, at least, in an even voice. ‘The first use of that second, improved Death Star my brother built. He talked about it for months on end. Destroying the last of those pesky pursuers of the Jedi faith.’ 

‘I’m glad you’re so sympathetic.’ Kara feels herself go cold all over. So, Lena really does believe in the Sith message. 

‘Kara—‘

Kara doesn’t hear what Lena Luthor is about to say next. She closes off her mind to their connection and feels something sever. Has she killed off the Force connection entirely? She can’t tell. She certainly can’t feel Lena in the back of her mind anymore but, considering the fact that she didn’t know Lena was there to begin with, it doesn’t really clarify much. 

So Kara sits very still and closes her eyes. The tears are arriving quickly, settling at the backs of her eyelids, waiting to be unleashed. A few leak out the corners of her eyes and make their way down her face. She doesn’t bother to wipe them. There will only be more that follow, shortly thereafter, anyway. 

She truly does not know what she expected to gain by telling Lena what the Empire did to Krypton. In all likelihood, Lena already knows the tale. It was Darth Mortem’s first, real public show of support for the Empire. It’s quite possible that Lena was involved in planning the event. Still, Kara can’t understand it. To be so relaxed and calm when someone is telling you that their whole planet has been destroyed and that you are the last of that kind. To Kara, it is unfathomable. 

When Kara finally leaves her bedroom and heads back to the central part of the base, she is surprised to find everyone else already gathered. Alex makes a confused face when she spots Kara, who is apparently very late to some kind of team meeting. Kara shakes her head, a signal that she will explain all of this later. 

Alex seems to accept this answer, because she goes on with her spiel. ‘We received an encrypted message a couple of hours ago. Some Resistance members have intercepted an Empire communication device that revealed the location of a series captured fugitives. Possibly Jedi.’

‘Do we know who the members are?’ James asks. 

Alex shakes her head. ‘Not all. But we know and trust their leader. They will arriving here shortly to take Sam and Kara with them. They will attempt to rescue the fugitives and return here with them.’

‘Why only Sam and Kara?’ Winn protests.

Eliza moves to stand next to her daughter, with a grave facial expression. ‘The rest of you are needed here. There have been some concerning messages we have intercepted that hint that the Empire may have discovered us after all. The only reason the other members need Sam and Kara is because they lost a few of their own not too long along.’ 

‘Who is their leader?’ Kara asks. 

‘Sara Lance.’   
———

Sara Lance is somewhat of a legend. Kara, even hiding out in the most unlikely places, could not escape hearing news of the Jedi Master who seemed responsible for single-handedly reviving the Resistance across several planets. There was a prevailing tale that she even managed to turn an infamous Sith Inquisitor—Nyssa al Ghul—to the light side. Or so goes the tale. 

When Sara and her team land, Kara finds herself feeling a little bit nervous. Having never actually obtaining an official Jedi rank, it is difficult to see how she could compare to a genuine Jedi Master. Still, she forces herself to swallow her nerves as she watches the team lead the ship. 

The Jedi Master in question is an average sized blond woman, dressed in scrapper gear, with a lightsaber hanging from her belt. She greets everyone with a smile and wave. A small team of about five other people, a mixture of humans and aliens, follow her shortly thereafter.

‘Hey.’ Sara says, when she comes within distance of Eliza Danvers. ‘Are you the leader here?’

Eliza gives a short nod. ‘Not exactly, but I’ve been here the longest.’ 

‘Good enough for me.’ 

They assemble in the control room, with Sara the centre. She turns to catch everyone’s eye, seemingly taking inventory on what kind of, and how many, people they have stirring about this base. She holds Kara’s gaze for just a second longer than the others, and then clears her throat. 

‘So. I bet you’re probably wondering who the hell we are.’ She smiles. ‘We’re a small team of Resistance followers who are looking to restart the Jedi order across multiple galaxies. Our main goal is to make sure that everyone can be safe enough to live in the open, again.’

She gestures behind her, to a tall woman with a grim facial expression. ‘You can thank Zari for intercepting and decoding the Empire transmission. As far as we know, there are several fugitives—which means Resistance supporters—imprisoned on Anoth. We are going to rescue them.’ 

‘When are we leaving?’ Sam asks. 

Sara shrugs, her lithe frame betraying the muscles that Kara can see straining against her long-sleeved shirt. ‘Whenever you’ve finished packing.’

That seems to adjourn the meeting. Sam immediately heads off in the direction of her room. Everyone else falls to idle chatter. Kara watches Alex walk over to Sara and begin a conversation. Taking it as time to assemble her own belongings, Kara turns away and goes to walk off in the direction of her own room. 

‘Hey, Jedi!’ Sara calls. 

Kara pauses and turns around. ‘Are you talking to me?’ 

‘Yeah.’ Sara grins. ‘I’m talking to you. Get over here.’ 

Kara walks over to Alex and Sara, trying to keep her spine straight and her voice sounding assured. ‘What’s up?’

‘What’s up?” Sara echoes, with a laugh. ‘What’s up is I wanted to actually be introduced to the famed Kara Zor El.’ 

Kara lets out a nervous chuckle. ‘I think you’re the more famous of the two of us.’

‘I seriously doubt that.’ Sara says, her voice growing solemn for a moment. ‘I wanted to say, I am really sorry about what happened to your planet. The Empire’s won’t stop at anything till they’ve wiped out the Jedi. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to help.’ 

Kara shrugs. ‘It’s okay, you would have been pretty young when Krypton was attacked.’

‘I meant not being there at Coruscant.’ Sara clarifies. 

‘Where were you?’ Kara asks, gently. She feels Alex put a hand on her shoulder in support. 

Sara grimaces. ‘Captured. I found out the news weeks after it’d happened.’

‘Well, thank you. For telling me.’ Kara sighs. ‘I better go pack.’ 

Sara nods. ‘Meet me at the ship when you’re done.’   
Surprisingly, Alex follows Kara as she makes her way to her bedroom. They walk the corridors in complete silence, until Kara stops right outside the doorway to her room. 

‘I’m okay.’ She says. ‘You don’t have to follow me and make sure I pack everything I need.’ 

Alex laughs, running a hand through her hair. ‘I was just trying to spend time with you before you go.’ 

‘Oh. Sorry.’ Kara grins, sheepishly, and they walk together into her room. 

Alex sits on Kara’s bed, watching as Kara stuffs some spare clothes and a water bottle into a backpack. She fishes some dehydrated goods out of the drawer in her desk and puts them in too. She clips both her lightsabers to her belt, but then hesitates. 

‘We don’t know how dangerous this mission is going to be.’ Kara says. 

‘Not really.’ Alex confirms. ‘We don’t have a whole lot of information about Anoth.’ 

‘Right.’ Kara nods. 

‘You’ll be fine.’ Alex says. ‘Just don’t do anything stupid.’

Kara huffs a weak laugh. ‘Such confidence.’ 

Alex rolls her eyes. ‘You know what I mean.’ 

Kara stands next to her bed, weighing her options. Then, she unclips Kal’s lightsaber from her belt. 

‘If I don’t make it.’ Kara says, holding Kal’s lightsaber out at Alex. 

There is a profound expression of sadness that crosses Alex’s face as she shakes her head. ‘Kara, no, of course you’re—‘

‘If I don’t make it.’ Kara repeats, firmer this time. ‘Keep this for me. Pass it onto Nia.’

Alex accepts the lightsaber, holding its weight in her left hand. ‘Why Nia?’ 

Kara shrugs. ‘She knows about platinum kryptonite. She’s probably the closest thing I’ve got to—‘ 

Kara can’t finish the sentence, but she knows that Alex doesn’t need her to. Generational inheritance is important to every culture that follows the way of the Jedi, but it is doubly important to Kryptonians. Though they follow the ways of the Force and the ways of the Jedi, they have their own religion alongside it. Rao—the God of Light—is seen as a great connector of the Force. Kryptonians face the same tests as other Jedi when it comes time for them to build their lightsabers. However, unlike other Jedi, Kryptonians do not choose the colour of their lightsaber—Rao chooses for them. 

The purple colour of Kara’s lightsaber matches her mother’s. Female descendants of a lightsaber wielding woman will share her blade’s colour and often inherit her lightsaber after her passing. Male descendants the same. The heritage of lightsaber colour can only be broken if a Kryptonian bleeds a kyber crystal, as shown by those who follows the ways of the Sith. 

Nia may not be Kryptonian, or Kara’s daughter, but it will be the only way of carrying on some form of the Kryptonian legacy if Kara doesn’t make it back. Kara tries not to think about this when she boards Sara’s ship, though. Thoughts of death only serve to distract, J’onn used to say. Focus on the present, the fact that you are alive. 

The incursion into Anoth is not as difficult as Kara had anticipated. Though they have to fight a few waves of Stormtroopers upon landing on a rocky outcrop, Sara’s team makes fairly short work of them. They split up and work their way through a cave system. The Sith appeared to have utilised the planet’s natural tunnelling system and have stashed several resource outposts in the caves. Sara instructs several members of her team to stay back and load the ship with what they’ve found. 

Sara, Sam and Kara make their way forward through the cave and reach an elevator. They entire it and find it functioning. It’s an oddity in itself, but they simply don’t have time to question their luck. The Empire could overrun their rescue operation at any moment. As they travel upwards, into what appears to be the Empire prison they came to infiltrate, none of them dare to make a sound. They all have their lightsabers drawn. Sara is a stark, deep blue that stands out against Kara’s and Sam’s own weapons. 

Upon the elevator doors opening, they fight off a few more Stormtroopers—one equipped with a machine gun—and check a large room with what appears to be the prison mainframe in it. They begin searching for signs of the fugitives. 

‘Over here.’ Sara calls. 

When Sam and Kara reach her, they see a computer depicting several closed prison cells. It appears that all the fugitives have been separated into different section of the prison. A good strategic decision, really, considering that they could band together and try to overrun the Stormtroopers. 

‘Alright.’ Sam says. ‘What do we do?’ 

‘I’ll take the north corridor. You take south.’ Sara says. ‘Kara, you’re east. We’ll circle back together to the west.’ 

‘What if we run into trouble?’ Kara asks, for the sake of being prepared. 

Sara grimaces. ‘Don’t die. Run if you can’t win the fight.’ 

With that sound but grim advice, they make their way out and go down their respective corridors. Kara finds her own corridor much the same as the rest of the prison—a steel colour in the walls pervading a sense of chilliness—until she comes across a slight difference. All the empty cells she passes have a blue electric charge running across the bars that would fence prisoners in. She’s seen those when she was on the run. The Empire use them to weaken those with Force powers. They won’t stop Force users, not completely. But it will keep them from escaping. 

Kara has found herself in the middle of one of the Empire’s Jedi prisons. 

Kara walks further down the corridor and turns left. She tries to calm her heartbeat and keep an eye out for any surprises, but she hasn’t run into anyone yet. According to Sara, further up the corridor and on the right there should be some cells that have fugitives in them. 

Kara comes to door on her right, just at the end of the corridor. A torture room, she thinks, based on the heavy door that appears to be soundproofed. She turns the door handle, finds it unlocked and swings it open. She turns on her lightsaber and holds it aloft as she walks in.

However, when Kara crosses the threshold of the doorway, she doesn’t see any Jedi sitting in the room, waiting for rescuers. Instead of a fugitive, Kara only finds a Sith.

Lena Luthor is perched, casually, on a chair with her black lightsaber handle held in one hand. Her usual Sith garb makes her stand out against the steel walls of the chamber.

‘Of course.’ Kara says, gritting her teeth against the anger that swells within her at being tricked.

‘It was all just a little too easy, wasn’t it?’ Lena drawls, looking a little bored. 

‘How did you know I would come?’ Kara asks. 

Lena shrugs. ‘Call it intuition.’

‘They was never here, were they? You orchestrated this whole thing just to capture me. Again.’

Lena doesn’t look up at Kara, and instead is looking at some fixed point on the floor. ‘Glad to see you’ve caught on.’

Then Lena stands upwards and rushes towards Kara, her double-bladed lightsaber revealing its blood red form as she runs. Kara meets her initial slash with a block of her own. The purple light emitted from her blade clashes horribly with the red. 

Lena takes a few steps back to gain some leverage and meets Kara with a series of slashes from left to right. Kara blocks every one of them, making sure not to get caught on the edge of Lena’s blade that remains pointed at the floor. Then Kara takes one step back and slashes overhead. Lena seems to struggles with the weight of Kara’s blow for perhaps one split second before she readjusts her stance to avoid getting sliced through by Kara’s blade.

Lena is a good tactician, Kara notes. She isn’t too aggressive and knows how to deflect blows without leaving too much opportunity to counter. But there’s something missing, some urgency or connection. She’s fighting as if she has to, but not as if she wants to. Kara is paused in her reveries when Lena steps left and slashes across Kara’s body. Kara dodges and takes a few steps back. 

It’s a little odd, Kara thinks after they exchange a few more glancing blows and blocks, to have this duel in complete silence. But then again, maybe Lena requires the concentration. 

Neither of them waste time trying to use the Force on one another. They don’t have enough opportunity to concentrate on something like a force-choke, and they won’t insult each other by trying to force-push or force-pull their way to a win. It likely won’t work regardless.

They remain locked in this circular battle for a little while. While dancing around each other and deflecting each other’s strikes, Kara is actually a little surprised that neither of them have landed a hit. Just when she thinks that perhaps it _might_ be worth trying to force-pull that nearby chair to hit Lena off balance, everything seems to move in slow motion. 

Kara watches, as if frame by frame, as Lena adjusts herself mid-strike to press a button on the side of her lightsaber. Her second blade vanishes as she throws her full force into a single-bladed overhead attack. Kara ducks at the very last second, thinks that maybe Lena might have caught some of Kara’s hair in the strike, and blocks the attack by throwing her blade against Lena’s own. 

The force of Kara’s block knocks Lena’s lightsaber out of her hand and onto the floor. Kara rests her blade against Lena’s neck and waits. They both recover their breathing in the silence that follows. 

‘Go on.’ Lena says, her face a blank sheet. ‘Finish your mission.’ 

Kara tightens her grip on her blade and knows that she should. She should kill Lena, for dragging her here and for trying to kill her. She should kill Lena simply for the crimes of her family. Lena certainly doesn’t seem repentant. Yet, it feels wrong somehow. It’s as if there’s some part, deep within Kara, that is calling out for her not to go through with it. 

Kara sighs and moves her blade away from Lena’s neck. ‘Killing you isn’t what I came here to do.’ 

If Lena is at all surprised, her facial expression doesn’t show it. Kara backs out of the chamber, towards the entrance and eyes watching Lena ever-cautiously. This would be a great opportunity for Lena to launch a counterattack. However, all Lena does is stand in the centre of the room, watching Kara and letting her escape. Maybe Lena is unsure that she could beat Kara, even if given a second opportunity to try. 

Kara makes her way back out of the Empire prison. She catches up with Sam and Sara. Sam gives her a quizzical look when she catches her eye. 

‘Couldn’t find them?’ She asks. 

Kara shakes her head. ‘It was a trap. I found Lena Luthor instead.’

Sam makes a face. ‘Did you—‘

‘No.’ Kara interrupts. ‘She escaped when she realised she couldn’t win.’ 

Sam watches her for a second longer and then nods. ‘Then let’s head back before we run into any more trouble.’ 

Kara had little more to do than reminiscence about their mission once they get back to base. They report their findings to Eliza and the others—a trap, no actual fugitives were found—then are instructed to go recuperate and consult Alex for their next rescue mission. 

Kara finds herself in her room, replaying her fight with Lena in her head. What was it that was so odd about the fight? Lena certainly was striking to kill. She wasn’t holding back or actively trying to give Kara a way out. She wasn’t giving any information to Kara and certainly not showing any signs of secretly being a Jedi. So, what was it then?

The answer comes to Kara as she stares out her window at the darkening sky. It was Lena’s lightsaber. Though it was the Sith red, it was fractured. Splitting. Cracked.


	6. a rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is from the Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood.

Kara lies down in bed, awake but foggy. Her mind is refusing to let go of Lena and their fight. She should have fallen asleep hours ago. If she tries hard enough, she thinks that maybe she can sees the first rays of dawn coming through the one window in her room. Perhaps the light will be enough to dispel the darkness and the doubt in her mind. 

Kara has heard tales of split kyber crystals. The tales on Krypton spoke of crystals cracking if their owner—the person the crystal originally bonded with—was swayed from the light side to the dark. In other instances, though, cracked kyber crystals also suggested disbelief. Kara had heard that when kyber crystals are bled to become the famous Sith red, all the anger and passion from a person is poured into the blade. Often a forced process, or conducted with stolen kyber crystals, there were apparently cases were reluctant Sith had built their blades without conviction. Kara had heard, mostly from Kal, that if the bleeding process was not undertaken with complete and utter conviction, then the kyber crystals would crack and split. 

Kyber crystals were not meant for the dark side, Kara knew that, which is why they would bond instantly with Jedi. If the bleeding of a crystal was not conducted properly, then the crystal would always be fighting and trying to bring itself back to the light. Or, at least, that was what Kara had heard. 

It could be possible that Lena was not whole heartedly invested in the Sith ways when she built her lightsaber. However, it could all be a trick of the mind. Wishful thinking. Kara can’t really confirm if Lena’s lightsaber was cracked, during the fight. She wasn’t really concentrating on the physical appearance of Lena’s weapon, so much as she was trying to not get sliced in half by it.

After their battle, Kara is even more reluctant to contact Lena. There’s something about Lena’s reactions that Kara doesn’t trust. She has not yet figured out how to decode them, to figure out their hidden meaning. Lena is a puzzle, and a dangerous one at that. Kara can’t help but get caught up in the idea that this is all some terrible trap, orchestrated by Lex or some other high ranking Sith, meant to torment and capture Kara. 

The Luthors were, after all, one of the most staunch anti-Jedi families the galaxies had ever seen. More than that, Lex took his anti-Jedi sentiments to new heights when he started to wax poetic about how there were ‘good’ and ‘bad’ races associated with the Force. Of course, there were ‘good’ and ‘bad’ people—those who could weld the Force and those who couldn’t—but Lex had drilled into his studies of autecology to the point where he could differentiate between which race was more likely to be sensitive to the Force.

Kryptonians were, in Lex’s opinion, incredibly powerful due to their ratio of Force sensitive to non-Force sensitive population. However, they had one unredeemable flaw. They were raised to believe in Rao and in the Jedi ways, to the point where it was incredibly rare for one of them to be turned into a Sith. Something about being bonded to the light side too strongly. Something about genetics. Kara wasn’t able to stick around long enough to learn specifics. 

Kal heard more though. He publicly challenged Lex’s position and, as such, made himself Darth Mortem’s number one enemy. Many others had challenged Lex’s position, but none were quite so visible. None where quite so powerful. None were Kryptonian. 

In a way, Kal had saved Kara’s life. The rumour persisted that there was only one living Kryptonian left across all the galaxies. Some sight of an escape pod from Krypton right before it was blown to pieces. However, Kal now fulfilled that rumour. He was the last Kryptonian, while Kara herself was still hiding but still alive. She was free, for a little while, while Lex spent all his resources hunting her cousin. 

Kara feels the familiar sorrow make its way back into her heart. It’s a welcome hurt, but still not a pleasant one. She strains her eyes to see if she can make out some small amount of light against the darkness that envelops her window.

If she were still on Krypton, she would be getting up now anyway. The first rays of dawn were important to the Force sensitive followers of Rao. The first hour of the day was supposed to be spent mediating, learning about one’s inner being and finding that connection between the darkness and the light. 

The Jed ways had said that perhaps the cycle of day and night were indicative of the universe themselves. At first, night gives way to day. Darkness gives way to light. Then, in the dusk, the day gives way to night. Light gives way to darkness. So on and so on, the cycle continues, for eternity. 

Personally, Kara finds the whole concept exhausting. It’s almost enough to send her, finally, to sleep. The idea of an unending battle and a sought after but never gained peace brings the chill of fear to Kara’s bones. Kara has never wanted glory, or power, or any of it. Contrary to popular belief, all Kara has found herself wanting nowadays is for no one to know her name. 

Kara shakes her head. She can’t let herself think like this much longer. At best, it’s unhelpful. At worst, it’s ungrateful. She has powers that others have only dreamed of and the ability to genuinely change things, if she should intervene. Even if it tires her down to her very bones, she must use it. 

With that final thought, Kara gets out of bed. All this wallowing has made her hungry. So, she heads to the kitchen. 

Given the late hour, Kara is shocked to find the lights in the kitchen on. They shine brightly against the grey metal and stone that make up the room. With their head in the freezer, Kara can’t place who is awake at this ungodly hour until she eyes the weapon at their hip. 

‘Sara.’ Kara greets. ‘I didn’t expect you to be up.’

Sara gives her a friendly smile. ‘Adrenaline. Dreams. Whatever you want to call it is keeping me up. You too?’

‘Something like that.’ Kara makes her own way to the fridge.

‘You did well today.’ Sara says. ‘I know you probably think you’re still pretty rusty, but I can sense your power. You’re strong with the Force.’ 

Kara gives a tight smile. ‘Thanks.’ 

Truthfully, the compliments make her uncomfortable. They settle uneasily alongside the lining of her stomach, making her nauseous. Everyone expects her to be strong with the Force. To make matters worse, she is. It is not so much the power that frightens her. It’s the fact that, in those moments, she is reminded of her mother. 

Alura had originally trained Kara herself. The training began when Kara was four. Small things, really, in comparison to other Jedi training, but Kara began them much earlier than her counterparts. She was trained to be one with the Force and to never consider life without it. Alura had told her that she was going to be a prolific Force user, like herself. Alura had expected her to be a high ranking Jedi official, once her training had been completed. She would never have expected Kara to run away. 

‘You’re welcome.’ Sara grins, eating a piece of some kind of fruit Kara is not familiar with. 

Kara closes the fridge and leans against the stovetop. ‘I had heard rumours about you. The famous Jedi who manages to turn even the greatest of Siths.’ 

Sara laughs and shakes her head. ‘All rumours I assure you. I never turned anyone.’ 

‘Really?’

‘Well.’ Sara’s grins turns more private. ‘Not to the ways of the Jedi, anyway.’ 

Kara feels an unexpected laugh bubble up her throat. ‘Does that mean what I think it means?’ 

Sara tilts her head, looks at Kara with a mischievous glint in her eye. ‘Depends on what you think it means.’ 

The jovial conversation has settled Kara’s nerves, but Lena’s revelation about their connection is still niggling at the back of her mind. She feels it when their laughter settles, that doubt and worry. Sara seems to read it, too, because her smile vanishes from her face and she taps her fingers on the countertop. 

‘Do you think all Sith are irredeemable?’ Kara asks, suddenly. 

Sara turns to her, a frown crinkling the skin between her eyebrows. ‘Not all, no. Why?’ 

‘Just wondered.’ Kara says. ‘I mean I heard about Jedi being turned to Sith when they got captured by the Empire. Do you think that’s true?’ 

‘I know it’s true.’ Sara sits herself on top of the counter. ‘My sister was one example.’ 

‘What?’ 

Sara nods, a friendly light in her eyes though her expression is grave. ‘Yeah. She got captured, tortured, turned. It took me forever to get her back.’ 

‘But you did? Get her back?’ 

‘Eventually.’ Sara shrugs. ‘It took a lot of time. There’s a lot of conditioning that Siths undergo, particularly Inquisitors. I had to help her undo all of that, so she could start believing in the Jedi cause again.’ 

‘I didn’t know that.’ Kara taps her hands on the counter, just next to Sara. ‘I knew that Sith had gruelling protocols, but I didn’t know about conditioning.’ 

‘It’s a lot of torture.’ Sara says, simply, as if she isn’t talking about brainwashing people. ‘And I mean that literally. Laurel told me that electric shock is the worst part.’ 

Kara winces. ‘I didn’t think...’ 

‘You could be sympathetic to the Sith?’ Sara says. ‘Yeah, me either. Not until it happened.’ 

Kara opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. ‘I guess it’s not as black and white as I’ve been taught.’ 

Sara gives her a considered look. ‘You know, you’re asking a lot of questions for someone who doesn’t have any known contact with the Sith.’ 

Kara shrugs, opening her water bottle. ‘I’m curious. I’ve been out of the loop for too long.’ 

Sara narrows her eyes. ‘This is about Lena, isn’t it?’ 

Kara stiffens, knowing that her posture is giving away her answer. ‘No.’ 

‘What about her makes you think she’s not all Sith?’ 

‘She didn’t try to kill me. When we fought.’ 

Sara nods. ‘There could be half a dozen reasons for that. You’re the last of your species. That means a lot to them.’ 

Kara makes a face. ‘Gross.’ 

‘Besides that, maybe her instructions weren’t to kill you but capture you instead. The Empire always wants a show.’ 

‘You know a lot about the Sith.’ 

‘When you’ve been around long enough, you pick up on a few things.’

‘You learnt it from Nyssa, didn’t you?’ 

There is a pause where Kara thinks that maybe she has said too much. Perhaps she’s addressed a rumour that is better left unsaid. 

Sara nods, eventually. ‘She taught me a lot about them. Now I know how to help them let go of all their anger and hatred, if we capture any.’ 

‘And she turned to the light? Is that part of the rumour true?’ 

Sara’s expression hardens, then. ‘It isn’t an all or nothing decision, for some people. She’s not a Sith anymore, that’s what matters. Did you know Lena before all of this? Is that why you’re so interested in learning about the Sith?’

Kara shakes her head. ’No, it’s not that. I just—well, I just think—‘

Sara watches her carefully. Kara feels exposed, the way that Sara seems to be studying her facial expressions and body language. She seems to know exactly what Kara is trying to say before she has said it. Or, at least, that’s what Sara’s inquisitive face seems to be suggesting. 

‘Tell me the truth.’ Sara says, relaxing her own posture. ‘I might be able to help you, you know.’ 

Kara breathes out a sigh. Thinks that maybe this might be going too far. 

‘I have a Force connection with Lena. I don’t know how or why but it’s there. Has been ever since I got captured by them a few months ago. She doesn’t know how it go there either.’ 

Sara sits up, back completely straight as she leans forward. ‘You have what?’ 

Kara runs a hand through her hair, nervous even though Sara’s tone is not judgemental. ‘Yeah, I know. It’s dangerous. I should tell the others. I just wanted to learn more about it first.’ 

Sara’s eyebrows seem frozen about halfway up her face, in a picture of perfect shock. ‘Right. Okay. That makes sense, actually. I thought you were acting erratic at the prison.’ 

‘I wasn’t!’ Kara argues. ‘I didn’t even know she was going to be there.’ 

Sara waves a hand, dismissively. ‘I meant after. After you fought.’ 

‘She was holding back. I know it.’

Sara makes a noise of disbelief. ‘Or she could just be terrible.’ 

‘Her lightsaber blade was cracked. Do you know if that means anything?’

‘Cracked? You’re sure?’

Kara nods. ‘Pretty sure. I was mostly trying not to die but, yeah, I thought about it. It was a fractured blade. Do you know how that happens?’ 

‘Yes.’ Sara says. The steely and certain tone she speaks with has a shiver running down Kara’s spine.

Kara pauses. ‘Can you tell me how it happens?’ 

Sara sighs, then nods. ‘Forced bleeding. Obviously, you know that the Siths bleed all their negative emotions into a kyber crystal to make the red blade of a lightsaber. The fractured or cracked look can come when the process is taken under duress. Panic bleeds into the crystal as well and the crystal responds to that by cracking—trying to resist the process, because the builder is trying to resist the process.’ 

‘So what you’re saying is that Lena was forced to become a Sith?’ 

Sara holds up a hand. ‘No. Don’t do that. Don’t assume her motivations or it could quite literally be the death of you. All we know for now is that she _may_ have been forced to bleed a crystal when building her lightsaber. That doesn’t necessarily mean she was forced to become a Sith or that she doesn’t believe in the Sith now.’

Kara throws her hands up in the air and makes a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. ‘What am I supposed to do then? Try and break my connection with her? I don’t understand the point of this.’ 

Sara shrugs, though her expression is sympathetic. ‘It’s difficult, I get that. It might help to stop thinking of everything as having some sort of cosmic significance. This might have happened by fate, or by some trick, or it could even have been some kind of accident. Not everything has point, you know.’ 

Kara tries to stop her frustration from completely overcoming her. ‘Should I stop using the connection then?’ 

Sara hops off the counter, steals Kara’s water bottle and goes to leave the room. 

Just before she does, however, she says: ‘not if you don’t want to.’  
———

Kara spends the next few days agonising over what to do. Sara had encouraged her to tell the rest of the base. A house divided and all that. However, Sara is no longer here. Her and her team left for their own base sometime last week, taking all their knowledge and guidance with them. Sara has been equal parts helpful and annoying. While she’d been able to give Kara more knowledge than she’d had ever hoped to gain, but she had left every choice up to Kara. That wasn’t exactly what Kara had wanted to hear. She’d rather have a teacher be able to tell her what was truly the right thing to do. 

Instead, she was left to her own devices. That resulted in Kara trying to tell the team about her Force connection with Len and promptly chickening out every single damn time she tried to go through with it. 

There was a particularly trying time, in the middle of a restocking mission, where Kara had started to bring up the conversation with Alex right before a giant slug popped up out of the water and tried to eat her. Alex didn’t bring up the attempted conversation, but Kara knows that her mind is already turning over all the things Kara might have been trying to tell her. 

She tried to tell Eliza, too, but that worked just about as well as trying to tell Alex. Eliza had given her one look, that look that all mothers give to their children that see right through their worry, and Kara just couldn’t go through with it. 

What if they panicked? What if Kara was putting them in danger by telling any of them about the connection? What if Lena really is constantly around and Kara is too dense to be able to tell?

The questions and the worry hold her back, hold her in a constant state of stress and keep her from getting any sleep. Kara spends the ensuing nights trying to practice Force meditation, to see if the Force can calm her. That’s what she tells herself anyway. Kara really knows, though trying to expel the concept from her mind, that she’s trying to see if Lena is existing in the back of her mind the same way that her brother was able to. 

It’s in this moment, in the dead of night, that Kara feels the slightest twinge in her fingertips. She is sitting cross legged on the floor of her room. She is facing the door, away from the window, in order not to be distracted by whatever temptation the night sky offers. Her fingertips feel like something is touching them, almost, There’s energy and static in the room, so weighty that Kara could swear she could reach out and touch it. 

It’s the heaviness in the room that eventually prompts Kara to opens her eyes. 

Lena is standing in front of her, looking perhaps the most grave Kara has ever seen her. She is dressed in her usual Sith garb, but sans her lightsaber. 

Kara crosses her arms and, though her pulse immediately jumps, tries to look calm. 

‘What do you want?’ Kara asks.

Lena purses her lips, then says: ‘they’re coming to kill you.’ 

Kara sighs. ‘You’re going to have to be more specific.’ 

‘Lex. The Empire. They’re sending a bomb to come and kill you.’

Kara narrows her eyes, watches Lena’s contrite face and keeps her own expression neutral. ‘Why are you telling me this?’ 

Lena throws her hands up in the air, seemingly questioning that decision herself. ‘Because they’re using my invention.’ 

Then, she vanishes. Kara lurches upwards and is halfway through pulling on pants before she pauses.

‘Wait.’ She says, aloud. ‘Is this a trick?’

She just about jumps a full foot in the air when a voice answers back: ‘is what a trick?’ 

Kara looks over at the doorway and sees Alex standing there. From the looks of things, Alex had just opened the door when Kara had sprung off the floor, a bundle of nerves. 

‘Oh. Um. Hi. What are you doing?’ Kara huffs, trying to calm her heartbeat down. 

Alex raises an eyebrow. ‘I was going to hang out with you. Can’t sleep.’

‘So.’ Kara says, with an expression of mock anger. ‘You were just going to wake me up?’

‘Yep.’ Alex says and sits on Kara’s bed. ‘What’s got you out of bed in such a rush?’ 

‘Nothing.’ 

‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’ 

‘Just about.’ Kara groans and sits next to her sister. ‘All right. I’m going to tell you something but you can’t freak out.’ 

Alex eyes her sister. ‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ 

‘I discovered a little while ago that I seem to sort of have a Force connection with Lena Luthor?’

‘Is that a question or a statement?’ 

‘A statement.’ 

‘Right.’ Alex exhales sharply. ‘Shit. Fuck. Okay. What do we do?’ 

Kara throws her hands up in the air. ‘I don’t know! I’ve been trying to figure this out for ages. Lena doesn’t know how it happened either. I think.’

‘You talked to a Sith about it?’

Kara grimaces. ‘I kind of couldn’t help it. She just, kind of, appears. Sometimes.’ 

Alex looks around the two of them, suddenly alarmed. ‘Can she hear us right now?’ 

‘No.’ Kara taps her left temple. ‘I’d feel her.’ 

Alex makes a face. ‘That is not comforting.’ 

Kara sighs. ‘I know. If it helps, this is just as skeevy to you as it is to me.’

‘It doesn’t.’ 

‘What should I do?’

‘Wait till morning and then tell everyone.’ 

‘They’re not going to like it.’ 

Alex side eyes her and cracks a smile for the first time this evening. ‘People usually don’t love being told a bomb is coming to kill them.’ 

Kara huffs out something close to a laugh. ‘I meant about the Force connection.’ 

‘I know.’ Alex jabs Kara in the ribs. ‘We will figure it out, okay? Try and get some sleep before we blow everyone’s minds.’ 

‘It seems a little soon to be making explosion related puns.’

Alex shrugs. ‘I work best under pressure.’

Kara watches her sister get up. ‘Can you stay with me? Just for a bit?’

Alex points an accusing finger at Kara. ‘Only if you promise not to kick me in your sleep like you always do.’ 

Sleep doesn’t come easily. For a start, Kara can’t seem to get comfortable. Her sleep deprived brain immediately wants to blame Alex and her star-fishing tendencies. When Kara finally does get to sleep, she is assaulted immediately with various nightmares. 

_They start the same way as always. Krypton. Losing Kal. Losing Alex. Losing people she doesn’t know. Losing._

_Then something shifts. The landscape of her dreams take on a more metal like sheen and it’s as if she is trapped in a building. She hears voicing swimming around her, but she can’t make out what they’re saying. She thinks a few of them sound familiar, but she also can’t place them._

_She watches as her vision swims with fade ins and outs of random bits of a laboratory. Her hands are focused on tinkering with some small missile, or vessel, with white and black colouring. She watches herself insert some capsules containing a thick, red liquid into the invention and then seal a compartment shut. The voices get louder and Kara’s vision gets even more blurred._

_Suddenly, she is trapped in some kind of glass chamber. She is watching the missile be fired across another room, to the direction of a soldier. She can’t make out anything except for a black uniform._

_Then, as the missile hits the opposing wall, a cloud of red mist explodes into the air. For some reason, she is banging on the glass. She is screaming. She is yelling, but no one around her—for this is now a team around her, blurry figures in white uniforms—is reacting. It’s as if they can’t hear her._

_She watches the blurry figure on the other side of the glass convulse and then fall down. Then, just as the figure hits the ground, they begin to disintegrate._

Kara wakes herself up. Slick with sweat, she looks around her to see that Kara has already left. The dawn rays are making their way through her room. She has no idea what to make of that dream. Her instincts tell her that there might be more to it. J’onn was always trying to tell her that dreams are never what they appear to be. Nightmares less so. Something about the Force and its affects on the subconscious mind. 

Kara forces herself out of bed, even though she is still taking ragged breaths and her legs feel like jelly. She has to report this potentially life altering information to the rest of the team, as soon as possible. She hurries through getting dressed. Her mind cannot let go of the image of that figure disintegrating.  
———

As seems to be the pattern lately, Kara is the last one to the control room. Alex is pointing out potential distress calls on a holo-map in the centre of the room. She talks about their potential missions for the next month, while Kara tries to gather her nerve. Then, once Alex has finished explaining, she gestures for Kara to come stand next to her.

Kara balls her hands into fists and makes her way over. 

‘Hi, everyone.’ She says, then clears her throat. ‘I have some news.’ 

Winn grins. ‘You’re not leaving us so soon?’ 

‘Of course not!’ Kara says. ‘This is a bit more serious than that. I don’t want to scare or trigger anyone but I recently discovered that I… Well, I guess there’s no other way to say it, is there? I have a Force connection with Lena Luthor.’ 

The predictable faces of worry and disgust transform the faces of her team members. Eliza gets that furrow between her eyebrows that she only really gets when she’s deeply troubled. Sam’s face looks like it has been carved out of stone. James’s spine has straightened so much that he appears about three inches taller than normal. 

Alex puts a hand up. ‘I know what it sounds like. Believe me, I had the same reaction last night. But that’s not the whole story. Kara?’ 

Kara looks at her sister and starts. ‘Oh. Right. Yes. That part. Well, Lena appeared to me last night and told me that the Sith are coming to kill us. Something about a bomb. She seems upset because they’re using her invention.’ 

‘Shouldn’t she be proud?’ Sam interjects. ‘I’m sorry, Kara, I don’t mean to invalidate your experience but this does seem kind of convenient. How do we know that they’re not trying to flush us out?’

‘And how do we know that Lena can’t hear every word we’re saying right now?’ James adds. 

‘That’s not how Force connections work.’ Brainy says, as everyone turns to him. ‘It only works when both people are open to receiving connection or communication. It’s not like a bug or recording device.’ 

‘With respect, Brainy, you openly admitted to not knowing a lot about the Force as recent as yesterday.’ James says. 

Brainy’s face has such a calm veneer that it unnerves Kara a little. ‘I know about this.’ 

‘Besides that.’ Kara says. ‘I had a dream last night. I believe that it is connected to the bomb. I watched someone build a device that exploded and disintegrated someone else in what looked like a testing environment.’ 

‘How reliable is that information, really?’ Sam asks. ‘I’m not about to risk my kid’s life based on the word of a Sith.’ 

‘Then I’ll show you.’ Kara suggests. 

Once Sam nods, Kara projects the exact contents of her dream to Sam’s mind. Sam takes a full step back when she’s done reliving Kara’s experiences the night before. 

‘Okay.’ Sam nods. ‘Okay. That doesn’t seem random.’

‘I believe Lena sent that to me last night as another way to convince me of the truth.’ Kara continues, though she’s not too sure how of it she believes. ‘I think we need to leave the planet.’ 

‘Why don’t you leave the planet?’ Nia pipes up. 

Kara’s facial expression must register about three different levels of offence, because Nia immediately holds up her hands in apology and begins to backpedal.

‘I didn’t mean it like it sounded!’ NIa assures. ‘I mean, if you leave and contact Lena again, isn’t it possible that she’s think we’re somewhere else and send the bomb to some random planet?’

‘We don’t know how the Empire have found us.’ Alex says. ‘Or even if they have. They may very well think they know where we are, but they could be mistaken.’ 

‘I haven’t seen any intercepted communications to suggest that they know about us.’ Winn says. 

‘Good.’ Eliza speaks, finally. ‘Alright. Here’s the plan, folks. For the next however long we have, we’re going to seal up all exits. All of us are going to work on rationing, seeing about our medicine stock and inventing an air filtration system.’ 

‘Air filtration?’ Alex asks. ‘For a bomb?’ 

Eliza shakes her head. ‘It’s not a bomb. It’s a virus.’ 

‘How do you know that?’ Kara asks, curiosity keeping her tone light.

Eliza gives her a comforting smile. ‘When you projected your dream to Sam, you also projected it to me by accident. Like you used to, with Alex.’

Kara flushes. She’s a powerful Jedi, accidentally sending her dreams to her foster mother like she used to when she was thirteen. Embarrassed as she is, she still makes her way over to Eliza when the meeting concludes.

‘You’re sure it’s a Force connection?’ Eliza asks. 

Kara nods. ‘100%.’

‘Alright. How much of her could you see?’

‘Just her, most of the time. Sometimes a little bit of the background. She told me she could only see me, though, but in her surroundings.’ 

‘Good. That means the Empire likely haven’t used her to try and find you.’ 

‘Do you know why she told me about the virus?’ 

Eliza shrugs. ‘Could be a few things. As an Inquisitor, she’ll likely have a large ego. Maybe they used her invention without her permission. Maybe she’d rather see it fail than succeed because of that. I think attempting to save you is just an incredibly fortunate by product.’  
———

The bomb comes much sooner than Kara expected. It only takes a few days. Everyone has spent the earlier days trying their best to prepare for whatever would come their way. Kara feels as though Sam doesn’t quite believe her, but nevertheless Sam does what she’s told and even gets Ruby involved. 

They hear the ships before they see them. An incredibly loud and powerful churning of several engines. Kara rushes into the control room, even though she was in the middle of training Nia to connect with the Force, and sees five or so ships make their way past the base at an incredible speed. They aren’t even slowing down to make sure that their bombs hit the base properly.

Kara watches the bombs sail through the air and then make contact with the ground below. Kara can tell, even from this distance away, that they look exactly like the ones from her dream.

Kara feels panic in every bone in her body. Lena could have been lying, her heart tells her. She could have been trying to draw everyone out of the base to kill them, Kara tries to convince herself. Kara can’t quite make herself believe any of it. 

She watches as a red cloud of mist—like iron, like blood, in the very air itself—descend on the base. It clouds the atmosphere, the horizon, and everything underneath. Kara can’t see even one centimetre of land out of the control room’s windows.

Alex and Winn have done their best to invent a filtered air system, but there’s no telling if it will work. A lack of technology and a lack of equipment means that they couldn’t properly test it out before they saw the Empire ships fly past the base. Kara is sure that the virus, the illness, or whatever was planted in the mist is already in her system and in all their systems.

Kara looks over at Alex, sees her grave expression and tries to give an encouraging smile. Kara herself is waiting for some sign of dying. Shortness of breath, maybe. Does she feel a tingling sensation in her fingertips? Or maybe she feels her heart beating faster than it shoulder? It’s difficult to tell, as the panic descends. Kara has a grave realisation that maybe the virus is panic itself. Can people panic themselves to death? Kara doesn’t know. 

She waits a few more minutes while she stares out the window and then turns back to Alex, confused. 

‘Alex.’ She calls. ‘Do you feel any different?’ 

Alex makes a confused face and shakes her head. ‘No, not really.’ 

Winn is standing by a rudimentary vitals machine that he built when Kara told them about the impending attack. It doesn’t measure a lot, he had told them, but it should tell them at least if their heart rates and blood pressure are at normal levels. He’s attached himself to the machine with two different bands attached at either wrist. 

Kara walks over to him and looks over at the machine’s reading. ‘Everything looks normal.’ 

‘Yeah.’ Winn says, confusion seeped into his tone. ‘It does.’ 

‘Maybe the Luthor was tricking us?’ James says, from by the doorway. He and Eliza have just made their way into the room, after trying to conceal some of the cracks in a broken door near the back entrance.

‘Wouldn’t be the first time.’ Alex agrees, looking over at the window. 

The mist is dispersing now. Kara can finally see the horizon, for all the good it does her. It still seems to be fogging up her vision to some degree, though, because she thinks she sees a small ship landing at the front entrance of the base. 

It disappears suddenly, though. Kara has just about convinced herself that it is a trick of the mist when Sam storms into the room, with Ruby trailing behind her. 

‘Guys!’ Sam calls. ‘There’s someone here. I felt it. Prepare your weapons.’

‘Open the doors.’ Eliza says. ‘Kara. Sam. Stand by the front. The person might be diseased.’ 

‘Mom!’ Alex objects. ‘We can’t just open the doors.’  
Eliza gives her daughter a reproachful look. ‘I am not letting someone die trying to get help. No matter who they are.’ 

With that final order, James rigs the doors to open and they sees the familiar swish of a Sith Inquisitor cape. A hood is over the head of the person and conceals their identity from view. As soon as Kara has seen the uniform, however, she is suddenly overwhelmed with the knowledge of who that person is. 

‘Lena.’ She exhales. ‘What are you doing here?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> low-key writing about Sara and Nyssa as a Jedi and Sith-turned-Grey-Jedi has accidentally made me want to actually write that story, too, oops.


	7. then there’s the future (sheer vertigo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is from Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood.

The first thing Kara can really register once she overcomes her surprise is this: 

Sam bolts forward and throws her lightsaber, with her aim dead centre on Lena’s head. The lightsaber twirls and twirls. Kara watches the blue blade spin and spin and spin. Lena isn’t moving out of its path. Why isn’t Lena moving out of its path?

Before Kara can verbalise the sudden panic she feels, Lena moves at last. She doesn’t move much, just an inch to the left at just the right moment. Instead of slicing through her pale neck, the lightsaber makes contact with her hood. It slices clean through, leaving the fabric with a rather unattractive gash through it and rendering the material utterly useless. 

Sam force-pulls her lightsaber back to her and holds it aloft when it arrives. Ready for round two. 

Lena isn’t moving, though. She hasn’t even drawn her weapon. Sam’s confusion is apparent on her face, and in her body language, but she moves forward regardless.   
‘Wait.’ Kara says, holding an arm out to stop her fellow Jedi. 

The look that Sam gives her could have cut her in half just as well as a lightsaber, but Sam stops moving. 

‘What are you doing here?’ Alex asks, before Kara can manage. ‘Does this mean you’ve contracted the virus as well?’ 

Lena’s veneer doesn’t crack. Her face is just as blank as when they opened the door. ‘The virus?’ 

Kara glances at Alex, who tightens her grip on her blaster. _Clones?_

Kara doesn’t mean to project her thoughts out into the universe. But she feels Sam answer.

_I wouldn’t put it past them._

‘Yes.’ Kara says, stepping forward herself. ‘The one you told me about. The bomb.’

Lena nods. ‘Right. Why did you think it was a virus?’

Kara waves a hand about, trying to keep her calm even though the whole situation feels off. ‘The red mist. The lack of actual assault. The fact that the Empire fighters didn’t land.’

Lena covers her mouth to cough. The face she makes in that moment is the only real facial expression she’s made in the last five minutes. 

Sam looks up at the sky, expression tightening in anger. ‘Is this some kind of game to you? Find us Jedi and pull a few tricks? I guess you followed the fighters here and thought you might have a little Sith fun.’

Lena turns to Kara. ‘I see Jedi dramatics run in the family.’ 

‘Sam and I aren’t related.’ Kara points out, needlessly.

Lena’s glacier exterior breaks way then, to a small smirk. ‘No? I thought all Jedi were one big, happy family.’ 

‘Enough chit chat.’ Alex declares. ‘What the _hell_ are you doing here?’ 

‘I’m seeking asylum.’ Lena gestures around her. ‘I thought that was rather obvious.’ 

Kara wishes she could freeze frame this moment in her mind, to reflect later on everyone’s look of shock and abject horror. Sam looks like she’s about to pop a blood vessel. Winn looks like he’s two seconds away from fainting. James looks prepared to catch him. Alex’s eyebrows have reached her hairline. Only Eliza remains, at least outwardly, calm. 

‘Why?’ Eliza says, the closest to the entrance. 

Lena turns back to the group, meeting Eliza’s eyes. ‘I tampered with something they value. They’ll kill me. I figured there’s half a chance that you lot don’t.’

‘Those are quite some odds.’ Eliza replies. ‘What did you tamper with? Be specific.’ 

Lena gestures to the air around them. ‘Not feeling ill at all, are we?’ 

Kara’s eyes widen. ‘You made it inert. You’re right. They are going to kill you.’ 

‘Not if I don’t do it, first.’ Sam murmurs. 

Eliza clears her throat. ‘Right. Well, if you truly do want to claim asylum then you know the rules.’

Lena nods, her gloves hands clasped in front of her. ‘Submit to your usual initiation process.’ 

‘And hand over your weapon.’ Eliza reminds her.

Lena unclips her lightsaber from her belt and then it is pulled from her grip. It floats slowly through the air and into Sam’s hands. Sam walks over to Alex and hands her the lightsaber. Kara eyes Lena curiously throughout the whole exchange. She shows no change in emotions when her weapon is removed from her. Lightsabers are sacred. Pulling one away from its rightful owner feels like pulling a tooth. 

‘Now for part two.’ Alex says, turning the lightsaber over in her hands. ‘Mandatory mind reading.’

Lena’s face goes blank again, but Kara watches her spine straighten suddenly. ‘No.’

Alex raises an eyebrow. ‘I thought you wanted to claim asylum. That’s what everyone here had to do.’ 

Well, not everyone, Kara thinks. But Lena doesn’t need to know that.

‘Absolutely not.’ Lena says, with perhaps even more conviction than the first time. 

Sam nods and smiles, cold. ‘Well, I guess we have our answer then. If none of you object to me killing someone unarmed, I have some business to attend to.’

Kara holds up her hands to stop Sam. ‘Killing someone unarmed seems like it would go against the Jedi way.’ 

To Kara’s surprise, Sam laughs. ‘Why do you think the Empire are winning? We have so many fucking arbitrary rules.’ 

‘Wait. Just a second.’ Kara says. 

Sam rolls her eyes, but nods. Kara turns back to Lena, then. 

‘if I do the mind reading, will you do it?’ Kara tries to smile. ‘It’s nothing we haven’t done before.’ 

Lena watches the exchange with a tense smile. ‘Still a no, I’m afraid.’ 

‘You’d rather die?’ Kara asks. ‘Because that’s what Sam is about to do unless you agree.’ 

Lena tilts her head and studies Kara. ‘You’d really let a Jedi kill an unarmed person?’ 

‘An unarmed Sith.’ Kara amends. ‘Besides, it’s not up to me.’ 

‘You’re trying to tell me that the last Kryptonian hasn’t slipped right back into a leadership role, as if I’d believe that?’ 

‘I don’t need you to believe me. I’ll give you a second to reconsider. If your answer is still no, then I have to step aside.’

The whole scenario feels wrong. The fact that Lena is even here, right in front of them, trying to weasel her way into their group sends several alarm bells ringing in Kara’s head. It’s more than that, though. Kara is truly panicked at the thought of having to step aside if Lena refuses the offer. The concept of killing someone, even a Sith, without a proper opportunity to defend themselves makes Kara’s stomach turn. 

Lena clears her throat. ‘How long does the mind reading have to go on for?’

‘Long enough for the person to see your intentions.’ Eliza answers. 

Lena mutters something under her breath and then nods. ‘Fine. I’ll do it.’ 

Kara nods, ignores the swell of adrenaline. ‘Okay. I’m gonna start now, ready?’

Lena rolls her eyes. ‘As I’ll ever be.’ 

Kara takes a few steps forward and then places her hand on Lena’s shoulder. Then, she feels her whole self disappear as the images and sounds flash and whirl in a cacophony of sensations. 

_The whole room is dark. Is that a person over there? How can someone be so tall? All dressed in Sith garb, the person takes a step closer. Oh, Kara is small. No. Kara is not small. Lena is small. A child?_

_The image fades away, like it’s being burnt from Kara’s memory._

_‘Hey!’ A yell makes Kara jump. A young Lex. Her heart rate soars. ’Lena, where do you think you’re going? We’re supposed to play chess!’_

_A new image becomes clearer and clearer in Kara’s mind. Lex, in Sith garb but not Darth garb, is smiling. He looks friendly, almost. Then his hand moves forward and grasps Kara’s—Lena’s—arm in a tight grip._

_‘You don’t just get to do whatever you want, you know.’ He says, reminds her._

_Kara feels herself frozen in fear as she is pulled away by Lex. Is it her fear or Lena’s? She is too stricken to be able to tell._

_The image fades and then Kara can see a young Lena, a teenager perhaps, standing in the middle of a circular room. The room itself is black, with red accents. It is the clearest image Kara has seen. Lena stands with other Sith Inquisitors, lightsabers held loosely in their hands._

_A tall figure steps across the room. Darth Mortem. Kara can tell from the way he’s moving—that assured confidence, that languid posture, as if he has all the time in the world. Relaxed, until he isn’t._

_‘Well, I’m glad you could all assemble in a timely fashion today.’ He says, with what could almost be mistaken for a light-hearted grin._

_‘I apologise.’ Someone to the left says. ‘The mission took longer than I thought.’_

_Lex waves a hand. ‘I didn’t ask for your excuses. Today, I have a rather more pressing matter to attend to. Someone has told me—some loyal member of this revered position you all are lucky enough to hold—that we have a traitor in our midst.’_

_Kara feels all air leave her—Lena’s?—body._

_Lex turns his attention to someone on Lena’s fair right. Their head is covered by a helmet. They step forward. Kara can feel the fear coming off of them, like pools of oil._

_‘It wasn’t me.’ The Inquisitor protests, his breaths heaving through the helmet. ‘I promise. They forced me! I—‘_

_The voice is abruptly cut off by Darth Mortem holding out a hand. The body floats only a foot above the ground, but the choking sounds are unmistakeable. Then, just as quickly as the process began, the body falls back on the ground with a dull thud._

_The Inquisitor takes ragged breaths, sucking in as much oxygen as possible._

_‘You will speak when spoken to.’ Mortem reminds him. ‘Now, I was thinking something a little more exciting might happen today. You know I so hate it when traitors are discovered. So, as a display of loyalty to me and to the Empire, I would like someone to volunteer to kill him.’_

_An abrupt and surprised silence follows. Lex latches onto it like a leech on the back of a thigh._

_‘No takers?’ He asks. No one will speak now, for fear of interrupting. ‘Well, I guess I’ll just have to pick someone.’_

_He turns and walks back and forth. Waiting, for a moment, to pick just the right person for the job._

_‘Who better than my own sister?’ He says, at last. ‘Lena, step forward.’_

_Kara feels herself shaking. Her emotions and Lena’s emotions appear to have mingled completely. Lena steps forward. Her face is blank. She turns the top blade of her lightsaber on. The blood red light hums._

_‘Wait.’ Mortem says. ‘Be a dear and remove his helmet, won’t you? I want everyone to know who he is.’_

_Lena does as is bidden. She takes the helmet off her fellow Inquisitor. She stares right into his fear soaked eyes, ignores his pleas of innocence and mistaken identity, and slices his head right off his shoulders._

_‘So efficient.’ Lex tuts. ‘I would have preferred you put on a little more of a show. But, we can’t always get what we want. You may all go now, preserve this meeting in your minds. As a reminder. Lena, stay back, won’t you? Mother wanted me to pass on a message.’_

_Kara can barely absorb what she’s just witnessed. Of course, she expected that Lena has killed people before. It’s a little difference seeing it happen, however. Focus, she tells herself, I’m not here for fun. I’m here to see Lena’s most recent memories. See her intentions._

_She feels like she’s wadding through a pool in the dark. Eventually, another image uncovers itself. A Sith lab, just like the one that Kara had been imprisoned in when she was captured._

_A kind, jovial looking man is grinning at her. ‘I told you we could do it!’_

_She feels a complete, breathless joy._

_‘Jack!’ Lena’s voice says. ‘I can’t believe it. This is going to flip everything on its head. Planet exploration and species identification without the need for casualties or troops on the ground.’_

_‘It’s fantastic! You’re a genius.’_

_‘She is.’ A voice says, behind her. Lex? No, a woman. ‘Finally, finally you were able to get it right.’_

_Kara’s feels Lena grow tense, cold—scared?_

_‘Mother.’ Lena says. ‘To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?’_

_‘A little birdie told me that you completed the project I gave you.’  
‘Not your project. Mine.’ _

_‘Don’t be insubordinate so early in the morning. You know it gives me headaches.’_

_Kara cannot see a clear picture of the woman that she presumes is Lilian Luthor. Even in Lena’s memory, the exact picture of Lilian is murky, unclear and blurred._

_‘What are you going to call this new invention?’ Lilian asks, when Lena does not speak again._

_‘I don’t know.’ Lena says._

_‘Well.’ Lilian makes a sweeping gesture without one hand. ‘Out you get, Darth Mortem has a task for you.’_

_The image pauses and then fractures. Another takes its place just as fast as the other one vanishes._

_‘Lena, what are you doing?’ The jovial man is all serious expression now._

_Lena is typing something on a computer. ‘You need to leave. They’re going to suspect you right after they realise I’m gone. You need to run.’_

_‘Run? Lena. I can’t run if I don’t know what you’re doing.’_

_A machine beeps. A process is complete. Jack takes a step back, seemingly recognising what exactly has just occurred._

_‘Lena, tell me you didn’t.’_

_‘I told you to you need to leave.’_

_‘Darth Mortem is already reporting Medusa to the highest in the Sith council. You’re going to make him look like a fool.’_

_‘Then I suppose it’s a good thing I don’t intend to be around when he finds out.’ Lena sighs. ‘I’m serious, Jack. They will kill you, even if it’s just because they couldn’t find and kill me. Don’t hang about.’_

_Jack nods. ‘Just tell me why.’_

_Lena laughs, a cold and shocking and heartbroken noise. Kara feels it running through her veins._

_‘It’s mine. They don’t get to twist it and take it from me without my say. It’s too much. This is my one invention that they’ve shown an interest in it and he’s—they’re changing everything about it. I don’t want my name attached to—to this. Not to something like this. We can guarantee Empire victories without the need for widespread devastation. At best, it’s wasteful. At worst—‘_

_Lena pauses. Lex. Kara can feel him in the memory. He’s on the move._

_‘Promise me you’ll try and escape.’ Lena says._

_‘I promise.’ Jack smiles._

Kara is out of breath and out of depth when she takes her hand off Lena’s shoulder. She feels like she’s just walked through the desert for three weeks. She feels bone tired and slick with sweat. She crosses her arms to hide her shaking hands. 

‘She’s telling the truth.’ Kara announces. She has a feeling that none of the team really know what to do with that.   
———

Kara is instructed to rest. Eliza takes one look at the state of her, hands her a bottle with electrolyte fluid and tells her to get to bed. The rest of the team—however many feel up to the task—escort Lena into the building and into a temporary containment holder.

Kara is sure that Lena made a snarky remark about not being trusted even when she had a Jedi sift through her mind. Kara feels too many residual emotions to bother fighting sleep. She can’t even tell if her feelings are real—it all feels like she’s trapped in someone else’s mind, even if she is in her own body. Sleep is a welcome reprieve. 

_Lena, sitting in the containment chamber, is the first thing Kara sees in her mind’s eye._

_‘We have got to stop meeting like this.’ Lena says._

_Kara is too confused to even consider laughing. ‘I was trying to sleep.’_

_Lena shrugs, casual only in their Force connection. ‘If it’s of any comfort, you probably are genuinely asleep.’_

_Kara sighs. ‘Can we maybe do this another time?’_

_Lena scoffs. ‘It’s not like I have any more control over this than you do.’_

_‘But you know how to break the connection, at least temporarily.’_

_Lena pauses. ‘You mean to tell me that you don’t?’_

_Kara curses herself, inwardly. She depends on not telling the Sith everything about herself, and there she goes doing it accidentally again._

_Lena seems to turn over this new development in her mind. ‘You know, you’re a really odd case.’_

_‘Thanks.’_

_‘I mean it. I studied you. You should be capable of incredible feats of Force use. You managed to read my unwilling mind and it didn’t even seem like an effort until you were finished. But you can’t do something as simple as break a Force connection.’_

_Kara fights the urge to run, to hide, to crawl back into a cave where no one knows her name. ‘Not all of us had the luxury of proper and consistent training. You know who I have to thank for that.’_

_Lena waves a hand. ‘Yes, yes, I know. Sin by association. Still, even without training, you should have access to unbridled power. You should almost be more powerful without training than with it.’_

_‘Can we be done theorising the mystery that is my connection to the Force?’_

_‘No.’ Lena insists. ‘You are the only person I have ever met that is like this.’_

_‘I’m so glad to be that interesting to you.’ Kara spits out. ‘I need some fucking sleep.’_

_To Kara’s confusion, Lena smiles with—what? Is that mirth? Is that enjoyment? Is that excitement almost?_

_‘They didn’t train you how to keep it out.’ Lena says. ‘Not properly. My god, you probably don’t even know.’_

_‘All right.’ Kara says. ‘Enough of this crypt nonsense. What do I not know?’_

_Lena shrugs. ‘Figure it out, Kara. It’s your brain.’_

Then, to Kara’s utter frustration, Lena vanishes. She has severed the connection and given Kara just what she wanted at the precise moment that she didn’t. The adrenaline and the confusion can only keep her going for so long, however, before Kara feels herself to succumb to real sleep.  
———

Kara wakes up to a lot more drama than when she went to sleep. James now seems vehemently opposed to having Lena on base even though he didn’t mention a word about it when the whole event was taking place. 

‘It’s a trap!’ He says. 

Kara walks into the control room, rubbing sleep from her eyes, to see James talking with Winn, Brainy and Alex. Sam, Nia and Eliza are elsewhere apparently.

‘What’s a trap?’ Kara asks. She glances at the hallway that leads to the training room. No doubt they’ve set up Lena’s containment chamber in there. Nowhere else really has the space. 

‘Having the Sith here.’ James looks her over with something close to revulsion. ‘Not that I would expect you to be on my side about it.’ 

‘What is that supposed to mean?’ Alex asks, a dangerous edge to her otherwise calm voice.

James raises both hands. ‘Nothing. Nothing. Sorry, that was flippant. I still think it’s a really bad idea to have an Inquisitor just sitting in a chamber until we decide what to do with her.’

Kara takes a seat across from them. ‘Didn’t we do this already? She’s claiming asylum.’

James scoffs. ‘Sith can’t just claim asylum.’

Kara makes a face. ‘Yes, they can. Anyone can. That’s the point.’

‘If the situation were reversed, the Sith would have killed any of us if we tried it. They probably already have.’

‘The situation isn’t reversed. She did what we asked. I read her mind. What more do you want us to do, James?’ 

Winn sighs. ‘He still thinks we should kill her. Or hold her for ransom and use her as some leverage against the Empire.’ 

‘I cannot begin to even tell you what a spectacularly bad idea that is.’ A voice announces. 

They all turn to see Nia striding into the room. In any other circumstance, Kara might feel a little proud that Nia has finally settled confidently into her environment when all of a few weeks ago she had trouble forming more than two sentences.

’No offense.’ James says. ‘But what would you know about it?’

Nia shrugs. ‘Yeah, yeah. I know I’m a newbie and everything.’

‘Yes, you are.’ Alex agrees. ‘Do you know something you’re not telling us?’

‘Almost always.’ Nia jokes. ‘In all seriousness, though, I should probably tell you a little background about my people. So almost all the Force sensitive people of my species—human adjacent, let’s call it—are women. It seems that the Force is passed from mothers onto their daughters. No one really knows why. Anyway, some of those people have chosen to be Sith and some have chosen to be Jedi. Some have chosen to be neither. We don’t really see it as a shameful thing, to choose. 

‘The idea is that everyone has the opportunity to join whatever cause feels right for them. That’s why I wanted to try and find the Jedi. I like the way you guys do things here—with the fairness and the control and the whole bright lightsabers thing. Anyway, I’m getting off topic. Because of this lack of shame, I know a little about the Sith. Enough to know that I did not want to party with them. One of my distant cousins was a Sith Inquisitor and sometimes she would visit and tell me stories. To scare me, I think. 

‘It worked, too. God, they can be creepy. They don’t value people the same way that the Jedi do. If you ransom anyone other than a Darth or a high ranking Sith, they don’t care. Inquisitor are like, a dime a dozen over with the Empire. They can always train more. They’re not going to be bribed to take someone back that they want to kill anyway.’ 

James takes all this with a stoic expression. ‘Not even the sister of Darth Mortem?’ 

Nia shrugs. ‘What do they care? She’s only the sister. In their eyes, she failed her mission. Probably several of them, considering Kara is still alive.’

‘I’m glad to see that at least one of you has a brain.’ Lena says, as she strides into the room. 

Alex has her blaster up, ready to fire, in a split second. Lena pauses and then gestures behind her. Eliza walks through the doors a moment later. She eyes her daughter. Alex lowers the blaster.

‘I let her out.’ Eliza says. ‘We’ve reached an understanding. Seeking asylum does not mean automatically being imprisoned.’ 

Winn pales a little. ‘I hope you know she could kill us all.’ 

Eliza gives him a reassuring smile. ‘I’m sure Kara won’t let her, dear.’ 

Kara huffs. ‘Way to give me all the responsibility, Eliza.’

Eliza laughs, warmly. Kara catches a brief look of confusion on Lena’s face. It’s so brief, in fact, that Kara feels like she might as well as imagined it. She watches Lena’s shoulders, though, and fists—they relax into a more even posture the longer no one tries to actually kill her. 

‘I don’t like this.’ James says. ‘I just want to put that out there.’ 

‘We do need to formulate a plan.’ Eliza allows. ‘In case they try to look for her.’ 

‘You’re not telling me that we have to protect her.’ Winn says. He looks equal parts distressed and frightened. 

Alex grits her teeth. ‘We’re honour bound. You know, sometimes I feel like we’re the only ones in several galaxies that have any sort of honour left.’

‘You’re probably right.’ Lena agrees. 

It does nothing to settle anyone’s nerves.


	8. my self is a thing I must now compose (as one composes a speech)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been a while, folks. this is probably more than a little rushed, but have at it anyways. It is very unedited.
> 
> As always, I love reading your comments and engagement with this work. Thanks for your interest, as always. 
> 
> Quote is from the Handmaid's Tale.

The day breaks over the tops of the foliage that Kara can see from a crack in their broken door. Kara isn’t too sure how the door broke—something about hydraulics, Alex had explained and Kara hadn’t really listened—but now they’re stuck with a small draft that shifts around the control room whenever the wind picks up. 

It howls, too, in the middle of the night. Trust them to have picked the windiest island in the galaxy. The first time it happened, Kara had woken with a start and half expected to see some horrid ghost looming over her, ready to claim her for some netherworld beyond. It hadn’t happened, of course. The wind is just the wind—or so it seemed at the time. 

‘Hey.’

Kara turns away from the door at the sound of her sister’s voice. Alex is still wearing her casual bedclothes—a comfortable t-shirt and some pants they’d found in the back of a storage basement. She looks relaxed and younger. That usual furrow in her brow and tense posture has not yet made an appearance.

‘What are you doing up?’ Alex continues, as she takes a seat across from Kara. ‘I’m usually up before you. Hell, even Ruby is usually up before you.’ 

Kara opens her mouth to spit out some comment in mock offence, when she spots Lena round the corner and walk into the room. She is still wearing her Sith garb, even though it must be sullied and uncomfortable by now. Hard to break habits, Kara hopes. In truth, she has no reason to doubt that Lena is still a Sith. A Sith persecuted by her own kind, yes, but still a Sith. 

Lena raises an eyebrow at the ensuing silence. ‘You can continue your conversation, you know. I won’t eavesdrop.’ 

Alex scoffs, eyes shut as she leans against her chair. ‘I’m not in the habit of believing Sith when they promise things.’ 

The sigh that Lena gives as her response is almost inaudible, but Kara manages to catch it anyway. The benefit of their Force connection? Kara can’t tell. 

‘I actually slept well.’ Kara says, turning her attention back to Alex. ‘For once in my life.’

Alex opens her eyes and softens a touch, at that. ‘Well, good. We need you well rested.’

Kara watches Lena linger in the doorway to the kitchen. Eavesdropping now? Mostly likely. Kara is at lost as to exactly why, considering all Kara and Alex are talking about are their sleep schedules. 

‘Yeah, yeah. I know.’ Kara taps the front of her shoe against Alex’s foot, for wont of something to do instead of keeping track of the Sith still standing in the doorway. 

Alex drags her foot away from Kara’s assault. ‘Stop it. Mum wants us to go on a stocking mission at some point this month. Says we’re running low on medicine. Says we should take the Sith.’ 

Kara glances up at the doorway to see that Lena has vanished. ‘Why? You know the rest of the group won’t like it.’

‘I think Mum is tempting fate, personally.’ Alex shrugs. ‘Possible that she wants to draw them out. Let them know we have her. Provoke them into doing something reckless.’ 

‘If Nia is right about Inquisitors, it won’t work.’ Kara reminds her. ‘Lena is a dime in a dozen.’ 

‘You were inside her head. Do you really believe that?’

Kara can’t come up with an answer.  
———

The restocking group goes out later that week. They all pile on Alex’s ship—Lena, Sam, James, Kara and Alex—and map out their journey to a small planet that is supposed to have an Empire hospital that they can rob. 

James had put up a fight about two aspects of the mission. First, bringing Lena with them. He claimed that she could turn at any moment and might contact her Sith overlords the second she found anything resembling a communication device. No one could really argue well enough against him, apart from saying that it was Eliza’s orders. It wasn’t enough to get him to stop frowning, but he boarded the ship with Lena without making any further complaints. 

The second was a moral issue with robbing a hospital. Empire or not, he argued, they shouldn’t be destroying or pillaging a place where people could go to get healed if the worst should happen. Alex staunchly reminded him that the only people that would be seeking medicine would be Sith soldiers that would later be trying to kill them. The moral high ground was lost, at that. 

Kara herself understands the point of view. Robbing a hospital makes her feel uneasy—not just because it will likely be heavily guarded. She is always caught between hating the Sith for their crimes against her family and remembering that they, too, are still people. She finds herself caught in that loop of thought when Alex starts the engine and they take off from the base.

The roar of the engine supplies the white noise that Kara needs to sink further down in her thoughts. She’s the copilot of this ship, so she really ought to be paying attention, but she finds herself watching the horizon instead. James, Sam and Lena are situated in the back. Sam is watching Lena with all the suspicion she seems capable of mustering.

_It’s nice to know you still think of the Sith as people._

The dry, sarcastic drawl is unmistakeable. Kara shifts in her seat, but doesn’t turn around lest she accidentally give away to everyone else that Lena and her are communicating again. It still feels forbidden. It still feels private. 

_Well, I didn’t kill you. Did I?_

_No. I suppose that would rather go against your code._

_You don’t know anything about my moral code._

_Kara feels Lena huff out something like a laugh. It’s quiet, and Kara cannot hear it above the roar of the engine, but somehow she knows that it has occurred._

_I meant the Jedi code. Were you ever officiated as a Jedi? Properly?_

_What good would it do for you to know that?_

_Call it an accidental curiosity._

_I don’t think you’re capable of accidents._

_Most of science is an accident. The most glorious of inventions. Even Kryptonian inventions. That final step to getting them to work is trial and error._

_Don’t talk about my people._

_It’s not an insult._

_You don’t get to talk about them. Not to me, not in my mind._

Kara feels uncertainty fill the air as she watches them leave the atmosphere and axis of their base’s planet. They float through space as Alex turns the ship in the desired direction. She can’t tell if she feels this uncertainty or if Lena does. 

_Does it matter to you that I wasn’t around when that happened?_

_No. You still follow them, their ways. The almighty Sith and their obsession with darkness._

_Like the Jedi are the picture of light?_

_I never said that._

_You lot can keep taking the moral high ground if it makes you feel any better, Kara. But I have a feeling I know more about the Jedi’s own darkness than you could ever hope to._

_What do you know about the Jedi?_

The ensuing silence tells Kara that she asked the exact wrong question. Their connection severs. It may be momentary, but Kara feels a void open up in her mind. Odd to think that she has come to recognise the feeling of Lena’s connection, in her mind. It is even odder to think that when it is not active, she finds herself missing it.  


Kara turns her head a little, then. She strains to try and catch a glimpse of Lena without giving way that that’s exactly what she’s doing. She catches Sam’s eyes instead. The Jedi’s posture is rigid, lightsaber clutched in her right hand. Ready for any misconduct, it seems. Sam gives her a small nod, seeming to communicate that she has everything under control should anything untoward happen. 

If Lena does try anything, Kara is not looking forward to finding out who would win in an all out fight—Lena or Sam. 

‘We’re here.’ Alex says. She scans their radars and communication devices. ‘No signs that anyone has spotted us. We’re still connected to the main radios in this galaxy. The Sith haven’t changed their frequency.’

‘Ready for landing?’ James checks.

‘Yep.’ Alex replies. 

The landing is surprisingly simple. The ship comes to the ground amongst tall foliage and trees, so the team know that it’s unlikely that anyone would spot them now that they’ve landed. They’re still far east of the hospital, but the trek doesn’t look too unpleasant. 

The team set up in the usual way—Alex at the front with Sam and James in the middle. Kara takes up the position at the rear, with Lena. There seems to be some kind of unspoken agreement that Kara is the one that will keep Lena in check, what with their connection and all. 

They make the trek in silence, watching and waiting for any signs that the Sith have caught on. Nothing happens, though, which makes Kara far more uneasy than she is willing to admit. 

_They’re not one for subtly. You’ll know when they’re there._

Kara turns her head to see Lena, standing next to her but looking at the horizon.

_Afraid of talking out loud?_

Lena looks at her, then. _Afraid of being told to shut up._

Kara has to stifle a laugh. 

Their half an hour journey allow them to see the hospital on the horizon. Alex turns to Lena, blaster high on her shoulder.

‘Alright. You know their tactics. What’s the best way in?’ 

James scoffs. ‘I don’t think we should ask her for help. Not unless we all want to die today.’ 

Lena rolls her eyes. ‘If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already.’

 _Comforting,_ Kara thinks. Lena side eyes her.

‘Come on.’ Alex prods. ‘What’s the best strategy?’

‘Don’t go through the main entrance.’ Lena points out. ‘Try one of the windows. One at a time. The Stormtroopers are notoriously bad at remembering that people can climb through them. If you can’t see them, chances are they haven’t realised you’re there yet.’ 

‘Alright.’ Sam says. ‘But if there’s any sign of trouble—‘

Lena sighs. ‘I know, I know. Saber to the gut and all that. You’re terribly obvious, Jedi.’ 

‘Kara.’ Alex says. ‘Hang back, guard her.’ 

‘Why me?’ Kara asks. ‘I’m more use to you fighting.’ 

‘You’re the only one I trust to keep her here and not kill her.’ 

So, the rest of the team move ahead. Kara and Lena hang back amongst the foliage. The chances of being seen from here are slim, but Kara makes the effort to crouch anyway. They can both see some supply boxes from here, but Kara doesn’t want to risk being seen by attempting to open them. She tells Lena as much, when Lena points out that they are there for the taking. 

‘Well, sure.’ Lena says. ‘But they’re not going to know who I am from back here.’ 

‘You’re still dressed like a Sith.’ Kara points out. ‘Since none of us had the foresight to tell you to change.’

‘I meant that you could go, check out the boxes. I’ll stay here.’ 

Kara eyes her. ‘And give you a chance to escape?’

Lena gives her an unimpressed look. ‘I’m not trying to escape. I have no weapons.’ 

‘I’m sure you could get creative. We’re both staying here.’ 

Lena sits down, at that. ‘God, you Jedi are dull. You take no risks.’ 

‘I took a risk letting you live.’ 

‘I mean on the battlefield. You always lose your fights because you’re not putting everything on the line.’ 

Kara feels the familiar icy wash of insult roll over her. ‘Don’t talk to me like that.’ 

Lena turns towards her, watching Kara’s expression. ‘There it is.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘That anger. That coldness.’ Lena smiles. ‘Do the others realise that you have it?’ 

Kara crosses her arms. ‘Of course they do. They know me.’ 

Lena considers this. ‘I don’t think they do.’

Before Kara can muster some kind of cutting reply, she sees the team make their way back over the hill towards them. James is stained with blood, but judging from the way that he’s moving it doesn’t appear to be his own. Sam and Alex are each heaving a box of supplies along with them. 

‘Stop pretending like you know me.’ Kara manages to mutter at Lena before the rest of team are within earshot.  
———

Everything continues on for a month or so. They have enough supplies that no one has any need to leave the base. Not that anyone would want to either, without an exact reason to travel somewhere else. Needless journeys have all taught them that it leads to unnecessary death. Kara continues on training Nia and Brainy in the ways of the Force. It's difficult and taxing for all involved, but they're getting there. Their troop could always use two more soldiers to fight against the Empire. So, Kara lets the exhaustion come as she teaches them some basic force movements.

Lena remains surprisingly absent from most gatherings. Kara isn't sure what's she doing to entertain herself, but she is glad that she's staying out of everyone's way. The sheer sight of her seems to provoke tension and argument. The whole routine brings a comfort to Kara's mind, the idea of being somewhere permanent and somewhere safe. She should have known that it wouldn't last. 

They finally arrive in the night. Kara has almost forgotten that they’d be looking for her, and for them. The roar of the engine is unmistakable, though. Kara hurries out of her room, lightsabers in hand, and jogs to the control room. Everyone is already there, including Lena. Kara watches her peer through the gap in their control room door. All things considered, it’s a terrible time to have someone invading. 

Lena balks at the sight of the ships coming from the sky. It is perhaps the most real expression Kara has ever seen on her face—not quite fear, the expression is not so bold, but perhaps it is almost there.

‘I swear.’ Lena says, as she takes in Sam’s grave expression. ‘I swear I didn’t do anything. I didn’t tell them where I was.’

‘I don’t believe you.’ Sam tells her, flatly. 

Kara fights her instinct to move between them. ‘That doesn’t matter now. We need to get everyone together and get our weapons. Where’s Nia?’ 

‘Out.’ Alex says, as she strides across the room. ‘Went on a nature trip with Eliza, Winn and Brainy. Something about getting them used to travel and missions. We’re on our own.’ 

Kara watches Darth Mortem’s ship land right outside the entrance. ‘We either run or fight. Take your pick.’ 

Lena seems to be contemplating choices of her own. ‘You won’t survive running. Not from him.’ 

‘Kara has beaten him once before.’ Alex reminds her. 

Lena manages a cold smile. ‘if you don’t think that wasn’t part of his plan, you weren’t paying attention.’ 

‘You weren’t there.’ Kara says, confusion furrowing her brow. ‘You don’t know what happened.’ 

Lena sets her shoulders and looks Kara directly in the eye. ‘I was on his ship. They called it a contingency plan. Me and four other Inquisitors.’ 

Kara feels betrayal slide down her spine like ice, in a way she can’t explain. ‘You—‘

They’re interrupted by the sound of Stormtroopers blasting the entrance to the control with their weaponry. It sounds like they have blasters and rocket launchers., judging from the racket they’re making. 

‘We don’t have long.’ Alex reminds them. ‘Someone lock up the Sith. We don’t need more people to fight.’

Lena lets Sam place handcuffs on her, perhaps still feigning her innocence. 

Kara turns both her lightsabers on and readies herself. ‘I’m going to take out the rocket launchers. Sam, you take care of the other Troopers.’ 

Sam nods and turns on her own weapon. The door crumbles not a second later. Kara holds her sabers aloft and waits for incoming blasts to deflect, but nothing comes. The dirt and dust that has risen from the ground makes a most omission picture, as Darth Mortem strolls through it.

Kara can’t help herself. She doesn't even have the self control to fight the instincts that come over her at the sight of him. She force throws Kal’s saber towards him. He ducks, predictably, and Kara watches as Kal’s saber cut through four Stormtroopers behind him before flying back to her. 

‘What a welcome.’ He says, eyeing her.  


‘I don’t know how your sister told you we were here, but we’re not going willingly.’ Sam declares. 

Lex smiles, an awful sight, and turns his attention to Lena. ‘I suppose I do have you to thank, after all.’ 

Lena’s face is blank. ‘I didn’t tell you I was here. Why would I do that?’ 

Lex shrugs. ‘Suppose you didn’t tell me. At least, not willingly.’

Kara doesn’t understand what he means, but it is clear that Lena does. Her veneer of emotionlessness breaks in one moment. The abject horror on her face almost has Kara move towards Lena and pull her into a hug. 

Kara takes the moment to look at Sam and Alex. Neither of them seem to have any more of an idea what is going on than she herself does. 

‘She didn’t.’ Lena says, hoarse. ‘Tell me she didn’t.’ 

Lex raises both his eyebrow at his sister’s display of emotion and sneers. ‘Surely you didn’t think it was just a rumour! Honestly, Lena, I expected better. I thought you knew. Such a smart mind, except where it matters.’

Lena grabs at the back of her neck, feels for something that she doesn’t find. She feels each of her wrist then, in a flurry and panic. 

Lex laughs. ‘You’re not going to be able to feel it. We don’t use archaic Jedi tech, for goodness sake.’ 

Kara watches Lena stare at her brother with a solemn expression. Her moment of panic is over, it appears. Kara sees Lena’s posture straighten, as if she’s just accepted whatever her brother has revealed. Kara tries to think about what on earth Lena was looking for when she feels the truth sink to the bottom of her stomach like a stone. Surely not. Surely even the Empress would not do that to her own child. 

‘No wonder you let me escape.’ Lena says, her voice cold. ‘I never left your sight, did I?’ 

Lex sighs, idly swinging his lightsaber in his hand. ‘Honestly, Lena, your need to state the obvious grates on my last nerve.’ 

‘How inconvenient for you.’ Lena drawls. ‘Before you kill me, tell me one thing. When did she do it? When I underwent initiation?’  


Lex appears perplexed, as if confused by his sister’s question. ‘Why would she bother waiting that long?’

Lena pauses. ‘No. She wouldn’t do that. She had no reason to. I was—why would she do that to a child?’ 

Lex huffs. ‘So you wouldn’t run away. A child doesn’t have the sense an adult has. Mother was concerned Father might tell you and you’d try to escape.’

‘Why would I try escaping if I found out you put a fucking tracking device in me?’

‘Not that.’ Lex rolls his eyes. ‘The more time you spend with Jedi, the dumber you become. Lena, think it through.’

‘I’m not a Luthor, am I?’ Lena asks.

Lex shrugs. ‘Only half, I’m afraid. Maybe the Jedi were right. Father was a sinful man, after all.’

Kara watches something flicker across Lena’s face. Lex if far too occupied watching his sister, she thinks. There will never be a better opportunity to catch Lex off guard. She takes a step toward Lex, intending to rush towards his and knock him off balance. 

The opportunity never comes. Just as Kara steps forward, she hears the distinct sound of a lightsaber being turned on. 

For the life of her, Kara cannot remember how it happened. Yet, there stands Lena—with her blood red lightsaber flying in a high arc towards her brother, no handcuffs in sight. The double blades spin and spin, endlessly, before Lex takes a step back and deflect the blades.

He grunts with the effort it takes to send Lena’s weapon back to her. ‘So dramatic. To think I wasn’t even going to kill you.’ 

‘Liar.’ Lena spits. ‘Who was my mother?’ 

Lex raises an eyebrow. ‘You’re an idiot if you think I’m going to tell you that.’ 

Lena rushes towards him, blade heavy in her hand, and slashes downwards. Lex deflects the blade withe ease, almost disappointed at the lack of effort it takes. 

‘Well, no sense delaying this any longer.’ Lex says. ‘Troopers, take out the rest of them.’ 

The blasts are coming towards Kara faster than she can react. Thankfully, Sam has skidded in front of her and blocks the beams of light. They shoot back to the Troopers, taking out two of them in the process. Still, two whole lines of them (twenty in total) stand behind Lex and shoot towards the Jedi. 

‘You go right, I go left.’ Sams says. ‘Alex cover us.’ 

They runs towards the Troopers, blades at the ready.

While dispatching Troopers, Kara watches the battle in the centre of the room take place. Lex seems to have the better of Lena. Several times, Kara think she’s watching the end of Lena. Lex catches her side with a swipe of his weapon. Kara winces as she watches the barest edge of Lex’s blade sizzle through Lena’s side. 

Lex laughs. ‘Still as obvious as you were when you were a child. Your technique has barely improved.’ 

Sam beheads the last Trooper and turns to Kara. ‘Should we help?’ 

‘We should get out of here.’ Alex says, instead. “While they’re distracted.’

‘We shouldn’t leave her.’ Kara argues. ‘She claimed asylum.’

‘And she lead them right to us.’ 

‘Not knowingly!’

Alex shrugs. ‘It’s unfortunate, but it’s still the truth. We take her with us and she’ll lead them right to us, again.’ 

‘What do you want to do?’ Sam asks. 

Alex nods towards the back entrance of the control room. ‘We go out the service entrance. Make our way back to the front of the base. Steal a ship, or go on foot. Try and put as much distance between them and us as we can.’ 

‘What about Eliza?’ Kara asks. ‘Winn, Brainy, Nia? Are we just going to abandon them too?’ 

‘Let’s hope that the Sith are gone by the time we get back. I’ll radio them, anyway, let them know to avoid the base for a while.’ 

‘I don’t like this.’ Kara argues. ‘Eliza wouldn’t like this, either.’

‘Eliza isn’t here.’ Alex states. ‘It’s her, or us. Come on, we need to go, Kara.’ 

Kara tries to will her feet to move and glances at Lena. The sight she sees makes her freeze, in complete shock. Lena has detached her double blades into single ones, in each hand, and is spinning at Lex in a whirlwind of absolute fury. Lex is dodging the strikes, by only barely. 

He tries to raise his hand to force choke her and she slices his hand clean off. He yells, but still manages to block her incoming blow. 

‘Kara, let’s move.’ Alex nudges her sister.

They make their way out to the back of the room, miraculously not gaining the attention of either Sith. Kara looks back one last time, to see Lex on the floor bleeding and Lena standing above him. She has one blade pointed at his neck and the other hanging idly by her side. 

Lex coughs, spurting up blood. ‘You won’t kill me. You don’t have the stomach. You never did.’ 

‘You don’t know me at all.’ Lena argues. 

‘But I do.’ Lex replies, a bloody smile appearing on his face. ‘Who do you think had you and that Jedi connect?’ 

Lena pauses, then slashes downwards. 

Kara cannot believe it. She is about to witness the end of Darth Mortem, killed by his own sister. Just as Lena is about to deliver the killing blow, she flies backwards. She hits the opposite wall with a sickening crack. 

Kara looks upwards, towards the door, to see Lilian Luthor standing still with an outstretched hand. The dread that overcomes her is unlike anything Kara has felt in a long time.

‘Run!’ She whispers, panicked, at Alex and Sam. 

‘What is it?’ Alex asks, as they pick up their pace and make their way through the hallways. 

‘The Empress is here.’


	9. i go over every word you said to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone. it's been a while. 
> 
> Thank you for your kind comments, as always. 
> 
> Chapter title from Banks, 'Sawzall.'

Kara wakes up screaming. Of course, she often wakes up screaming—it feels familiar, like an old jacket to slip into. The jacket is a little worn at the edges, stretched in places, accomodating in the way only an old piece of clothing can be. Comfortable.

Alex is rushing into the tent in an instant, eyebrows pinched together in worry. 

‘I’m fine.’ Kara manages, through gasping breaths. ‘I’m fine.’ 

Alex crosses her arms, to bely her concern. ‘Yeah, you totally sound fine.’ 

Kara gives her an annoyed look, when she calms down her heartbeat. 

Alex sits at the foot of her bed, not looking at her. ‘Was it Krypton?’

‘No.’ Kara says, slowly. ‘No. It wasn’t.’ 

‘What was it then?’ 

‘I….I don’t—know.’ 

Alex turns to her. ‘What do you mean you don’t know?’

Kara puffs out a breath helplessly. ‘I don’t know. I just remember being in a lot of pain. It wasn’t like my usual dreams. You know I dream in a lot of detail. This was just—darkness. And pain.’ 

Alex turns this over in her mind, staring past her sister. Then, she straightens up. The classic “Alex has made up her mind” posture. Kara waits for a her sister’s theory and is not disappointed. 

‘The Sith, maybe?’ 

Kara shrugs, wraps an arm around her knees as she pulls them up to her chest. ‘I can usually see her, though. It’s not like I just experience her emotions unless she’s… I see her and can talk to her. It’s not like whatever that was.’ 

‘So maybe it wasn’t Lena.’ Alex concludes. ‘That’s a relief.’ 

‘Is it?’ Kara asks. ‘She could be dead, Alex. We could have sentenced her to death.’ 

Alex gives her a scathing look. ‘Did you want to be the one to take on the Empress?’

Kara avoids her sister’s eyes. ‘No. But I still think we could have done more.’ 

‘We can do more from here. For everyone.’ Alex points out. ‘Any help we could have given would have led to your death and—‘

‘You think I’m more important than her.’ 

‘Obviously.’ Alex rolls her eyes. ‘You are my sister. And she is a Sith.’ 

Kara feels an uneasiness she can’t quite name. ‘How’s Sam?’ 

‘Worried. We know Ruby is safe with Eliza, but Sam doesn’t like being away from her.’

‘Understandable. Did you get the communication out?’

‘I think so. They should know they need to get to safety. We’ll regroup. Eventually.’

Kara sighs. ‘I’m sick of this. Running away. The Empire has turned us into refugees, over and over.’

Alex holds Kara’s eyes with a firm gaze. ‘Better a refugee than dead.’ 

‘He wouldn’t have thought so.’ 

Alex’s gaze softens. ‘Kara. It’s not like that worked out for him.’ 

Kara throws her hands in the air, trying to escape the tears welling in the corners of her eyes. ‘What is the point of this famed Force connection if I’m not allowed to use it? What’s the point of being the symbol of hope for a dead planet if I have to reject my name? What if it’s better to have made a statement and died, rather than live an entire life in hiding?’ 

Kara feels, as tears blur her vision, firm hands press down on her shoulders. Then, an embrace. 

‘Stop it.’ Alex pleads, into her ear, as she leans in. ‘I need you to stay alive, okay? Fuck statements. Fuck sentiments. I’d live in a cave and never see another soul if it meant you and I could stay alive, together.’ 

‘I feel like a failure, Alex.’ 

‘You’ve saved a lot of people. Throughout the years, you have. You saved Lena. You saved a Sith, Kara. Do you realise how rare that is? The rest of us were ready to kill her. You told us not to. You’re still carrying on their legacy, everyday. With your kindness. Using their name or not.’ 

Kara properly sobs then. She feels her tears be absorbed by her sister’s jacket and lets go of it all. The stress, the worry, the guilt. Alex’s arms remain tight around her, as she thinks back to the last time she was able to use her name. 

_‘Kal.’ Kara warns. ‘You’re going to attract too much attention.’_

_They’re standing in a training room. Kal is sweating, having just lost to Kara in another lightsaber duel. It always makes him petty and sensitive, so he decided to tell her about his plan to lure a prominent Sith Inquisitor to the current inhabitants in order to torture them and learn about Darth Mortem’s latest plans._

_‘Like you?’ Kal laughs. His eyes are cold. ‘No one even knows who you are.’_

_‘I have to do that.’ Kara reminds him. ‘To stay safe. You know I wouldn’t be doing that if I had any other choice.’_

_‘You do have a choice. You just like pretending you don’t.’ Kal force pulls his lightsaber to him. ‘You could be using your name to help people, like I am. It’s not all about the long game, Kara. Sometimes, to tip the scales of a war, you need to win a fucking battle.’_

_Kara smiles at him, in pity, even as she feels her heart breaking. ‘You grew up listening to stories of the rebels. I watched them die.’_

_‘It’s not my fault I was stolen before I knew who I was, Kara!’_

_‘I’m not saying that. Kal, I’m really not.’_

_Kal turns his lightsaber over in his hands. ‘If you weren’t such a coward, you would come with me and use your name. Your real name.’_

The whole plan was a train wreck, but Kal had spoken to Kara’s deepest fears. Even as Alex blatantly called her an utter idiot, Kara went out with Kal and interrogated the Inquisitor. They learnt about a few preplanned Sith attacks and even managed to stop a few in advance. It felt fantastic, to say to the world that she was Kara Zor El. Even if it was only for a short while and even if it was only directed at people who weren’t alive thereafter. 

It took three months of using her name, letting some refugees know that there was two surviving Kryptonians instead of one. It took three months of telling Sith soldiers that she was another Jedi hellbent on stopping the Empire’s plans for a controlled universe. It took three months before she watched Kal get killed right in front of her. 

She couldn’t even blame Kal, not really. He was too young to be a solider in the first place. A fourteen year old has no business turning himself into a hero, just because of his last name. He was reckless, and she encouraged him.

‘He made his choice.’ Alex murmurs. ‘You gotta stop turning this over in your mind. He made his choice. You didn’t force him to do.’ 

‘I didn’t mean to project that.’ Kara says. 

‘I know.’ Alex huffs out a little laugh. ‘You do it a lot, anyway.’ 

‘I could have convinced him to go into hiding.’

‘No one was convincing that boy of anything. He wanted to be a hero. He thought he could be mythic. He forgot about the hard part.’ 

‘He was so young, Alex. I should have taken responsibility for him.’

‘You did. You did your best, Kara.’

Kara succumbs to more tears. ‘Sometimes my best isn’t good enough.’  
———

Truth be told, Kara doesn’t even remember how they escaped the rebel base—under the nose of the Empress—and out to safety. She was too frantic to do anything except follow orders. Luckily, Alex had barked enough of them to get them out without any casualties. There wasn’t even a battle.

The three of them got settled on a couple of deserted planets, changing locations every other week. Alex sent messages upon messages on the rebel frequency—anything to tell her mother to get to another base, to avoid the other compromised one. Sam and Kara tried reaching out in the Force to find Eliza, to no avail. They stopped after a while, when the risks presented much more strongly than the benefits. 

They had no idea if their messages had gotten through or not. 

Kara still doesn't know that, as she looks out of the open end of her tent. She can just make out the beginnings of the sunlight. Their escape ship—a small, rundown tie fighter that was several models old—only had two tents stored in the back. So, they have a small camp. Alex says it makes it easier to when running. Kara argued that it makes it lonely. They agreed to disagree, but based on the slump in Alex’s shoulder, Kara knows that she feels it too. 

‘Anything out there?’ Alex says, sleep thickening her voice. 

Kara turns her head to see Alex sitting up, still half in her sleeping bag. 

‘No.’ Kara smiles. ‘For once.’ 

Alex relaxes then, tense spine bending into a slump in an instant. Kara knows that it must be hard on her—not knowing where her mother is, if she’s safe, or if she even knows where they are—but she tries so hard not to let it show. If there is one thing Kara regrets the most that is not inherently related to Krypton, it’s that she managed to drag Alex into the mess of everywhere. The rebels thrive on the message that they’re going to overthrow a corrupt Empire, but they rarely mention the bloodshed, sweat and effort that it is going to take to get them there.

‘It’s cynicism o’clock, is it?’ 

‘Hmm?’ Kara turns towards her sister. 

Alex taps her temple with one finger. ‘You think so goddamn loud.’ 

Kara huffs out a laugh. ‘I—‘ 

_‘Don’t you think it’s time you gave up this little act?’_

Kara feels every muscle in her body constrict. Alex watches her face and goes to speak, but Kara holds up a hand. She can feel herself projecting to some place far in the distance. It’s as if her mind has detached from her body and is floating through the ethers of space. Uncontrolled by the present, she can see a glimmer of light if she concentrates hard enough. Besides that, she can hear the voice of the Empress. 

_‘Really, Lena. This whole resistance to the proper ways of being a Sith was amusing when you were fourteen, but it does become a little tiresome after a while. Cutting the hand off your own brother? Why, I could kill you just for that.’_

_‘You won’t.’_

_‘Why ever not? It’s not like you’re my child.’ Lillian sighs. ‘You disgraced your brother. You disgraced the Sith. Worse, you disgraced me.’_

_‘Mother—‘_

_‘Do you know what I do to traitors, Lena? You watched me govern the Empire for years, so I can only presume that you do.’_

_‘Please—‘_

_‘But let me refresh your memory for a moment.’_

Kara feels a searing pain in her mind. It’s as if someone has placed a hand on her head and let the full power of Force lightning sear the edges of her very brain. The pain crackles and burns and blinds for what feels like an age. Then, it stops. 

The opening to the tent rips open and Sam stands there, lightsaber raised. 

‘Are you guys okay?’ 

Alex nods, albeit grimly. ‘I think. Kara, can you speak?’ 

‘I—‘ Kara gasps for breath, trying to calm her heart. ‘I think so.’ 

‘You screamed.’ Alex says. ‘What happened?’

‘Force vision. I think. Or—the connection. I don’t know. Lena was there, so was the Empress.’ 

Sam’s eyebrows furrow. ‘And you felt something? Was it Lena trying to break the connection?’

‘No. I don’t think so. The Empress was talking about betrayal. I couldn’t see much. Then she said something about a demonstration and then all I felt was pain.’

Sam lowers her lightsaber. ‘Torture? Punishment for attacking Darth Mortem, I guess. The Sith really don’t take disruption of the hierarchy lightly, do they?’ 

‘Don’t know.’ Kara manages. ‘Lex did mention that he bridged the connection between Lena and I.’ 

Alex looks at her sister, surprised. ‘You think it could be a trap.’ 

Kara shrugs, overwhelmed and helpless. ‘It could be. I mean, she’s attacked and almost killed a Darth. Would the Empress really keep her alive? Especially if she’s not her real daughter? This whole thing could be staged. A trick to try and get me to save her.’ 

‘Were you going to?’ Sam asks, her tone judgmental and harsh. 

‘I thought about it.’ Kara challenges. ‘We abandoned what was possibly an innocent person. I wasn’t going to just leave her with the Empress forever.’ 

‘Innocent?’ Sam asks, balking. ‘She’s a Sith! Who’s to say what horrific things she’s done? Worse, she’s an Inquisitor and one of the best at that. Do you honestly think that she became that high ranking that quickly by staying innocent?’ 

‘Of course not!’ Kara argues. ‘But she claimed asylum! It would be unjust to leave her with the people she was trying to escape.’ 

Sam rolls her eyes. ‘Your naïveté is exhausting. If we were Sith and Lena was a Jedi, she’d be long dead by now.’ 

‘We’re not Sith.’ Kara states. ‘We have to act differently to them or we’re no better.’ 

‘This is war.’ Sam grounds out. ‘We’re going to die if we try and claim the moral high ground.’ 

With that, she walks out. Kara gets up to follow her, to talk this out, but Alex’s hand on her shoulder stops her from moving. 

Kara shrugs away. ‘Alex. We won’t survive if we keep up this infighting. I have to go talk to her.’ 

‘Don’t.’ Alex says, softly. ‘You’ve both said your point. Cool off and let her do the same.’ 

‘Are you taking her side over mine?’ Kara asks, half-heartedly.

Alex rolls her eyes. ‘Cut the dramatics.’ 

Kara huffs. ‘I know you all think I’m wrong. I know we’re at war, but claiming asylum is important.’ 

‘Would you think it were so important if Lilian Luthor claimed asylum?’

Kara shoots her a look. ‘Do you think how different life could have been if people thought claiming asylum still meant something? It’s not about principle.’

Alex sighs. ‘We should get moving.’ 

Kara wants to argue more, to really get the rest of this aggression and hurt to move out of her chest, but she’s also knows it’s a moot point. Alex agrees with her, really, but there’s not much they can do to remedy the situation now. 

So, instead of falling victim to several pointless arguments, they try and make use of the environment and restock supplies. They manage to find a creek where they can refill water—though they’re not absolutely certain it’s drinkable—but food proves to be more scarce. They eat little and sometimes not at all. They spend a week on this little planet that Kara can’t recall the name of, slowly trying to map out some semblance of a plan. 

Kara tries to use the Force to reach out to any living thing, but Alex warns her that it might be more trouble than it's worth. Kara doesn’t see much of a point in being careful, since the Luthors already know she’s alive, but she heeds Alex’s word out of good faith. They’re on the fringes of the map now, and they’ll need to move soon so that they don’t actually starve to death.

Sam remains frosty, though Kara knows that she’ll still do her job every time she takes the night watch. Life passes in drabs—uneventful—mostly because they can’t think of a better plan. This Resistance is nothing like the Resistance when Kal was alive, they have been driven out of most strongholds by superior forces. People lost hope when Kal was killed and Kara disappeared from the galaxies’ collective minds. What hope does Kara have of sparking the revolution again, if she is stuck in an endless loop of running away?  
Kara stares at the night sky—unable to determine if the stars she’s gazing at are real, or if they simply aircraft travelling in the distance. She is on watch tonight, which means that her mind has the opportunity to wander. It always does, too, when given the opportunity. Kara had trained herself not to think and reminisce too much, it prevents progress, but it’s hard to stop herself when she has nothing else to do.

_Am I interrupting a session of self pity?_

Kara starts, lightsaber in hand, and looks around her. No one is there, though. Quite honestly she shouldn’t have expected that someone would be, because she recognises the voice in the back of her mind. She turns off her lightsaber, looks at her surroundings once again just to be sure, then relaxes. 

_No._ Kara replies. _I’m a little surprised to hear you._

_Not much else I can do, I’m afraid._

_You’re imprisoned?_

_Don’t sound so surprised. I’m sure you’ve heard stories about Inquisitors who’ve betrayed the Empire._

_I would’ve thought that the Empress’s daughter would’ve been the exception to the rule._

_Her son, maybe._

_Surely he wouldn’t let you just rot in prison._

_I attacked a Darth. It stands to reason that the least they would do is put me somewhere where they can contain me._

_The Empire love their rules._

_Well, it’s not an incomparable vestige of power if one silly little Inquisitor with a lightsaber can destabilise it._

_You sound like them._

_I am one of them._

_No, I mean—you sound like her._

There is a static filled silence on the other end. Kara can’t tell if Lena has taken her leave of their connection or if she’s simply trying to find something to say. Kara is left, once again, feeling like she has tried over an invisible line. For someone who keeps reaching out, Kara can’t help but feel like she is the one keeping their connection alive.

 _I want you to know that if I could leave, I would._ Lena says, finally. 

_The jail?_

_This conversation._

_What do you mean?_

_As far as I can tell, I’m not in a jail. I believe they’ve kept me imprisoned in other ways._

_That seems excessive._

_Not if they want to track you._

_You think they can do that?_

_As unlikely as it seems, I’m sure Mother has found a way._

_Why tell me that? If you’re still one of them?_

_Call it a head start. Repaying some kind of debt, considering you kept the other Jedi from slicing my head off my shoulders the minute I set foot outside your base._

_Do you know anything else?_

_Of course not. Surely you would expect better of the Empire, Kara._

_Call me optimistic._

_I don’t think I will._

Kara laughs, despite herself. Lena is clearly trapped and only talking to her to avoid going insane. Solitary confinement will do irreparable things to a person’s psyche, but solitary confinement inside your own mind is a punishment doubly cruel.

_I thought they would have killed you by now._

_Do I detect a note of disappointment in your tone?_

_No. Of course not._

_Of course not? I’m one of them, you’ve said it yourself. You can hardly be blamed for wishing to see me dead. You might even say that I deserve it._

_You claimed asylum._

_So you kept saying._

_You don’t know what it means, do you?_

_I understand the basic principle._

_It was a principle invented by the Kryptonians._

_I know._

_It was integral to our culture. Stronger together. That applied to all._

_Even those who killed your people?_

_Why are you pushing this, Lena? Are you trying to make me go back on my word? Say that things would be easier if you died?_

Lena sighs. Kara watches the horizon while she waits for her counterpart to answer. 

_I’m trying to understand._

_Understand what?_

_The depth of your kindness, in truth._

_It’s not kindness, it’s—_

_It wasn’t a slight._

Kara doesn’t know what to say, so she says nothing. Lena doesn’t speak again, and Kara feels their connection fade slowly in the back of her mind. Lena is gone, at least for now. If the Sith to be believed about her current predicament then she’ll be back. Either she’ll get bored enough to prompt conversation or the Luthors will want her to track Kara. Kara shouldn’t let her, not really, but she fears she isn’t strong enough to keep her out. 

Besides, Alex would say that connection gives them a tactical advantage. Every time Lena reaches out, they know that they need to relocate. 

‘Speaking of which.’ Kara mutters, as she gets up from her mat positioned between the two tents. 

She wakes Alex first. Her sister is alert within seconds, though her hair and appearance still show signs of sleep. Kara explains her conversation with Lena.

‘Well, alright then.’ Alex sighs. ‘Let’s get this show on the road.’ 

Alex decides to wake Sam. Kara and her relationship is still on thin ice, and Kara isn’t sure how she’ll react to finding out that Kara is still in communication with a Sith. Better to have Alex take the brunt of the confusion and anger, because she has a chance of calming her down. 

They cram into the small tie fighter as soon as they can. Alex plugs in the coordinates to some planet Kara has never heard of, but is supposed to be relatively abandoned. 

‘Are you sure there aren’t scavengers?’ Kara asks. 

Alex gives her a pointed look. ‘As sure as I can be.’

So off they go. They must be in Wild Space, seeing as Kara can’t recognise any of the area they travel through. They pass by several small planets until they reach what must be Alex’s destination. It takes a few hours, until Alex slows the ship to a complete stop. Kara checks the telecommunications, but there’s nothing on their radar. Sam is suspiciously silent, so Kara looks back to see her staring (more or less) at nothing. 

‘Sam?’ Kara says. 

Sam jolts. ‘Yeah?’

‘Are you ready to make landing?’

‘Yeah.’ Sam shrugs. 

‘Are you okay?’ Alex asks, eyes still on the planet in front of them. 

‘I was trying to find Ruby.’ 

Alex winces. ‘She’ll be safe with Eliza.’ 

‘I know.’ Sam admits, sounding tired beyond her years. ‘I just want to know where she is.’ 

Alex and Sam share a sympathetic look. Kara watches the exchange with interest and guilt.

‘We’ll find them.’ Kara says. ‘The Force will guide us there.’ 

Sam smiles at her for the first time since they escaped. ‘I hope you’re right.’

They land shortly thereafter. The planet seems as uninhabited as they’d hope, but they still settle in a cave just to be safe. They park the tie fighter in a rocky outcrop, where it blends into the environment. Alex takes one look at the overcast skies and says that she hopes it doesn’t rain. Kara laughs and tells her that the fighter is not old enough to rust.

The cave is big enough to house all three of them, in seperate little areas. It’s just a touch narrow, though, which Kara realises when she can feel the barest edge of her head touch the cave roof. She assumes a more hunched posture in order to move about freely. 

‘That’s what you get for being taller than me.’ Alex mutters, when she spots Kara’s drawn in shoulders.

Kara laughs. ‘It’s not my fault you didn’t grow once you hit fourteen.’ 

Sam laughs at that, too. They seem to have reached an unspoken agreement. Kara doubts that there will be any apologies, but she isn’t sure she needs them. The stress of the war, the Resistance and everything else is bound to have people snapping at each other’s heels.

They finally, finally rest once they’ve set up their small camp. They forgo a fire due to a lack of proper ventilation and a lack of desire to attract attention. So, they shiver in their sleeping bags while Alex takes first watch. Kara finds herself too jittery to sleep, so she watches Alex watch the night sky out of the mouth of the cave. Then, her vision blurs and she sees grey, fuzzy objects appear before her eyes. 

She squints, closes her eyes, tries to wave them away, but every time she opens her eyes they return. Eventually, she stops fighting it. The images become clearer. She’s looking at a room, some kind of bedroom. The metal walls are covered in black and red tapestry, interwoven in clean lines. There is a wooden desk, with Sith carvings in the centre and down the legs. 

She feels herself turn and sees a plush, large four-poster bed with matching side tables. To the side, there are high-tech, clean blasters hanging on the wall. A lightsaber rests on one of the side tables, in a sleek holder.

 _Lena?_ She calls out, but no one answers. The room is empty. She’s the only one there. 

‘Kara!’

Kara shakes herself free of the visions to see Alex lying flat on the ground, struggling against an unknown force as she tries to get up. Kara wriggles free of her sleeping bag in an instant. She pulls her lightsabers towards her and gets up. 

‘Sam.’ She hisses. ‘Get up.’ 

Sam readies herself as quickly as Kara.

‘Stay with Alex.’ Kara says to Sam, who nods in agreement. 

Kara steps out past the mouth of the cave, lightsabers raised high.

‘Where are you?’ Kara demands. ‘Show yourself!’

She doesn’t see anyone, but she hears a distinct whirring. She ducks just in time, before a spinning yellow lightsaber slices into the rock behind her. It becomes back faster, but Kara manages to deflect with her own weapon. 

‘Who are you?’ A smooth voice asks, in return.

Kara concentrates on the air around her, on the environment. She doesn’t hear anything but she feels something drop behind her. She spins around to block a strike from her foe. The other woman drops to try and kick Kara’s foot out from under her, but Kara steps back and slices downward.

The other woman is acrobatic enough to dodge to her left and regain a standing position. Kara jabs to her left and then her right, alternating strikes with her and Kal’s lightsabers. The other woman deflects them all, shuffling back and forth so that Kara never gains the physical upper hand. They come to a deadlock when Kara blocks a strike and crosses her lightsabers, holding their weapons together in a fuse of bright light and energy. 

‘Are you a Sith?’ Kara asks. 

The other woman laughs. ‘A Sith with a yellow lightsaber?’ 

‘Then who are you?’

‘You’re the intruder. Honour demands that you reveal your identity first. How do I know you’re not an assassin?’ 

Kara could tell her that she is equally as worried that someone has sent an assassin after Kara herself. So, she takes a chance. She knows what a yellow lightsaber means. 

‘Kara Danvers.’ She pauses. ‘Kara Zor El.’ 

The other woman steps back and turns off her lightsaber immediately. ‘The rumours are true. You really are still alive.’ 

Kara turns off her own lightsabers and slides them into their respective slots in her belt. ‘And you are?’ 

The other woman gives her a charming smile. ‘Bold of you to assume I don’t think you’re an imposter.’ 

Kara holds back a heaving sigh. Of all the nights to be ambushed. ‘I’m not an imposter.’ 

‘The Kryptonians are dead. They have been since Kal El fell to the hands of Lex Luthor. Everyone knows that. You could simply be a human who bears a strong resemblance to a Kryptonian. There have been pretenders in the past.’ 

Kara feels offence bubble underneath her skin. ‘Why do I have to prove myself to you?’ 

‘You don’t have to. We could simply continue our duel and see who comes off second best. Take the word of the winner. The other will be dead.’ 

‘My lightsabers.’ Kara says, as she pulls them out of her belt. ‘They’re made of platinum Kryptonite.’ 

‘And I suppose I’m just to take your word on that.’

‘My other companions can confirm my identity.’ 

‘I don’t doubt it. Collusion.’ 

‘Lady, I don’t know who you think you are, but I really don’t have time for this.’ 

The other woman turns her lightsaber on and raises it in a ready position. ‘I’m always open to round two.’ 

So, Kara does the only thing her sleep deprived brain can think of. She takes a deep breath and focuses her mind. Then, she relives the one memory she’d been trying to avoid since Krypton had fallen. She feels her mind connect to the other woman’s and she pushes the imagery of that event into the other woman’s mind. 

_She’s on a ship. A small one, the last one, that her parents had put her into right before it was too late. She is floating away from Krypton, released from the planet’s gravitational pull. Her ship has been programmed to land on the nearest, safest planet, but it had not been engineered for speed._

_She watches as the second Death Star aims a beam of light straight for her home planet. She watches that beam of light make impact with the planet and—_

_She watches her planet erupt in a fury of fire and force. She watches as the very foundation of her planet explodes and burns into millions of pieces. Irreparable._

The other woman gasps and drops her lightsaber. Then, she looks up at Kara with a stare of profound grief and shame. 

‘My name—‘ she begins, when she recovers her breath. ‘Is Nyssa Al Ghul. I’ve been looking for you.’


	10. heaven have her in its sacred keep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another instalment, my pals. Enjoy! 
> 
> Have I edited this? not really. Am I posted it anyway? absolutely. 
> 
> Title is from The Sleeper by Edgar Allen Poe.
> 
> As always, love reading all your comments and such as this fic gets updated sporadically.

Nyssa doesn’t explain everything right away. At least Kara has initial context, though, considering she already knows who Nyssa is. The infamous Sith turned grey Force user hadn’t escaped anyone’s notice, though the Empire assured itself that she was merely a traitor and no one of any consequence. The Al Ghuls were shamed. Nyssa’s father stripped of his rank as Sith Master and that was that. Or so it seemed. Sara Lance invariably came up in the story about Nyssa’s fall from the Sith ranks, considering that she was the one Jedi that Nyssa couldn’t beat. Or wouldn’t beat, the stories would say. Rumours assured that Nyssa had all the physical capabilities and talent to beat Sara in hand to hand combat, but she simply hadn’t wanted to. 

Instead, she feigned capture in order to escape the Empire’s watchful eye and had defected as soon as the opportunity would allow. The Republic had tried to claim Nyssa as their own, to build yet another Sith-turned-Jedi into their ranks, but legend would have it that Nyssa refused them too. No one really knew why. Kara still doesn’t know why. 

Nyssa makes her way into their cave, with Kara gesturing to Sam that all is okay. Alex gasps, trying to regain her breath from the effort it took straining against Nyssa’s force push. 

‘You said you were looking for me.’ Kara reminds the other woman. 

Nyssa surveys Alex and Sam. ‘Yes.’ 

‘Any chance that you could mention why?’ Alex rasps. 

Nyssa turns to Kara. ‘Do you trust these two?’   
‘With my life.’ 

‘Well.’ Nyssa sighs. ‘I suppose I can’t be held accountable if you have poor judgment, in the end.’ 

Kara balks. ‘One is my sister and the other is a Jedi Knight.’ 

Nyssa surveys her with a critical look, so cavalier in its origin that it unsettles Kara. ‘I’ve been betrayed by both.’ 

Nyssa waves her hand then, apparently considering the matter of no more importance. Then, she gestures for them to follow her. Kara helps Alex up and they share a concerned look. 

‘Do you know where we’re going?’ 

‘She didn’t kill me.’ Kara says. ‘That’s got to count for something.’

Alex manages a grim laugh. ‘I wish I shared your optimism.’ 

Nyssa leads them for what feels like an age. Shoes crunching on gravel and rock, Kara starts to wonder if maybe Nyssa is just leading them around for the hell of it. Kara suspicion isn’t eased when Nyssa conducts all of her traveling in a stoic silence. Eventually, though, she stops. The rest of them pause, exchange confused glances, and wait. 

Nyssa force-pushes a seemingly ordinary boulder away from them. It opens up what looks to a dark tunnel or hole in the ground. Sam looks at it, quizzically. 

Nyssa looks between them all. ‘If any of you betray this location, I will hunt you to the end of all galaxies.’ 

‘We won’t.’ Kara responds, in an instant. 

Then, Nyssa jumps into the opening she created. Kara waits for an invitation that never comes. Then, she looks at Alex—who shrugs—and follows suit. The darkness that follows is unsettling, but it ends quickly. Then, once Kara’s feet hit solid ground, it takes her a moment to adjust to the light. She moves out of the way of Alex and Sam, who will soon follow, and takes in a hallway made of jagged rocks with fire lit torches lighting the way. 

Nyssa is leaning against the left hand side of the hallway, one hand on her lightsaber—her she’s studying the handle with idle interest. Kara approaches her. 

‘What is this place?’  
Nyssa looks up, hair framing her face. ‘You’ll find out soon.’ 

‘You’re being always secretive for someone who said they were looking for me.’

‘I can’t afford not to be.’ 

Kara can’t find a good response to that, so she says nothing. The attention is shifted anyway, when Sam arrives on the scene. Alex follows shortly thereafter, with Sam extending her arm to force-pull Alex gently onto the ground; feet first. Alex clears her throat, it echoes in the quietness. 

‘Should we go?’ She asks. ‘Whenever it is we’re going?’

Nyssa nods and leads them all down the hallway. Kara tries to quell the nerves that exist on the fringes of her conscious mind, but she can’t. Why exactly had Nyssa been looking for her?

 _You’re a symbol._ Nyssa’s voice floats into her mind. 

_I guess I should be flattered?_

_You’re a source of hope for people. You should be flattered about that._

_What is this place, really?_

_A fortress to some. A refugee camp to most. I help the people the Jedi see no use in helping. I rescue the people the Sith are hunting._

_The Jedi swore oaths to protect people from harm, I don’t think there’s a person the Jedi would not help._

_They have their war effort, first and foremost. They will help people who they believe can contribute. Those that don’t contribute become heartfelt stories they tell themselves about the Empire’s ruthlessness._

_You can’t hold the Jedi accountable for the Empire’s actions._

_But I can question their inaction. Don’t tell me you’re a purist, Kara, or there’s no use in us continuing our acquaintance._

_I could never be considered a purist. Not after what I’ve done._

_Oh? Are there bloody stories about the last Kryptonian that haven’t made their way across the galaxies?_

_I have been a refugee most of my life. There are always going to be stories that the resistance don’t hear about._

_We do what we can to survive. I understand that._

Nyssa stops walking once they reach an incline, then she opens a door. They all step past the doorway and into what appears to a cavern, turned into some kind of community centre. Chairs and tables are set up across the area—with people chatting amongst themselves. Torches light up the area. Children are sitting in a circle, at the far end of the room, playing with wooden toys.

‘There are few rooms available here.’ Nyssa tells them. ‘I can room you all together, if that’s something you’re interested in.’ 

‘We’ll take what we can get.’ Alex smiles. 

Nyssa does not return the smile, but something relaxes in her posture. ‘Third door on the left will lead to your room. There will be clothes and storage space there. The kitchen is through the hallway on the far end. Everything in there is for communal use, but we expect that you will contribute where you can.’

‘Do you have restocking missions?’ Sam asks. ‘A team of people that we can work with?’ 

Nyssa facial expression changes into something close to offence, but more hurt than annoyed. ‘The people here are not warriors, Jedi. They are the people that the resistance saw as too much effort to save.’

‘You’re the only Force user here.’ Kara concludes. ‘Right?’ 

‘Not anymore.’ Nyssa gestures to Kara. ‘Go get acquainted with your lodgings. I’m sure you all need the rest.’ 

‘I want to know why you were looking for me.’ Kara protests. 

‘I told you.’

‘I’m a symbol wherever I am. You didn’t need to try and find me.’   
Nyssa sighs. ‘I was trying to find you so I could help you. So I could keep you alive.’ 

Kara feels a swell of emotion she can’t name. ‘Why?’

‘I promised someone a long time ago I’d look after your people.’

‘Who?’

‘I won’t do this here.’ Nyssa glances around.

‘Just tell me.’ Kara pleads. ‘Please.’ 

‘I knew your Aunt.’ 

Kara stands there, unable to figure out how to respond. She feels Alex place a hand on her shoulder. 

‘No.’ Kara says, eventually. ‘You can’t of known my Aunt. She died a long time ago.’ 

‘To your people, maybe she did. Krypton did always value tradition. She flaunted that.’

‘You’re lying. If you knew her—‘

‘She was my Master.’ 

‘No. That doesn’t make any sense.’ 

‘You had to know she defected.’ 

‘I—I was told that she died when I was ten.’ Kara says, her vision swimming. ‘She died. You can’t of known her, that’s impossible.’

Kara feels her breathing quicken right along with her pulse. Her hands shake. She can’t seem to stop herself from clenching them into fists. Nyssa’s expression grows from confused to concerned. Alex tries to herd Kara towards their room but she can’t get her feet to move. 

‘That—that can’t be right.’ Kara insists. ‘You can’t of known her. You’re lying. You have to be lying.’ 

‘I wish I were.’ Nyssa admits.

‘Why should I believe you?’ Kara asks, her voice raw. ‘I don’t even know you.’ 

‘I can show you.’ Nyssa says. ‘But not now. You’re in no state—‘

‘Don’t tell me what I can handle!’ Kara shouts. ‘You don’t—you don’t know what I can…’

Her breathing gets, perhaps impossibly, faster. She feels herself slip into the complete control of panic. She doesn’t know what to do besides try to get some space. Why is everyone so close to her? Why is everyone trying to crowd her? She backs away, feels herself swatting at people, at everything. 

She hears a distant crash but can’t register what has made the noise. Everything feels like it has slowed down and is simultaneously too much, all at once. 

_Kara._

Her sister’s firm voice gives her pause. 

_Alex. I can’t—I don’t—_

_Count your breaths. In and out, remember? Count them with me.  
Alex. it’s not going to work. I—_

_Try, for me. Please?_

_I—One._ She takes a breath, times them with her counting. _Two. Three. Four. Five. Six._

She feels her heart rate slow and her breathing even out. Then Kara can actually recognise where she is and what has just happened. She has just force-pushed some empty chairs and tables into a far away wall. There is a small crowd of panicked people being ushered by Nyssa out of the room. 

Kara feels sick with guilt. It has been so long since this has happened. 

Alex gives her a consoling look. ‘It’s not your fault. Don’t think for one second that this was your fault.’

For a second, Kara thinks that Alex is talking about the damage caused by her panic attack. Then, she thinks back. The last time she saw her Aunt was when she was just turning ten—Astra had given her a beautiful bracelet of Jedi and Rao symbols that Kara had lost when fleeing the planet. Astra had been cryptic that day and told Kara that she was going on a journey that would take her away from Kara and that she might be gone for a very long time. The bracelet was a momento, something that Kara could remind Astra by.   
Kara hadn’t told anyone of that conversation after it had happened. She had assumed that everyone knew, as Astra was a Jedi Master and was often called away on important matters. Kara was told a few weeks later that Astra had died. Was that the night she defected?

‘Alex.’ Kara says. ‘I could have told someone.’ 

‘You didn’t. You were a child. There was nothing you could have done, now or before. How could you have known?’

Sam enters Kara’s field of vision. ‘People have their own free will, Kara. She was going to leave regardless. I doubt anything could have stopped her.’ 

‘I could have stopped her.’ Kara murmurs. ‘She loved me. She would have stayed for me.’ 

Alex guides Kara into their room. Sam stays in the community centre to clean up. Kara doesn’t know how to make sense of her thoughts or her feelings. All Kryptonians were Jedi. Their unbreakable bond with the Force meant that they would never defect to the Dark Side. Rao was their light and their only light. To defect to the Dark side meant to renounce the light—to renounce even Rao himself.

It was heresy, or worse, it was to renounce your own culture and the way of life embedded in their people for millennia. Kara can’t even fathom why the Astra that she knew would _think_ of doing such a thing, let alone actually do it. Her first and only instinct is to believe that Nyssa is lying. Would a supposed ex-Sith and almost-Jedi really know more about her Aunt than Kara herself? 

An Alex-like voice tells her to consider what Nyssa would gain by lying about a person that Kara thought was dead for years. Died a Jedi, more specifically. Kara considers this, in the quiet of their room, sitting on one of the single beds. Alex herself is watching her from the doorway. 

‘What?’ Kara says, tone neutral. 

Alex holds up her hands. ‘She’s probably not lying.’ 

‘I didn’t say anything.’

‘Your face said it all.’ 

‘I don’t understand it, Alex. Why? Why join the Sith? Why renounce Rao?’ 

Alex shrugs and sits next to Kara. ‘I know it’s confusing, but she would have only showed one side of herself to you. You were a kid.’

‘But I _knew_ her Alex. I really thought I knew her. We had so many conversations about ethics and the Force. She never once let on that she believed in the Empire—the Empire that called us weak!’

‘I know it might be hard for you to believe right now, but she could both have been a Sith and loved you. The Sith aren’t cartoon villains running around preaching the end of the Jedi. They’re people too.’ 

Kara doesn’t know how to respond to that, so she doesn’t. Alex sits with her a little while longer and then takes the silence as her cue to leave. Kara can’t stay in her mind, for fear of succumbing to another panic attack, so she finds herself sitting there with the Force echoing quietly in the background. 

She can feel Sam’s presence—still in the community centre by any guess. Her presence is like a warm breeze or the sound of rain. It’s not obvious enough that Kara can feel it all the time, not unless she’s concentrating, but it’s of some comfort to know that Kara can feel her; if she tries. Nyssa is there, too. As a somewhat more tenuous presence—crackling in and out of Kara’s mind like electricity or the occasional flash of lightning—Kara isn’t quite sure what to make of Nyssa. She has a clear and powerful connection to the Force, she’d need to in order to keep Kara from sensing her presence consistently, but what does she use it for all the way down here?

A third presence becomes apparent, which confuses Kara at first. Then, as she steadies her heartbeat with some deep breathing, the murky figure becomes clearer.

_I was wondering when you were going to recognise me._

_Have you—are you always there?_

_As far as I can tell, yes. If it makes you feel any better, you’re always there in the back of my mind too._

_Can you see me?_

_No. Not unless we’re talking, like this._

_I can’t see you._

Kara hears Lena sigh. There’s something heavy and resigned to the noise, as if she’s already berating herself for what she’s about to do.

_Stand up._

_What?_

_I mean it, stand up. I’m the scientist, Kara, best you just go along with it._

So, Kara stands up. She feels a little weird about it, but the insistence in Lena’s voice piques her curiosity.

_Now, breathe. Focus on making your heart rate low._

_Are you going to try and make me meditate?_

_Something like that._

Kara breathes. She focuses on extending her spine, so that her breathing evens out the tension in her shoulders. She closes her eyes.

_Good. Now focus on my voice._

_I am._

_Well, focus harder. Try to pinpoint where I am._

Kara listens to the sound of Lena’s voice—imagines that she’s standing there in the room with her, despite being trapped in an Empire prison. 

_Open your eyes._

Kara does as she’s told and almost gasps at the clear image of Lena, in Sith garb, in front of her. 

‘You look like you’re really here.’ Kara says.

‘I don’t why you looked so shocked. You’ve seen me in our Force connection before.’

‘Not intentionally. Not on purpose.’ 

Lena raises her eyebrows. ‘You mean all the other times were accidents?’

Kara shrugs, suddenly insecure. ‘Kind of. Half on purpose?’

‘Damn.’ Lena swears. ‘I really can’t get a handle on you.’ 

‘Thanks.’

‘You’re very interesting. Scientifically speaking.’ 

‘Only scientifically speaking?’ Kara teases.

Kara watches Lena’s expression shift, seeming to fight itself. Her face settles on stoic neutralism.

‘How is life imprisonment going?’ Kara asks, for wont of changing the subject. 

Lena relaxes, then. ‘Terribly boring. I get all this time to think up scientific theories but no way of actually writing them down.’

‘I’m sure the guards would get you a piece of paper if you ask. I mean what’s the harm you could do with that?’ 

‘Oh, no, they’re not allowed to see me. They think I’m going to mind control them to let me out.’

‘I guess you didn’t earn the title of top Inquisitor just because of your last name, then.’ 

Lena’s lips purse in befuddled amusement. ‘Top Inquisitor isn’t a title.’ 

‘I know, I mean, that’s what we think of you as. Darth Mortem’s sister, the best Inquisitor. We thought that was why you were given those top missions a few years back. I heard about them through the grapevine.’ 

‘My reputation precedes me.’ Lena says, though it’s without any joy.

Kara suddenly realises the opportunity she has, like a sudden and bright spark in her mind. She could confirm Nyssa’s story right now, assuming that Lena will tell her truth. She straightens her spine and takes a breath to quell her growing nerves. She prays that Lena will be honest.

‘I want to ask you a question.’

‘Don’t you always?’

‘Lena.’ Kara says, a pleading tinge to the edge of her voice. ‘Please.’

Lena narrows her eyes, perhaps suspicious. ‘I’m not going to tell any of the upcoming plans. I don’t even know the better half of the details. They’ll kill me just for that.’ 

‘That’s not what I want to ask. I don’t care about whatever the Empire is planning. Not right now.’ 

‘Oh? Feeling a little discontent with the Jedi ways?’

Kara can’t stop the fidgeting as she thinks about all the ways this could backfire, but still she blurts out: ‘Did you hear about my Aunt? Astra In-Ze?’

Lena’s silence stretches on. Finally, she crosses her arm. 

‘You didn’t know.’ She says. 

‘No.’ Kara confirms, shifting her weight to prevent more fidgeting.

‘Master Astra was possibly the greatest betrayal the Sith have known in recent history. Of course I heard about it from Lex, who always paints things in the most dramatic light possible. She trained Nyssa Al Ghul, too, which did not go unnoticed.’

‘So it’s really true? She defected?’

‘We were surprised too.’ Lena waves a hand. ‘But happy to welcome the first Dark Kryptonian into our ranks.’

‘What do you mean she betrayed you?’

‘Ask your friend.’ Lena says. ’I can only assume that Nyssa found you, which is how you heard about your Aunt.’ 

‘I—‘

‘You’ve already shown your hand, Kara. No use in denying it now.’ Lena smiles, it almost seems sad if Kara looks hard enough. ‘Your emotions really seem to get the best of you, on occasion.’

‘And yours don’t? I saw that vision of you and that man. You were distraught that they would turn your invention for exploration into a killing device. You tried to save him and yourself. That wasn’t just ego, it was bigger than that. You were hurt.’

Lena’s face tightens. Kara can see it in the clench of her jaw and the set of her teeth. She’s not happy to be reminded of that dalliance Kara took into her mind, that ended up being pointless anyway.

‘What about the rules of asylum?’ Lena replies. ‘Don’t they dictate that you need to rescue me?’

‘Only when I’m able.’ Kara says, setting her shoulders in a firm stance. ‘Don’t quote Kryptonian rules at me, you know you won’t win that argument.’ 

‘So if I die, I suppose it’s not on your conscious, right? Or does Rao say otherwise?’

Kara’s eyes flash. ‘Do not say His name.’

Lena puts up a hand by way of cavalier apology. ‘I didn’t know you had a monopoly on the religion.’ 

‘I get to, when I’m the only surviving member of the race that follows it.’ 

Lena tilts her head and studies Kara for a moment. ‘It does always come back to that moment for you, doesn’t it?’

‘You try having your entire family killed and then get back to me about how often you think about it.’

Lena scoffs. ‘I’d like to think I’d spend most of my time celebrating.’

Kara’s anger gives way to confusion. ‘What?’

Lena catches herself, eyes darting as though someone else can hear them. ‘This has been fun, but I’ve some mindless scientific formulas to work on.’ 

‘Lena, wait—what—‘

Kara can’t get a proper question out before she’s watching Lena disappear in front of her eyes. 

‘What the fuck does she mean?’ Kara mutters. She’d had enough context, from Lena being convinced that her family would kill her over her betrayal, to know that the Luthors were not a warm or comforting family. Still, Kara had thought that perhaps Lena was the one being dramatic for a change. Thinking that the Sith rules still applied to her, as if her last name didn’t make her exempt from death—despite only really being half a Luthor.

Could Kara have been wrong?

There is a firm knock at the door that makes Kara almost jump out of her skin. Alex must have shut the door when she left. Kara moves to open and sees Nyssa standing there, still dressed in her black battle gear. 

‘I suppose you have some questions.’ Nyssa says, by way of hello, and walks into the room. 

Kara moves aside to let her in and closes the door behind her. ‘Yes.’

‘I can prove it to you, that it was true. You look like you could handle it now.’ 

‘No. I don’t need you to. I believe.’ 

Nyssa raises an eyebrow. ‘I applaud you for sticking to your blind optimism.’

Kara shifts her weight and sits down on the bed. What Nyssa doesn’t know won’t kill her.

Nyssa, surprisingly, takes a seat next to her. ‘Astra was a fair Master. Soft, the Sith would call her, but it was good for me. I needed a kind soul, after living with my father and my sister. She brought much light into my world.’

‘Light?’

‘I used that word intentionally, Kara. She wasn't the dark monster you’re probably imagining her to be.’ 

Kara sighs, feels tears welling in her eyes. ‘I could never imagine her that way.’

Nyssa clears her throat, keeps looking ahead at the wall on the other side of the room.

‘People always credit Sara with helping me see the light. But in truth it was your Aunt who first sowed the seeds. I, like many people, thought she had defected to the Sith because she wanted the taste of power. Real power, without the threat of consequence. I was wrong. She was there for information gathering. She did a lot of work the Sith wanted her to, of course, otherwise she couldn’t gain the useful information she needed. She ran an illegal smuggling operation to get information out to those who needed it. Mostly innocents, people who were untainted by the politics of war.

She was found out, in the end. By the Empress, as I heard it. Of course, she wasn’t the Empress quite then. That came later. Astra’s execution was enough for me to realise what Astra had been trying to do—create a space for people with the Force that were in between both the Jedi and the Sith. She wanted to create a definition for those that saw both sides of the war and accepted neither. Grey was the term that people conjured up for it. Helping all, but unconcerned with the politics of the actions. 

She is the first and only other person I’ve seen wield a yellow lightsaber, even if it was only right near her end.’

Kara can’t look up from the ground. ‘She must have known that I was alive, to ask you to protect me.’

Nyssa sighs. ‘Truth be told, I don’t know. She never mentioned you. We all assumed every Kryptonian was dead after the Death Star destroyed the planet. She was considered the last, until she died. She told me, though, that I was to protect her people. If I ever came across them, I was to help them. I assumed she was just being hopeful—holding onto that last theory that there could be some out there who survived the Empire’s wrath.’ 

‘Then you heard about Kal.’ 

‘Yes, and you shortly thereafter. I was too late to assist him in any meaningful way—the Resistance didn’t want my help if I wasn’t going to initiate as a Jedi. I lost track of you after Darth Mortem captured you out of that farm some months back.’ 

‘How long have you been tracking me?’ 

‘A few years, not all consecutive. When you went into hiding, you did it so well that even I couldn’t find you. Sometimes I heard news of someone matching your description on a nearby planet and I visited, to see if it was really you. I didn’t want to spook you, so I wasn’t able to help you in any real way. I could assist, however, in smaller and more undetected ways.’

‘Like what?’

Nyssa gives her a rueful smile. ‘I had quite a lot of fun deterring many sets of bandits from your door, here and there.’

‘Why didn’t you ever introduce yourself to me? Properly?’

Nyssa shrugged. ‘I thought it would draw attention to you. I am, unfortunately, very recognisable. It seems most people know the face of the Sith defector. The only person to ever turn down the Jedi.’

‘So that actually happened.’ 

‘Not the way that most people tell it, but yes.’ Nyssa sighs. ‘They did ask me and I did refuse.’ 

‘I know you think the Jedi are only helping people that can in turn help them, but that’s not the Jedi I know.’

Nyssa looks at her, a grave expression on her pretty face. ‘With all due respect, Kara, you don’t really know the Jedi. You couldn’t have. You were too young to be involved in the politics and when you were old enough, the bedrock of your ways survived only by you.’

‘How can you say that I don’t know the Jedi, when you don’t really know them either? You didn’t join them, how could you know the inner workings of the Republic’s politics?’

Nyssa shrugs, an uncharacteristically casual movement for the straight spine warrior. ‘Sara told me. I worked with a few of them for a while, back when there was enough of them to want to work with Force users who weren’t Jedi. They tried to recruit me several times.’

‘What happened between the two of you? The rumour is that you left when you wouldn’t become a Jedi.’

‘She left, really. Her moral compass compels her to be a Jedi, mine does not. We made our peace with that.’

‘I met her, you know. She rescued me from Lex. Kind of.’

Nyssa gives her an odd look. ‘I know. She told me. How do you think I got you here?’

Kara sits up, confused. ‘You didn’t? Alex picked the planet because there were no signs of life. Thought we could lay low for a couple of weeks.’

‘I sent out a transmission for her ship to pick up. Sara told me the make and model.’

‘Oh. I guess that makes more sense than chance.’

‘Obviously.’

‘Why fight me, then? If you knew who I was.’

‘I didn’t survive this long by taking chances, Kara. I trust Sara, but I trust myself more.’

Kara sighs. ‘So what do we do now? Just hide until we’re the only Force users left?’

Nyssa shifts. ‘I don’t know that you’re ready to hear this, but Alex has told me otherwise. Sara will meet you here in a few weeks. She’s planning an attack on the Empire. Darth Mortem is supposed to be visiting a base to increase morale of the soldiers. She’s going to try to kill him.’

With all this new information swirling in Kara’s mind, the best response to can muster is a firm and confused: ‘What?’ 

Nyssa looks like she’s trying not to roll her eyes. ‘I don’t like it either. She wants a show of force, to truly force the Sith off balance. It could work too, if she doesn’t get herself killed in the process. I suppose that’s why she wants you around.’

‘How does she even know that information she got is true?’

‘She didn’t get the information. I did.’ 

Kara’s eyes widen in stark surprise. ‘You have a mole in the Empire.’

‘Yes. Don’t ask me to reveal their identity to you, because I won’t. For their sake and yours. I am the only person who knows who they are.’

‘And you trust them?’

‘Yes.’

Kara can’t really argue with that.


	11. the truth is seldom welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from Atwood, 'Morning the Burning House.'
> 
> Thank you all for your wonderful comments, i love reading them.

Nyssa, true to form, leaves Kara alone for the most part. She’s busy anyway, far busier than one person ought to be. She’s organising food for the refugees, checking scanners, and instilling confidence in a beaten down people.

Kara watches her with great interest. She never seems to tire—not in public—and is completely stoic, but calming. There’s something about her energy. It lacks malice or selfishness. Kara wonders at how someone can be so free of emotion, when she’s singlehandedly keeping this fort together. 

Alex puts the pieces together quickly and begins to help out. She goes foraging with Sam, she patches up one of the scanners when it starts to spurt electrical jolts, and starts the beginnings of a proper medical wing. She gets a little opposition from Nyssa in the beginning, but when it’s established that Alex is not planning on turning this into the latest Jedi fortress, Nyssa lets her help.

Kara helps out too, where she can, but the memories and the weight of everything she’s learnt leaves her drained and exhausted. She rests, properly, for the first time in what feels like an age. Nyssa tells her small stories about Astra, tells her that she would speak of Rao when she sure they were alone. Kara tries to keep the white hot anger and then the billowing sadness from overtaking her, but it's an effort.

She thinks of Sara’s plan—the days ticking ever closer—and wonders if she should join them. It feels too much like Kal’s plan. Surprise attack, kill the highest ranking Sith, get out of there. It seems too simple and too risky all at once. How would they kill Darth Mortem? The answer would seem obvious: the same way you kill anyone. How would they escape? In whatever way they could. The answers were obvious, but that didn’t mean they would work.

Nyssa was pessimistic about the whole thing, at best. While Kara is learning that that is her default setting, she herself was included to agree with the other woman. What use is a reckless plan like this? It would only lead to more deaths. Kara had argued that very point with Alex, and then Sam, but they’d both had the same response. If they didn’t act now, there was a very high chance that they would never have the opportunity to act again. The Empire was hunting more and more of them down with every passing moment. What good was the opportunity to fight if you didn’t use it?

Then, as quick as lightning, the day comes. They’re to take Alex’s ship and fly over to the base. They were to meet with Sara and her team and begin their assault. Nyssa would not go with them, that she had been clear about from the beginning, and Alex did not argue; though the set of her jaw and the flash in her eyes suggested she thought Nyssa was making the wrong decision. 

Kara finds herself sitting on her bed. The barest hint of dawn was making its way over their fortress, Kara supposed. Everyone else had woken in a flurry and had started making the final preparations. Being underground, there was little way to let the sun be their guide. Instead, they had taken sleeping in shifts—timing when dawn was supposed to arrive—and made their very best guess. Kara knew that she should get up and start packing away the blasters that Nyssa had given them, but she couldn’t will her legs to move from their folded up position beneath her.

‘You don’t have to go.’ A voice to her right says. 

Kara turns her right and sees Nyssa standing in her doorway. 

‘Your biology does not automatically mean you have to fight for their cause.’

‘My cause.’ Kara corrects, softly. ‘I’m a Jedi too.’

Nyssa raises an eyebrow. ‘It does not mean you have to agree with every plan the rebels make.’

‘I have to fight. It’s my purpose.’

‘Perhaps you need a new one.’

‘Like what?’ Kara gestures around her. ‘I can’t stay here. It’s a waste. I’m a symbol, you said it yourself. What good is a symbol hidden underground?’

‘Alive, for a start.’ Nyssa says, leaning against the doorframe. ‘Sara is going to get herself killed. She’s made her peace with that. So have the others. You, however, still appear to be on the fence.’

‘I’m not… on the fence. I’m just…’

‘Frightened.’ Nyssa concludes, when Kara doesn’t speak again. ‘He has been so successful at removing your kind. What’s to say he isn’t successful for the last time?’

Kara breaths out an unsteady breath and wills the tears in her eyes to subside. She feels her hands begin to shake. The calmness of the Force has left her body. She is left only with this swelling ocean of grief inside her, the turmoil crashing waves against her ribs and spilling salt water up her throat and out her eyes. 

She feels a hand on her shoulder and realises that she’s crying. 

‘I have to go.’ She manages to say. ‘I have to go. If Alex dies and I’m not there to protect her, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.’

Nyssa smiles. It is the softest expression Kara has seen on her face. ‘I admire that. Not all siblings are so lucky.’

‘You’ve said this before. Do you have a sibling?’ 

Nyssa sighs. ‘A story for another time. Your team will be wondering where you are.’

Kara stands up and survey’s Nyssa calm face. Nyssa rummages in her pocket for a moment and pulls out a small, silver chain. It looks like it used to be the end of a bracelet, or necklace, but is broken off. 

‘Your Aunt gave this to me. It was full of Force charms, before it snagged on one of my missions. This is what remains. Take it. It might bring you peace.’

Kara goes to refuse, saying that it’s the last remaining memento Nyssa has of her Master. Nyssa only places the chain in Kara’s pocket and leaves without saying another word. Kara takes a deep breath and heads out together the exit of the compound.  
———

The plan does not go to plan. Sara loses half of her team. Kara, by some miracle, loses no one but feels Sara’s loss all the same. There is something unsettling in the air when Sara, Kara, Alex and Sam gather in the hull of Sara’s ship and try to think of a way through what they’ve just witnessed. They have killed the engine for the night, floating in space, too nervous to land anywhere that might trigger the Empire as to their location.

‘We need to think of a countermove.’ Sara says, resolutely staring ahead.

Kara doesn’t say anything. She reaches over and lays a hand on Sara’s shoulder.

‘We do.’ Alex agrees, her own face grim and hardened with worry lines.

‘They’ll still be at the base. We could come back with a second wave.’

‘A second wave of what?’ Sam asks, more than a little exasperated. ‘They beat us the first time around and we had more forces then.’

‘So we’ll get more forces.’ Sara replies.

‘From where? Half of our team are still missing, who knows where. We don’t know of any other camps that are in any shape to join us. I think we need to rest, focus on recruiting where we can.’

‘We can’t recruit if we’re always on the run.’

‘I have an idea.’ Kara says, suddenly. ‘But I don’t think you’ll like it.’

Alex looks up from the spot on the floor she was previously focusing her attention. She takes one look at her sister and shakes her head.

Kara holds up a hand. ‘Hear me out.’

‘Lena is a _Sith,_ Kara. She’s not going to help us kill her brother.’

‘But she tried to kill him herself.’

‘That was different, clearly spur of the moment. She’d just found out that she’d been lied to her entire life and he was mocking her. Do you really think she’d consider premeditated murder of one of the highest rank Sith officials ever?’

‘I could ask.’

Sara, uncharacteristically, laughs at this. ‘Do you know where she is?’

‘No.’ Alex reminds Kara. ‘We don’t.’

Kara sighs. ‘I can find out. I know I can.’ 

‘She’s not going to just tell you.’ Alex argues. ‘She might not even know herself.’

‘Wait.’ Sara pauses. ‘They have a Force connection right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘She should be able to pinpoint roughly where Lena is. I was able to do it.’

Kara perks up, if only slightly. ‘Is that how you were able to tell Nyssa about us?’

Sara hesitates and then shakes her head. ‘No. I don’t have a connection with her anymore. I meant a while ago.’

‘I can try that, though, I can try and find her.’

Sam rolls her eyes and gets up. ‘Let me know how she feels about fratricide in the morning. I’m going to bed.’

Alex rises as well, curiously. ‘I’ll walk you out. Everyone should sleep, really. Think you can hold off on your master plan until the morning, Kara?’

Kara pouts. ‘I guess.’

With that, everyone decides it’s best to call it a night. Kara takes first watch, too jittery to sleep. Her mind wanders, as it always does. She sits in the cockpit, idly watching the monitor for any sign of incoming intrusions.

Sara’s ship is much bigger than any Kara has been on, in recent memory. It has three levels, one for sleeping quarters, one for kitchens and training rooms, and a final level for storage. It makes it an ideal battleship, but an incredibly unsubtle target. Alex had initially fought over whether or not they should take smaller ships into their battle, but Sara had argued that if they were stranded that they’d be happy for the extra space. How right Sara had turned out to be.

The battle itself had not been worth the word. It was a mess of chaos and bloodshed once the Sith recognised what was happening. Their recognition did not take as long as Sara had hoped, giving them less time to react to the swaths of enemies that came their way.

_They landed in the brush—Sara and Kara’s teams—and split into four smaller squadrons to avoid detection. It had worked so far as the second outpost. Sara had managed to force push some unsuspecting Stormtroopers to their doom, past the rocky outcrop and down into the abyss. By some turn of bad luck, one of them triggered their comms while they were falling._

_The third outpost was good and ready by the time the team reached it. There were Stormtroopers, Purge troopers, and Sith themselves. Darth Mortem was no where to be found, but no one except Sara had really wanted him to be there. The team struggled through the battle, not letting up until the last Sith had fallen at the hand of someone on the end of the lightsaber, and managed to make it to the base._

_That was where it all fell apart. There were swarms of soldiers—much more than their information had led them to believe—and Darth Mortem himself. At the head of the charge, he saw their group of rag-tag Jedi warriors and laughed._

‘Kara?’ 

Kara forces herself out of her memories and turns around to see Sam standing a few feet behind her. Kara doesn’t bother asking why she isn’t sleeping.

‘What’s up?’ She asks, instead.

Sam sighs and sits down next to the other Jedi. ‘I can’t feel her. I don’t—Can you reach out and see if you can see if Ruby’s okay? She’ll be with Eliza. If you can find Eliza, maybe she’ll be nearby.’

Kara winces, sympathetically. ‘I can try.’

Kara doesn’t bother telling Sam that she feels drained of all her energy. She’s used the Force the most consistently than she has in the longest time. Every time she does she feels as if her very life energy is draining out of her fingertips. She can’t even feel Lena in the back of her mind, like she normally can. 

Still, she takes a deep breath and settles herself. Sam watches the horizon—already taking over the watch, as Kara closes her eyes.

_Eliza._ She wills the Force to respond to her. She feels the Force around them, sparking the air and heavy in the atmosphere like oxygen. She focuses on the feeling of swimming in the darkness behind her eyelids, willing to find her foster mother. 

_Hello._

Kara’s shoulders slump in disappointment before she can stop them. 

_You’re not the person I was looking for._ Kara admits. She hears Lena’s smooth voice reply, but can’t bring herself to keep the connection going. She forces herself out of their connection and opens her eyes. The hope on Sam’s face is crushing.

‘I can’t feel them.’ Kara says. ‘I’ll try again, maybe in the morning.’

Sam struggles to keep the hurt off of her face, but doesn’t succeed. ‘Okay. We’ll keep trying.’

‘Yes.’ Kara promises. 

They sit for the rest of the watch in complete silence.  
———

When Kara goes to sleep the next morning, she hopes she won’t dream. It’s a futile hope really, as her brain's subconscious activity overtakes her before she can fight it off. 

_She’s standing in the middle of a field. It’s bright and sunny. The field is absence of life, except for her. She is dressed in plainclothes—brown pants and a pale button up—staring at the sun. It looks the most peaceful place Kara has been in a while. It looks like Krypton._

_She blinks or looks away. In any case, in the next moment, she sees her mother standing before her. She is standing just above the ground, force hovering in the glittering sunlight. She is smiling. Kara had almost forgotten what that looked like. She feels herself succumb to tears._

_She ceases crying when she feels her mother’s hand on her shoulder._

_‘Kara.’ She says. ‘Kara, my dear. This is not a place for grief.’_

_‘I thought I’d forgotten what you looked like.’_

_‘You could never. You remember us all.’_

_‘I don’t know what to do. We’re stuck. We’re beaten. Mother, I don’t know what to do.’_

_‘Remember what I told you. The Force seeks balance.’_

_‘The Force is out of balance!’ Kara snaps. ‘It’s been out of balance ever since the Empire started killing those with a Force connection that they couldn’t bend to their ways.’_

_Alura’s face goes blank for a moment. ‘Do you remember the story I told you? The prophecy?’_

_Kara feels exhaustion climb from her heart and spread through the rest of her body. She feels so tired, in her mind and body, in a place where she is supposed to be resting._

_‘Mother.’ She begs. ‘I do not have the energy for riddles.’_

_‘Light and Darkness. Two.’ Her mother says, heedless of Kara’s assertions. ‘One will stop and the other will start. You must use their own against them. Kindness will stop this war, Kara.’_

_‘Kindness?’ Kara asks, in complete disbelief. ‘When have the Empire ever shown kindness to me?’_

_‘You will see, when you need to. Rao will guide you to the one who can stop it all. You were never meant to carry this burden alone.’_

_Kara watches her mother fade, translucent. ‘Mother. Tell me what you mean! Don’t leave me!’_

_Soon, Kara is simply yelling at the grass. Her face crumples, even in sleep she will not know peace._

She wakes up, gasping for air. She peers around in the darkness, heart thumping against her chest until she can remind herself that she is in Sara’s ship. It’s the middle of the afternoon, the heat of a sun would be streaming through the windows if not for the fact that they were currently flying endlessly around space.

_Kara._ Sam’s voice says, in her mind. _Are you okay? I felt distress in the Force._

_I’m okay—just a dream._

_We’re going to try and go back to Nyssa’s camp. She won’t be happy to see us, but we don’t have many other options._

_Do you have the coordinates?_

_Sara does._

_Let’s hope Nyssa doesn’t greet us the way she did the first time._

Kara manages to pull herself out of bed and open up the blinds in her room. She can see stars glittering in the sky and planets off in the distance. She stares, strangely comforted by the vastness of the universe. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a flash of light. It is a star perhaps, imploding in on itself, ready to start new life and begin its cycle over again.

She sees another flash of light. Another star, perhaps, though the chances are slim. On instinct, Kara holds out a hand and freezes whatever has just come towards the window just before it can make impact. It’s a red blast of light. A small beam, buzzing in the air. Kara forces pushes it away into the expanse of the sky, watches it skitter away.

She grabs her lightsabers and jogs out of her room, on pure instinct.

‘We’re under attack!’ She yells, as soon as she makes eye contact with the main door of the ship’s cockpit. “Empire ships!’

She rushes in the cockpit, to see Sara and Alex sitting side by side. Alex takes a look at their comms and freezes.

‘There’s nothing on the radio. You’re certain?’

Kara nods. ‘Absolutely.’

Suddenly, something makes contact with the side of the ship. A series of blasts, if the sounds are anything to go by.

‘Ghost ships.’ Sara says, turning the ship to the left. ‘I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this.’

Once the ship has turned, Kara sees a glimpse of the three ships in question. They are black as night, blending in almost seamlessly with the sky. They shoot blasts at the ship with reckless abandon. They barely seem to be aiming. 

Alex pulls the controls towards her and begins to return fire. None of her shots make contact. The ships seem to anticipate them and move every time Alex seems to have aimed dead on.

Sam rushes into the ship a moment later, from the direction of the med bay. ‘Who’s found us?’

‘The Empire.’ Kara says. ‘Can you grab them?’

Sam shakes her head. ‘I haven’t recovered. I could try but I’ll probably faint.’

Kara steels her shoulders. ‘Alright.’

Alex glances back at her sister, for a moment. ‘Kara, no. You don’t have the energy either. We can run our way out of this.’

‘Away from ships we can barely see and can’t track?’ Kara shoots back.

She feels oddly calm. Like in this moment, the Force has found her and is keeping her heartbeat steady. Kara raises a hand, willing the Force to allow her to hold one of these ships in place. She aims for the middle one, hand shaking. She thinks of Rao. She thinks of her mother.

The ship in question freezes in place. The blasts stop for a moment, as if the pilot is confused. Then Kara moves her hand to the left. The ship smashes into the one on its left. The explosion is fiery and lights up the sky enough for Kara to see the last ship. It has turned around, as if to make a run for it.

Kara clenches her hand into a fist, staring resolutely ahead. The black ship crumbles under the weight of her connection with the Force. It folds inward on itself until it is nothing but useless metal and black paint.

She is breathing heavily when she finally lowers her hand back down to her side, sweat gathering at her hairline. When Kara looks up, she stares into the shocked faces of her fellow rebels.

‘What was that?’ Alex asks first. Her eyebrows are up at her hairline.

‘I don’t know.’ Kara confesses. ‘I don’t—I just felt like I could do it.’

‘You’re getting stronger.’ Alex murmurs. ‘But how? After yesterday, you should barely be able to use the Force.’

Kara shrugs, feels the fatigue roll off of her as if it was never there. ‘I dreamt of my mother.’

Alex purses her lips, a scientist already deep in thought. ‘Rao. Maybe. Do you feel tired?’

‘No.’ Kara says, her own confusion evident in her voice. ‘I feel… great.’

‘Second wind.’ Sara concludes. ‘Happens to all of us. Just try not to fall over before it wears off.’

Sam sits down, her posture relaxing. ‘Are we headed to Nyssa’s camp then?’

‘No.’ Sara decides. ‘We can’t bring more ghost ships to her doorstep. We’ll just have to keep wandering.’ 

It’s a solution that none of them want to hear, but it’s the only logic step.

_That was some effort out there._

Kara startles and sits herself down before her surprise is noticeable to the other members of her team.

_You could see me?_ She asks.

_See? No. But I could feel it. Seems my technology misjudged you._

_If you could feel it, do you think others could too?_

_I don’t know. What do you think?_

_Lena._

_Yes. The Empire will be on their way. Their Force trackers are something of legend, as you would know._

_Fuck. That’s just what we need right now._

_Might I suggest not running away this time?_

_You mean you’d like me to be slaughtered?_

_Think logically Kara. No use running if they’re already on their way. Don’t waste the fuel._

_That is—actually a really good point._

_Don’t think too much of it. I’m very bored._

_Where are you?_

_Who were you looking for, before, if not me?_ Lena asks instead.

_No one you would know._

_I doubt that._

‘Kara?’ Alex’s voice startles Kara out of her conversation. 

Kara looks up, tries to remain innocuous. ‘Yeah?’

‘I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes.’ 

‘Sorry.’

‘I said, did you want to try your harebrained scheme now?’

‘You really want to let me find Lena?’

Alex rolls her eyes. ‘No. But there’s not much else we can right now, is there?’

Kara grins, for no other reason than they finally have to listen to her. ‘I know where she is.’

Alex raises her eyebrows. ‘How?’

Kara flushes, without meaning to. ‘I was talking to her. Before. She said the Empire will be on their way and she’s right.’

‘Well, where is she?’

‘Taris. Somewhere there.’

Alex groans. ‘Fucking fantastic. Of course she’s on the most protected Sith base ever to exist.’

Sam looks at them, refocusing her attention from the window she was previously staring out of. ‘I don’t think we should all go.’

Sara balks at that. ‘Do you have somewhere else to be?’

‘Storming the castle didn’t work out too well for us last time did it?’ Sam spits back. ‘We’re all too recognisable together. Send Kara and I. You and Alex can search for the rest of our team.’

‘So, you just show up on Taris. Then what?’ Alex asks. 

‘We disguise ourselves. Stormtroopers, maybe. Sneak into whatever prison they’re keeping Lena. Bust her out. Hope for the best.’

‘This sounds very well thought out.’ Alex states. ‘Sam, it’s too dangerous to just hope for the best.’

Kara considers the options. They’ll have a better chance of sneaking in if there’s only two of them. They should be able to mask their presence, at least for a little while. Once they’ve sprung Lena from jail, the base will have three Force users to contend with. Including, one of their own, who will know the base like the back of her hand. 

‘I agree with Sam.’ She says. ‘It’s the best plan we have.’  
———

Kara spends the next three days it takes to head to Taris in constant fights with her sister. Alex is seething that Kara would even suggest that their ill thought out plan was even conceivable, let alone convincing Sara to drive them into the most fortified Empire base in all of the known universe.

Still, even Alex knows that they need to make a move before the Empire finds them at their weakest. She allows Kara to go, not without several strong worded arguments and some glances of the cold shoulder. Kara feels her fear thrumming underneath all that anger and hugs her sister tightly before Sam and her take one of the escape pods from Sara’s ship and launch themselves at the base just off the edges of Taris.

Their entry into the base goes by in a nervous blur. They manage to steal two Stormtroopers outfits after a brief battle and sneak their way past the troops without too much of an issue. Sam and Kara don’t speak—keeping their conversations strictly through the Force.

First, they look for a map that will take them to the prisons. When they hide around a corner as a troop of Sith Inquistors march slowly past.

‘Still.’ One of them says. ‘They should be keeping in the med bay, not her bedroom.’ 

‘Oh, please.’ The other replies. ‘She the best of us, I’m sure she’s fine. They’re probably just letting her relax.’

‘When have you ever known the Luthors to let anyone relax?’

Sam and Kara exchange glances. Kara closes her eyes, willing that Sam will protect them if needed, and seeks out Lena through the Force. She can see in her, in her mind’s eye. Two floors above them, to the left.

They hurry in that general direction. Every step feels like a gamble and every look from their fellow soldiers feels like they’ve been caught. No one says anything, though. Kara thanks Rao for his protection with every group they pass.

Sam and Kara shed their outfits just outside what they think is the area Lena is being kept in. They pull out their lightsabers, after ensuring that there are no cameras in this section of the base. Sam decides to stay out in the hall, watching for any sign of movement. Kara heads inside, holding her breath, hoping that these aren’t the last moves she makes.

Kara finds Lena in the last place they would’ve expected to look; her bedroom. She is laying there, eyes closed and breathing deeply, looking the most peaceful Kara has ever seen her. The Sith garb, symbols and lightsabers are unsettling. They remind Kara that this is where Lena spends most of her time, where she belongs.

‘What happened?’ She asks the empty air, sheathing both her lightsabers in her belt.

_A coma. If I had any guess. Keeping your word, Jedi?_

_I told you I would come if I was able._

_A stupid decision, really._

_Do you want me to leave you here?_

_I suppose if I can’t fix me, there’s little chance you can fix me. Might as well._

_I know about Force comas._

_You do?_

_I was in one._

_When?_

_When I landed, when Eliza took me in. It was only for a few days. They said it was Rao’s way of protecting me._

_How did Eliza know enough about Rao—_

_Not Eliza. My parents. They mentioned it might happen._

_They predicted it? But no one knows enough about Force comas to predict them, let alone give a reason for them._

_Kryptonians knew more than they ever let the public know._

_Is that a trait you’re planning on exhibiting?_

_I’m here to rescue you. Can we save the snark until after we’re off this fucking base?_

_Uncomfortable?_

_Obviously._

_Well go on, then, work your magic. Get me out of this prison._

Kara doesn’t bother mentioning that she doesn’t actually know enough about these comas to stop them from happening once they’ve occurred. She knows that they are triggered by intense instances of stress or physical harm, by those who have heightened connections with the Force. So by that logic, Kara figures she can make Lena feel comfortable and safe enough that her mind lets her out of its own protection. 

In theory, that would work. The gamble is in whether or not Lena feels comfortable or safe with Kara around in the first place.

She places a hand over Lena’s still one, anyway.

_What are you doing?_

_Trust me, this is part of the process._

_Holding my hand will help get me out of this coma?_

_Kind of. Yeah._

Kara bites her lip and wills this to work. She closes her and fills her mind with visions of a calming spring, a peaceful valley. Anything comforting that she can think of. The series of images last for a few minutes before Kara senses no change and opens her eyes. 

_Well._ Lena says. _That was very effective._

_You need to relax. That’s how we get you out of there._

_Are you sure you’ve done this before?_

_Yes. Lena, do you want to get out of there or not?_

_Fine. Project some more images of your stupid streams and get it over with._

So Kara does. She feels no change in the air and no movement from Lena’s fingers. She sees a glimpse of a woman on the horizon of her mind. Not Alura, or her Aunt. This woman is not Kryptonian. She has dark hair, pale features. She is singing softly, but Kara doesn’t know what words she is saying. They may be English, they may not be.

Suddenly, she feels Lena’s hand clench around her own. 

‘Stop.’ Lena says, voice rough with lack of use. ‘Stop it.’

Kara opens her eyes and sees Lena’s own frantic ones staring back at her.

‘Stop what?’ Kara asks, ceasing her projections. ‘I was just trying to you to relax. It worked, didn’t it?’

‘How did you know what she looked like?’ Lena demands. ‘How could you have possibly known?’

Kara looks around, confused. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought that was just some random woman. Do you know her?’

‘I don’t believe you. You searched my mind before. How do I know you didn’t record everything you found on me? I am a Sith after all, I don’t expect that you’d trust me even when I did hand over my lightsaber to you.’

‘Lena.’ Kara softens her tone. ‘I don’t really have the time to be worrying about writing everything down. I don’t know who that woman is.’

Lena’s frostiness doesn’t waver, but she does get up off her bed and stretch her limbs. It takes her a few minutes to stimulate her blood flow and gather her belongings. Then, they head out of the bedroom and into the hallway. Sam is there, leaning against the wall, listening for anyone coming their way. 

‘So?’ Sam says. ‘Any ideas on how to escape?’

———

He finds them before they even get off the base. It’s unsurprising, given that Lena’s tracking device still lurks somewhere within her. They’d tried to remove it, but Kara was unable to pinpoint exactly where it was. They didn’t want to just start hacking at Lena’s limbs until they found it, so they’d hurried as quickly as they could towards the shuttle they’d stolen after their pods had landed.

They make it through the base dressed in their Stormtrooper gear with Lena as their guide. She is quicker at finding routes for them to avoid people, but they keep their guard high. In the flurry of nervousness, Kara hasn’t even had a chance to really assess where Lena’s loyalties truely lie.

They reach the exit of the base, almost home and dry, when they see is cape fluttering in the doorway. He smiles. Darth Mortem has found them yet again. 

‘Are you trying to kidnap my sister, Jedi?’ He asks, a tinge of mirth in his tone.

Lena’s straight is steel straight. Kara wonders for a moment if Lena will draw her weapon, but she doesn’t. She keeps her hands at her sides and says nothing. Kara feels the betrayal deep in her chest, though she knows she ought not to expect anything.

She and Sam shed their Stormtrooper armour. Curiously, Mortem lets them. Footsteps hurry behind them and Sam turns that way to see what has trapped them in this corridor.

‘Sith.’ Sam says. ‘I’ll deal with them. You deal with him.’ 

It’s not an unfair deal to make, considering Kara is known for having beaten him once before. Lena side eyes Kara and steps away, in the direction of Sam. Perhaps trying to feign once last appearance of loyalty, but Kara can’t say whom she’s feigning for.

Mortem and Kara draw their weapons at the same time. 

‘I hadn’t thought I would fight you again so soon.’ He says. ‘I thought you’d be smarter.’

‘Running isn’t smart when you can find us whenever you’d like.’

‘Ah, so you do admit it. The Empire is far too powerful for the last Kryptonian to handle.’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘But you will.’

He rushes forward then, lightsaber high in the air. Kara deflects the oncoming strike with Kal’s lightsaber and slices low at Lex’s knees. Lex shifts back and it gives Kara an opening to attack. She takes it and slices both her lightsabers at either end of Lex, one high and one low. He blocks the low and ducks just in time before the higher lightsaber can make contact with his head. 

He force pushes Kara backwards to give himself more leverage. Kara can’t find the time to deflect the strike and feels herself careening backwards into a wall on the far side of Lex. He grins.

Kara is struck for a moment by the thought that he is not wearing a helmet. She throws her own purple lightsaber towards his head, and he ducks predictably. She pulls it back and manages to slice cleaning at the edge of his shoulder. 

He yells in surprise. Then raises a hand. Kara feels herself leave the ground and hang cleanly in the air.

‘You know you can’t beat me.’ He says. ‘You couldn’t when I captured you and you can’t now. I know all your tricks, Jedi.’

Kara struggles to hold onto her lightsabers and feels herself slipping away. She closes her eyes, reaching out into the Force for a reason she cannot name. 

She drops her lightsaber. It clatters on the ground in the sudden silence and turns off. She feels a crackling at her fingertips and raises her hand just slightly. 

The sudden oncoming lightning strikes Lex in the chest. He takes the blast fully, without any means of defence, and Kara feels herself drop the ground.

’No.’ He says. ‘You do not possess the texts to have learnt that on your own. Did Lena teach you?’ 

Kara says nothing, picks up her lightsaber and charges at him. 

He blocks her incoming attack with his blood red weapon. Kara’s lightsabers are crossed over in an X. They struggle to maintain their balance, leaning against each other. Neither can gain ground for a moment.

She hears a yell in the distance. It sounds like Lena. She sounds hurt.

Kara is filled for a moment with an indescribable panic. Lex sees her face change and steps back, slicing at her midriff. Kara dodges, only barely, and Lex takes full advantage of her distraction. He hits her with a barrage of well timed strikes that she cannot defend against. 

He knocks one lightsaber away and then the other. He kicks her square in the chest and sends her sprawling backwards. Kara cannot get enough of a grip on her thoughts to gain control of the Force. Lex approaches her, not giving her a moment to gather defence.

Kara waits to feel that final blow. She knows she is beaten. No one could stop a Darth on home turf—not surrounded by other powerful dark Force users. She closes her eyes, taking one last breath, and gives herself over the Rao.

She hears Lex gasp and then groan. She opens her eyes to see a blood red lightsaber stuck through Darth Mortem’s midsection. She turns around and sees Lena above her.

Kara watches Lena’s face—stoic and then the cracks begin. It starts in her eyes, shining with tears almost immediately. Then her mouth, a thin line giving way to a slack and then a pulling at the edges. Almost a smile, but a smile of disbelief and horror, more a grimace. Her arm is still outstretched, lightsaber lit up only at the end extended into the middle section of her brother. Her hands are shaking when she pulls away.

Lena is on her knees in a second, applying pressure to her brother’s wounds. The lightsaber has only half cauterised them—leaving them both burnt and bloody. She looks around her, as if waiting for someone to materialise out of thin air. She is properly crying now. Kara watches, unable to move, as the tears roll down her face. Then, Lena seems to remember that Kara is there.

‘Use the Force to heal him.’ She demands. ‘I know you can.’

Kara doesn’t try to argue that the only person she has managed that one was Alex, once, when she’d had a terrible accident. Even that small occurrence left her drained for weeks. She takes a step back on instinct and holds up her hands. 

‘No.’ She says. Her voice sounds rough to her own ears and unrecognisable.

Lena balks, jaw setting in disbelief. ‘What?’

‘I won’t do it.’

‘I just saved your life. You owe me.’

Kara feels her own tears well in her eyes, at Lena’s tone of desperation and sadness. ‘You know I can’t. Anything else, Lena. Ask me anything else.’

‘Heal him!’

Lex is choking on the floor. The guttural sound occupies both of their attention for a moment. He opens his eyes—Kara can’t remember when they’d even closed—and makes direct eye contact with his sister. 

‘I thought it might be you.’ He coughs. ‘Traitor.’

‘Lex.’ Lena pleads. ‘Don’t—Lex, hold on. I’m going to get you help.’

‘Can’t fix your mistakes now, dear sister. Best you better run.’

‘Kara!’ Lena is almost screeching.

Kara does the only thing she can manage in that moment. She walks away. 

She hears the buzzing of a lightsaber and ducks on instinct. Lena’s double-bladed lightsaber spins over her and slices into the door Kara is just about to exit through. Kara force pulls the door open and walks through it, without looking back.

She sees Sam in the hallway, spine stiff and expression stoic. Kara lets herself relax a little bit. This means that Sam has managed to secure their exit. The Sith bodies are nearby, sliced clean in half.

‘Are you ready?’ Kara asks. ‘We need to leave quickly. Darth Mortem is dying.’

‘He’s dead.’ Sam says, expression solemn. 

Kara scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. ‘How do you know that? You weren’t even in the room when it happened.’

‘Don’t quibble over what I do and do not know, Jedi. I have a wealth of knowledge far beyond what you could ever anticipate.’

‘Sam—you’re talking… weird. Are you okay?’ Kara senses something is wrong. The balance in the Force itself seems to have shifted. She feels a weight in the air, an oppressive darkness has overtaken this place.

‘I had always hoped I would be the person to end Krypton.’ Sam takes a step towards her, a sickening smile on her face, and draws her lightsaber.

Kara draws her own, holds them steady. ‘Sam. I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me.’

Sam walks towards her, slow and predatory. For a brief moment, though, her tense posture is broken. Then her face softens to an expression of terror and sadness.

Sam’s real voice comes through then, with a final statement: ‘Kara. _Run.’_

Kara sees a whirl of blue coming towards her—Sam’s lightsaber in high arc—before she can react.


	12. some people seem to get all sunshine (and some all shadow)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Little Women.

Kara ducks, only barely. She’s certain that some of her hair has met impact with Sam’s lightsaber, if the smell is anything to go by. She blocks the next assault with her lightsabers and manages to block the next. Her world becomes a swirl of green, purple, blue over and over in a never ending stream of colour. She has seen Sam fight before and she was never this fluid, this poised, this angry. Something is deeply and dreadfully wrong.

She blocks another strike from Sam, this one a high to low one-handed strike that leaves Kara winded when she reaches up to meet it. She skids back on impact. It’s clear that Sam is forcing her back. But into what? The wall, perhaps, if Sam thinks she can gain enough leverage to disarm her. 

‘Sam.’ Kara tries. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’

Sam laughs. It sounds alien and wrong. it’s as if someone has taken all the warmth out of Sam’s tone and left her with nothing but chill and bitterness. Her entire face has changed too. Gone is the light in her eyes and the steadiness of her posture. Now, there is only a stern face and a ramrod straight back.

‘You cannot beat me, Kryptonian. You are a fool for trying.’

‘A fool, maybe.’ Kara answers. ‘But a fool who intends to get whatever you are out of my friend.’

A door opens, Kara hears, distantly and to her left. Stormtroopers, she thinks, but there are no sounds of impending laser blasts. A true Sith wouldn’t waste this much time assessing the situation, not if they found what looks to be two Jedis fighting each other to the death. That leaves only one option, in Kara’s mind.

‘Lena.’ She says, as she blocks another strike of Sam’s, aimed for her midsection. ‘What the fuck is going on?’

Kara struggles under the weight Sam’s next blow. It’s next to impossible how Sam’s strike feel like they have the weight of three people behind them. Kara manages to throw Sam off with a twin bladed strike to Sam’s weaker, left side. It gives Kara just enough time to glance behind her, but no one is there. She is momentarily thrown off—she could have sworn she felt Lena’s presence—but she resolves to focus on the woman in front of her. Lena will be fine for now, wherever she is.

A series of beeps interrupt what is likely to be a very calculated series of strikes, on Sam’s part. A door opens to her right and a wave of five Stormtroopers flood in. Their guns are poised and they are about to pull the trigger when Sam’s blue lightsaber rips through them all. The accuracy and precision of the move is horrifying. Kara watches with a gaping mouth as all the Stormtrooper’s heads are sliced clean off their shoulders and they drop to the ground, one after another.

‘No one else gets the privilege of fighting you today, Jedi. You are mine.’

It all seems a bit much, in Kara’s opinion, but she has little time to consider the dramatics of the moment before Sam’s lightsaber comes flying towards her head again.

‘Sam.’ Kara tries, huffing as she ducks yet another overheard attack from the other blond.

‘Your friend is no longer.’ The monotone voice replies.

It angers Kara deeper than she cares to admit, but in that moment she leans into it. She feels the rage of all the last few moments fill her mind. The sadness at whatever the hell has happened to Sam. The confusion whenever she thinks about Lena.

Kara crosses her lightsabers over in an X when Sam tries to slash at her shoulder. The force of the blow is almost too much to bear, but Kara remains firmly planted in the ground. She closes her eyes for a brief moment, feels the Force whisper to her, and pushes her weight onto Sam.

Sam, at Kara’s surprise, goes flying backwards and hits the other wall with a crack.

‘Impossible.’ The voice growls, from Sam’s mouth, somehow still conscious. ‘My Force connection is much stronger than any Kryptonian could ever hope to be. You know not of the powers that I possess.’

‘You keep saying that, but I’m yet to see these powers you won’t shut up about.’

Sam smirks. Kara thinks, distinctly, that that was very much the wrong thing to say.

Sam’s eyes sparkle then, but not with joy. The emotion is so dark that Kara can’t think of a word to describe it. It fills the room and it fills all of Kara’s mind. The Force has been strained so far to the dark that Kara can’t even seem to feel it all—only this oppressive cloud that Sam has left behind. 

Kara sees a crackle of light in Sam’s eyes and, on pure instinct, ducks.

The lightning shoots out of Sam’s hands and into the wall behind her.

Kara’s glances backwards to see half the wall splintered and catching fire. The lightning crackles for a moment between the metal pieces before it dissolves.

She ducks another incoming strike from Sam. She feels her feet slide to her left. She blocks a strike from Sam and recognises that Sam is trying to force her towards the shards of metal behind them.

_Rao. Mother._ Kara thinks. _How do I beat Sam without injuring her? How do I get us off this planet safely?_

The answer comes to her in a moment of calming clarity. It’s as if she is floating outside of her body. She watches herself defend against Sam’s aggressive strikes. All of the slashes toward her body are controlled and measured, but incredibly heavy and straining. Sam does not feel the effort of her strikes, it seems. It’s as if she is not even human. 

Kara focuses on keeping her breathing even. She feels her heartbeat slow. She deflects Sam’s strike and slices towards Sam’s head. It forces Sam to duck and gives Kara a window of opportunity. 

She turns off Kal’s lightsaber, places it in her belt and holds up a hand. The hand is not held rigidly. Instead, it is open as if for an invitation. A gesture. Kara breathes out and closes her eyes. 

She hears Sam’s lightsaber buzz near her. Kara blocks it, eyes still closed. Sam tries again, though her second attempt is just as easily blocked as the first. Kara hears Sam step backwards, as Kara feels the Force tingle at her fingertips. The energy flows up her arm and into her shoulder. Finally, she feels the energy fill her mind. 

_Yes._ She thinks. _I’ve done it._

‘What?’ 

At Sam’s outburst, Kara opens her eyes. She sees Sam holding her arms, hands outstretching, in a stance so well used for the direction of Force lightning. However, nothing comes out of her hands. Nothing happens at all. 

Sam’s rage is terrifying. ‘What have you done?!’

Kara’s feel an overwhelming joy overtake her fear. She grabs Kal’s lightsaber and takes a step forward. She ducks an incoming strike from Sam and kicks her squarely in the midsection. Kara holds her down with the Force once she hits the ground. Sam struggles, screams and writhes but she can’t move.   
———

By some miracle, Kara gets back to Sara’s ship unscathed. She carries Sam, slung over her shoulder. Alex’s face drops when she sees the both of them. 

Alex’s voice is still even when she speaks, though. ‘We need to get out of here. We saw flares. Important Sith death.’

Kara grimaces. ‘Mortem.’

Alex’s eyes widen. ‘You killed him?’

‘No.’

Sara closes the exit door and they all make their way to the cockpit. Kara puts Sam gently into a chair. She thinks for a moment about tying her hands, but knows that she won’t be waking up soon. 

‘Lena did.’ Sara surmises. 

‘Yes.’ Kara says. ‘Though I don’t think she meant it.’

Alex scoffs. ‘I don’t think someone can just kill their brother by accident.’

‘You didn’t see her.’ Kara argues. ‘She was—she asked me to heal him.’

‘You—‘

‘I didn’t. Of course I wouldn’t.’

Alex softens a little at that, places a hand on Kara’s shoulder. ‘What happened to Sam?’

Kara shrugs. She finds herself on the edge of tears, unable to make sense what has happened, now that she has time to think about it. She explains it all. The fight, the Force, Sam’s odd demeanour.

‘It sounds… like possession.’ Sara says.

‘I know.’ Kara replies. ‘But that doesn’t make any sense.’

‘We’ll figure it out. Is she dangerous?’

‘Yes. I have never fought anyone like her.’

Alex’s pensive face is unmistakable. ‘How did you beat her?’

Kara takes a breath and tries to relax her shoulders. ‘I don’t know the word for it. I learnt it on Krypton.’

Sara nods. ‘Describe it to me.’ 

‘I held out my hand. Felt the Force stronger than I had that whole fight. About as strong as when I broke Lena out of her coma. Sam was trying to attack me with lightning but she couldn’t.’

Sara’s eyebrows reach her hairline. She takes several moment of silence before she speaks. ‘She couldn’t use the Force?’

Kara nods.

Sara is staring at the floor, then she looks up. ‘Oh my god.’

‘What?’

‘It’s called Force breaching. It’s a mind trick. Makes the other person feel as though their connection has been broken. It’s like a step down from severing someone’s connection from the Force.’

‘How long does it last?’

‘I have no idea. It was a complete myth. No one has seen anyone use it for generations. The rebels weren’t even sure it actually existed. When did you learnt it?’

‘I don’t remember. I was a kid. I think. Well, I must’ve been.’

Sara, breathless, grins. ‘Kara. Do you know what you’ve done? You could win the war for us. They can’t defend if they don’t think they can use the Force.’

Alex puts up a hand and gestures to an unconscious Sam. ‘We might want to solve this situation first. What was she like, Kara?’

‘Dark. I’ve never felt the Force like that. It was—‘ Kara shivers. ‘She sounded like a Sith.’

‘She would never turn.’ Alex says. ‘Never.’

‘Not even for the chance to see her daughter?’ Sara asks.

Kara shakes her head. ‘No. You didn’t see her. I don’t know how to explain it—but that wasn’t Sam. It didn’t sound like her. Her posture was entirely different. She’s not changed sides. She’s just not Sam.’

Sara sighs. It sounds heavy, as if the air is carrying the weight of the few weeks that sits upon Sara’s shoulders. 

‘I haven’t heard about this.’ Sara admits.

‘Would Nyssa?’ Kara asks, perhaps a tad too hopefully. 

The hesitation in Sara’s face says it all. 

They resolve to put Sam in the cells at the bottom of the ship. It is not ideal. Alex fights the idea more than once, but Kara told her about the lightning and the darkness and eventually even she relented. The unfortunate fact was that whatever version of Sam this was, she was too dangerous to leave somewhere she could escape.

Kara goes to bed, despite her attempts to say she would operate as a co-pilot for Alex while she flew them out to some place safe. She thinks that she feels okay right until her body hits her bed. She collapses into it, welcoming the rest as soon as it envelopes her.

_The wind is whistling in the trees. Everything is green. The grass is the brightest Kara has ever seen, it’s almost painful to look at it. She feels an indescribable joy bubbling up in her throat. She feels herself cry—tears of unadulterated joy. She sees people dancing in the grass, in white clothing, with bright smiles on their faces. She does not know who they are until she sees her father laughing amongst them._

_She feels a hand on her shoulder and turns to see her mother._

_Her mother smiles. ‘See. I had told you that you could not forget us.’_

_‘Where are we?’_

_‘The place you will be, when you are ready.’_

_‘Is this real?’_

_Astra tilts her head to the side, her smile growing bemused. ‘Does it matter?’_

_‘Kara!’ Her father calls and waves her over._

_She thinks she sees Kal in the trees. He is a child—no more than a toddler—and he is walking away into the depth of the forest._

_‘Wait.’ She says, frowning. ‘Kal! Where are you going?’_

_‘Kal?’ Astra asks. ‘Who is Kal?’_

_Kara brushes off her father’s greeting and walks after Kal. No one else follows. They continue dancing and laughing with each other. The forest is dark, though the greenery is still present. Kara can just see the small Kal walking away from her, on the horizon. She hurries her steps but she can’t seem to catch him._

_She turns in the trees, to see if Kal has decided to walk a different path. She gasps when she sees an obsidian black cloak, a hood pulled over the head.  
‘Stay away from me.’ Kara says, feeling an impossible sense of danger._

_The person in the hood laughs. It sounds familiar. It sounds like Sam._

_‘Sam?’ Kara asks. ‘What are you doing here? Have you seen Kal?’_

_‘The Kryptonian is no longer. As you will soon be.’_

_‘Sam—I don’t—Sam, please.’_

_An unbearable weight is pressing Kara into the ground and she can’t move. She drops to her knees, legs shaking._

_‘Sam….’_

‘Sam!’

The sound of Alex’s voice jolts Kara from her sleep. Alex sounds unlike she has before—panicked and scared. Kara is out of her bed and rushing toward the sound before she can even register where it is coming from. 

Kara is down in the prison cells. The sight she sees drains all the colour from her face.

Alex is hanging two feet in the air. Sam is holding her there, a hand steadily held out in the air.

‘Alex!’ Kara yells. 

Sam turns her attention to Kara. A small smile is playing on her face. She drops Alex from the air and onto the floor. The sound Alex makes when she hits the ground is sickening. 

Sam closes her eyes, lightning crackling at her fingertips. 

Kara rushes to stand in front of Alex just as Sam lets her lightning fly towards them. The blast doesn’t hit them. Instead it diverts and hits the ceiling. 

Sam balks. ‘Only cowards use the protection sphere.’

Kara grinds her teeth. ‘I’m not going to let you kill my sister.’

Sam grins. ‘It is not your sister I am after.’ 

Kara holds out her hand and wills the power that had allowed her to overpower Sam in their last battle. Sam surveys Kara with cold eyes and cocks her head to side. It’s an-almost Sam expression that throws Kara off guard. 

‘You can’t do it again, can you?’ Sam asks, her voice almost gentle. 

‘Do not tell me what I can do.’ 

‘Well by all means, go ahead Jedi.’

Kara closes her eyes, thinks of Rao, and wills the Force to come to her. A moment passes and Sam lets out a cold, disbelieving laugh. 

‘I have shamed my forefathers by letting you beat me.’

Alex gasps from the floor. ‘Kara. You’re thinking too hard.’ 

Kara sighs. ‘I know what I’m doing, Alex.’

‘Think about that time when we were kids, in that field. Playing in the field with mum. I almost got sunburnt.’

‘You did get sunburnt.’

Alex huffs out a strained laugh. ‘Yeah, sure.’ 

Kara feels it then, the pull of the Force. She lets it flow through her veins and out of her fingertips. 

Sam surveys her with calculated eyes. There is something expectant in their gleam, as if she knows what is about to happen.

Kara focuses on bringing her and her sister’s memory into the forefront of her mind. A dark shroud interrupts her—the hopelessness, the grief, the shame. The energy pulls her out of the moment and into something else entirely. 

_Jedi._ Sam’s voice—no, not Sam’s, someone else—interrupts her concentration. _You know as well as I that your Force connection was not what it once was. Not after everything you’ve been through._

The darkness in Kara’s mind is suffocating. 

_No._ She says. _You don’t know me. You don’t know Kryptonians._

Sam’s cold laugh echoes in her mind. _And you know nothing of me. Best not to speak of things you are too young to remember._

_What does that mean?_

_You speak as if a child could possibly remember the entire history of Krypton._

Suddenly the darkness lifts. Kara sees cracks of a series of images—Krypton, but not the Krypton that she remembers. The trees are higher than she remembers. She struggles against the images, trying to fill them not to replace the memories that are her own. 

_Stop. You won’t trick me into not remembering my home._

_You don’t need me to do that. I’m in your mind, Kara, I can tell that the memories are unclear._

_I remember everything. I remember seeing my planet explode because of you people._

_You people? How derivative._

_You may call my memories hazy, but I know in my heart what Krypton is._

Kara hears Sam’s laughter—but deeper and darker—echo throughout her mind. 

_In your heart? I suppose that makes it all the better._

Suddenly there is a weight in Kara’s mind. A weight she cannot lift. It is the weight of all Krypton. The planet and all lifeforms on it are crying out to her, willing for her to save them. She struggles under the weight, cannot keep her feet on solid ground. She feels her mind shift and turn. She feels her mind crumbles. 

She screams. Then everything goes black.  
———

Kara wakes up in a panic, in her own bed. Was everything a dream? Surely not. She gets her answer when she concentrates enough to see Sara and Alex standing at the foot of her bed. 

‘What happened?’ Kara asks. 

All Sara can offer is a shrug. ‘We have no idea. You two were just locked in a staring contest and then you fainted.’ 

‘She took me—somewhere else. How did you get me here?’

At that, Alex grins. ‘You three may have the Force on your side, but even the Force can’t beat a high grade tranquilliser.’

‘And you—‘

‘Shot her after you fainted, yeah. I thought maybe you could beat her and I wouldn’t have to try it.’

Kara sighs. ‘I guess I couldn’t.’

Alex sits down next to her. ‘What happened? We figured you weren’t just playing a really intense game of chicken.’

‘I—I don’t wanna talk about it.’ Kara says, all in a rush. ‘Not right now. We need to figure out what’s wrong with her.’

‘I have some theories on that.’ Sara supplies. ‘Obviously this is not the Sam we know.’

‘Sleeper agent?’ Alex suggests. ‘Maybe she is Sam, but not the Sam we thought we knew.’

‘No, that doesn’t sound right. It doesn’t sound like _them.’_

Kara pauses, thinks of everything that happened right up until Sam seemed to turn.

‘Maybe that’s the point.’ She says. ‘Maybe—maybe this isn’t the Empire’s way of doing things. Think about it. The Empress put a tracker in her daughter. The Empire would’t think to do that. Maybe the Empress was the one who planted a sleeper agent amongst us. Thought maybe it would take off or it wouldn’t.’

Sara narrows her eyes, deep in thought. ‘But what would have brought it on? Why now?’

Kara laughs, in relief. ‘Of course. Darth Mortem. Sam’s transformation was triggered by his death. The Empress wants to give us something worse than him. So she gave us one of our own.’

‘Well, great.’ Alex says. ‘But how do we fix her?’

They go to the only person they think would be willing to help them. Kara radioes Nyssa on a frequency that only a handful of people know. Nyssa, however, is still unhappy to be receiving a call at all. 

‘What is it?’ She asks, her monotone voice betraying her urgency.

‘We have a situation.’ Kara says, before she explains it all. 

‘Your theory is insane.’ Nyssa says, flatly. ‘First of all, you have no fact.’ 

‘But have you heard about it?’

Nyssa pauses. ‘Yes. Though it was only a theory being developed by some of the Masters. To cloak a person inside another person’s mind seemed like only a trick the very best could even dream of trying, let alone pulling off.’ 

‘Would the Empress have tried?’

‘In theory, sure. It’s the kind of plan she was known for—a plan within a plan within a plan. Would she have succeeded? That, I have no idea.’

‘So you don’t know how to fix her?’

Nyssa sighs. ‘No. You’d need someone close enough to the Empress for that. I was never her favourite. Her son would know—though I assume you have heard the news of his death.’ 

‘I was there.’ 

‘Huh.’ The radio line crackles. ‘Your name didn’t come up. Yet.’ 

‘I didn’t kill him.’

‘I didn’t think you would. Aside from Mortem, you don’t have many options. Well, not besides…’

‘Lena?’

‘She might know. She won’t help, but she might know.’

‘You talk as if you know her.’ 

‘So do you.’

‘She—‘

‘Yes. I assumed.’ Nyssa sighs, it sounds heavier than before. ‘She’ll be lost to us now. For a while, anyway.’

‘Us?’

Nyssa’s next sentence sounds irritated, though she speaks with an even tone. ‘She was my informer. She gave me vital information for the promise of asylum. I suppose she never got far.’ 

‘She claimed asylum. She came to me.’

‘The connection… it drove her to you.’

‘How did you… know?’

‘She asked me some questions. I met you. Pieced it together. You two aren’t exactly subtle.’

‘I can’t ask her. Not now.’

‘Where are you keeping Sam?’

‘In a cell. At the bottom of Sara’s ship. She’s tranquillised.’

‘That won’t hold her for long.’ 

‘I know.’

‘I’m going to give you some coordinates to a safe place. You need to travel there quietly. Tell no one else the location. Not even your sister. I am one of two people alive that know of this place.’

‘Why are you helping me through this? You don’t have to involve yourself.’ 

Nyssa gives a dry chuckle. ‘Call it a lifetime of atonement. Tell Sara I say hello.’  
———

Kara directs Alex to the safe place. Alex is highly suspicious, but does as she’s told. 

The journey is much longer than expected. They can’t risk any fast means of travel, so they simply float through space to some numbers in Kara’s head. They all trust Nyssa enough to know that where they are going will be the best place for them, but a sense of foreboding is in the air.

Sara spends most of her time watching Sam, in her cell. The tranquilliser knocks her out for the few hours. When she starts to stir, they give her another one. Alex doesn’t want to injure Sam in any way, but there’s nothing else they can do. 

Kara notes the way that Alex pulled a blanket over Sam, with gentle eyes. Perhaps there has been more going on between the two of them than Kara had had the time to pay attention to.

When Alex takes over from Sara’s turn steering the ship, Kara sits down. 

‘What’s going on with you and Sam?’

Alex side-eyes her. ‘Currently? Nothing. She’s dead asleep.’

‘Don’t be dense.’

‘I’m not being dense.’

‘You put a blanket on her after she tried to kill you.’

‘I put blankets on you.’

‘I don’t try to kill you.’

‘Touche.’ Alex sighs. ‘Kara, you know that’s not really Sam, right?’

‘I know that. But—‘

‘I can’t—I can’t get into this right now. She’s not in there, Kara. I can’t let my mind go there. I will tell you everything, later. But I can’t visualise the real Sam when she’s not who talks to me at the moment.’ 

‘I’m sorry.’

Alex gives Kara a sad smile. ‘Don’t be. It’s not your fault you’re a natural gossip.’

Kara wallops Alex on the shoulder. ‘Hey! I am not!’  
Alex goes to whack the back of Kara’s head, but misses when Kara ducks. They pause in their minor wrestling when a planet—green and lush, but tiny—comes into view. 

‘Those are the coordinates.’ Kara confirms. ‘This must be it.’

Alex lands the ship as quietly as she can manage. When they exit, they see a smattering of small tents across what appears to be a valley. It looks too rudimentary to be Sith. The Empire would never let their guards live in abodes like this.

‘Hello?’ Alex calls. ‘We—we come in peace.’

Kara snorts at the wording. Alex elbows her in the ribs. 

‘I should hope so.’ A warm voice replies. 

Kara feels tears spring her eyes immediately. 

She turns to her left to Eliza, standing with a brilliant grin and arms crossed over her middle.

**Author's Note:**

> fair warning, I get most of my knowledge of the Star Wars universe from the games I've played over the years. I've watched the movies and such, but I'm not exactly an inexhaustible source of knowledge about the universe in general. I've consulted Google for things I wanted to include in this story but haven't fully understood. Apologies for any confusion with the current canon. 
> 
> thoughts and comments are always appreciated.


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